Paths of Change
by La'Rae and Ninjas Incorporated
Summary: The truth of the matter was simple. I was a liar. A liar with good intentions, but a liar regardless. That was going to change, it wouldn't be the only thing too. But it would be the only thing about me to change. I tried to stay consistent with my convictions. My conviction? People didn't change, even if they died and were reborn in a universe that shouldn't have existed. SI-OC
1. Chapter 1

**.1**

" _The true mind can weather all the lies and illusions without being lost. The true heart can touch the poison of hatred without being harmed. Since beginning less time, darkness thrives in the void, but always yields to purifying light"_ _ **Avatar: The Last Airbender**_

…

I never wanted any of this to happen. That is the first thing you should know. Actually that's the only thing you should know. Because if you are going to remember anything from this fabrication that can scathingly be called a story, remember that I did not want this. It should have never been this way. But I couldn't help it, I hadn't wanted to.

If anyone asked why, my answer was simple, it did not change, and my answer did not account for change either. No matter what, my answer to the question stayed the same. The answer? He deserved a good life, a happy life, that boy deserved to live. I wanted him to live. Maybe my answer wasn't so simple

What was the question? It was simple too, at least more simple than the answer. Why?

Why? It would become the question I'd be asked and would even ask myself.

Why did it matter?

Why did it happen?

Why did you do that?

Why?

Why…

.

.

.

Why not?

They should have stopped asking. I loved him, and I wanted to protect him, why would my answer change? He was my brother, what did they expect me to do? I liked breaking expectations placed on me, I always had. It was a quirk.

Prodigy. They labeled me, but, if only they had known. Known the truth, maybe then they wouldn't have kept asking me all these questions. It was annoying. Even if the questions did change. My answer stayed the same.

I think they wanted to know, how my mind worked, why I thought why I did but they didn't ask the right questions. They didn't know the questions to be asked. He did, he understood me. Better than anyone else.

So I want you to remember two simple things, they won't change, they never do. First of all, I never meant for any of this to happen ( _that was a lie_ ) and secondly I would do anything in my power to keep him safe, no matter the consequences. Those are the only things that you need to know.

What follows next isn't the happiest tale of nice people, no what follows next is hatred. Pure ignorant hatred. They hated us for things that were beyond our control, for things that we had not done, things that had been done to us. I hated them for it. He wanted them to acknowledge him, he did not know the truth. My brother had not understood why.

There was that word again. Why? That word haunted me, tore through my very being. In a way it also brought comfort to me. I had to remember why, it was important too. More important than my loathing of them. I digress.

Back to what followed, they hated us. It stopped being a big deal after some time. Too me at least, I did not need their acknowledgement or praise, I did not require their approval. I simply wanted to protect my brother. He was the light in my darkness, he made me whole. To simply put it my brother was an idiot, but he was mine and I protected what was mine.

Sometime later we started academy, they wanted us to become weapons. I advanced quickly because I had no need to hold myself back. How would I be strong enough to protect him if I made myself weak? There was no logical point to it.

They would label me a prodigy ( _like my father)_ , that however did not stop the whispers or the heated looks. But I could handle them, words had never hurt me. Why should I let them now? I developed a thick skin or a thicker skin. Either way it wasn't important. Because they could only hurt me if I allowed them too, and that was not on the agenda. Not today, not ever.

I graduated early, there was no since to keep me at the academy if I did not need to be there. The teachers had agreed although they did protest on behalf my age. If only they had known, if only they had realized that what they thought was merely a child had the sense of a fully grown adult then maybe they wouldn't have tried so hard to hold me back.

My brother had been jealous, afraid I wanted the same thing as he. Once reassured that no in fact I did not want that we were fine. He was happy for me, his smile taking over his whole face. Have I mention how much I loved his smile? No. Well it was bright, like the sun, it made me feel warm inside. Seeing him smile made me happy. It was one of the few things that did.

They told me I was quiet child, that I was shy, I did not seek attention like my brother, and that I did not go out of my way to talk or to make friends. I did not need their attention. Perhaps they were mistaken though, I was not shy in nature, the quiet one sure, but never shy. There was no reason to be shy, I merely didn't like them. Besides you learned more by watching then you ever did by speaking to people who hated you. It was a lesson well learned.

Maybe I was being insensitive but humans tended to be idiotic, emotions always ran over reason. Why would that change now? Nothing else had.

So I receive my forehead protected and was placed in the tutelage of one blank expression brunette man. I was given no teammates and that was fine. This was an apprenticeship after all, just me and my master. My teacher was an odd character, but I could see the reasoning behind the choice. He could control me if I ever lost control. They didn't need to know of the agreement made. No one but myself understood.

I was being cynical again. He kept trying to tell me to ease up on it a bit, but I think the cynicism was etched into my bone. It was a part of me, like the very reason we were hated. My brother simply did not understand. Regardless I still loved him.

It has come to my attention that I have told you quite a bit about myself, without even telling you my name. A shame. I knew something had slipped my mine, do forgive me for it. Do allow me to interrupt this tale for a few seconds to introduce myself.

I used to be someone else, it was a long time ago I think. The truth was it didn't matter now. Maybe it never had, because the fact remained I was Uzumaki Mitomi and this is the story of how I became Uzumaki Naruto's twin sister and altered everything. This is the story of how I lived after death and of the only one thing matter now.

The most important thing you need to remember. I was a liar, I always had been. A liar with a good intentions and an empty heart filled only by the love on one person. But that was going to change. It would be the only thing to change about me, I generally tried to be consistent with my convictions. Because people did not change, even if they were reborn into a fictitious universe that should not have existed in the first place.

Why?

That was something I did not know the answer too, I did not want to know the answer to. It was better that way.

 **XOXOX**

 **I have a serious problem… You have no idea. To let you in on how bad it is, as you know I have two SI stories already posted here both Third War era au, another SI that I have three chapters written of just sitting on my computer waiting to be posted. And then this damn thing has been pestering me for weeks now and I just had to write it down to get it out of my head. I don't know if I'll be continuing it but I'm pretty proud of the writing style so I am going to leave it posted. Who knows maybe someone will like it and I'll continue it. This is also shorted than my normal work so yah. Perhaps I'll come back and add more to this introduction chapter later. Oh well.**

 **As usual I own nothing.**

 **Thoughts?**

 **Sincerely, La'rae**


	2. Chapter 2

**.2**

" _Who am I? One name you might have for me is the world, or you might call me the universe, or perhaps God, or perhaps the Truth. I am All, and I am One. So, of course, this also means that I am you. I am the truth of your despair, the inescapable price of your boastfulness. And now, I will bestow upon you the despair you deserve"_ _ **~Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood**_

… **.**

The biggest lie you will ever tell is a simple one. They usually are. It is three small words, words that you want to believe even though you know they are baseless and false. Words that you will tell yourself and sometimes others. That lie, the lie in which we all tell, the one we want desperately to be the truth. Well that lie is, I am fine.

Each morning when I wake up, after I am dressed, after I have roused my brother from his sleep, I look into the mirror take deep breath and tell myself that I am fine. It is a lie, one in which I tell myself every day to keep going.

The truth is, I am not fine. I never have been and perhaps I never will be. Because without any doubt I am a grown woman occupying the body of child. That fact would unhinge even the best of us. It is a fact that I have to live with.

Today is no different. It is just harder. Because today, is a very important day for my brother. It marks where we are in the story. The beginning. You see, today is the day my brother will graduate from the academy should he pass the exam. Which I know he will, even if through unconventional means. I guess you could argue that the beginning was when we were born, but quite honestly nothing of importance happened up until this point. Nothing that really needs to mentioned.

Carefully I slip on my chunin vest, it's new. Not because I've recently made chunin but because my last one was destroyed on a mission. You see I graduated early, at the age of eight, and was a genin for two years before I got a field promotion in lieu of taking the exams since I wasn't a part of a team. And head for the door, I hear my brother fumbling around in the bathroom confirming he is awake and getting ready and then I slip away afterwards.

I have a mission, I am not thrilled to be missing my brother graduation but it couldn't be helped. They need a fuinjutsu user and I am currently the only one in the village besides the silver haired Jonin and his knowledge is only basic. Quickly I make haste to meet the team I'm being sent with at the gate.

I give the two a polite nod upon arrival but I do not speak. There is no reason too. Truthfully if I can go this who trip without speaking more that absolutely necessary then I will consider it a success. It throws people off, and it is hilarious to watch.

The name Uzumaki immediately make people think you should be cheerful and flamboyant. So for me to be the complete opposite of that generally throws everyone for a loop. It would suck for shishou if he ever actually had to work with my brother. I was for the most part chill and collected, my brother wasn't. He was a true Uzumaki, I was an imposter.

I won't bore you of the details of my mission, it was boring. Trust me. Ha! A liar asking you to trust them. Sounded like a bad joke.

We returned a day later, I had written my report on the journey home and headed straight to the Tower to hand it over. There was no use holding on to it. Also maybe I could see if my brother had passed or not. I was pretty sure he did this time around, but who knows.

The Third is a genuinely kind man, I respected him, and my brother well he worshiped the ground he walked on. He gave me a smile as I handed over my report, usually I gave my mission statement to a desk worker but today they told me that the Third wanted to speak to me.

"Did your team run into any troubles?" I shook my head at the question. No we hadn't, not this time at least.

"Ah that's good, did you come straight here Mito-chan?" It amused me that I had been named after the First's wife. My mother's mentor. Another nod for in place of words, the old man sighed.

"Then I'll let you know, your brother passed the graduation exam and was placed on Team 7." I nodded again at his words. Wondering how exasperated I could make him before he'd give me that look that told me he knew what I was doing and that I better say something.

"There however was an incident." I raise my brow at him, he isn't telling me everything. Then he gives me a look. A sigh escapes my lips, obviously he didn't want to play my games today.

"An incident?" I parrot his words asking him to continue in as little as possible. Speaking is mostly unnecessary, especially when you can learn more from watching.

"There was a traitor among us, it was dealt with. But your brother learned the truth about the demon." There was that word again, demon. I hated that word. The beast inside us was not a demon. He was just misunderstood.

"Oh." His brow raised, like mine had previously. Finally he sighed.

"He will have questions, some of those questions you are not permitted to answer." I shook my head, I didn't agree with him.

"He has the right to know." My words are pointed out in an accusatory tone. I did not want to lie anymore to my brother. He did not deserve that. No one did.

"It is for his protection. Had you not been so perceptive you would have never known either." His tone warns me, of what I am not yet certain. I will not tell my brother of our parents, not yet. But that does not mean I like it.

"I know." Everything, things that you can never know. Things that I can never tell. That part I do not speak. He gives me a funny look, perhaps it is all over my face. I do not try to hide my intelligence.

"Then you understand why this is important." I blink at his words, make no sign that I agree or disagree with him. Maybe it is for the best, he could be right. Once he realizes I have nothing more to say the old man shakes his head.

"You are dismissed." I bow my head respectfully before taking my leave. He should have known better.

It is a shame to me how blind some people truly are. A shame that they only see what they want to see, and what they see is only a small piece to a bigger picture. That was my problem people in general, I could see the whole picture. I knew things that shouldn't be known, things that I did not wish to even have knowledge of. And yet here they all were lucky by their very ignorance alone.

T'was an ignorant concept to believe that by never telling us the truth of our parent we would be safe. No one who was left in darkness was ever safe. The professions that we chose weren't safe, so to what point was keeping the truth from us going to protect us? I never understood the reasoning for it, decisions made from hate and ignorance never made for good reason.

It was burden to me, to have this knowledge and to be unable to share. I assume it is a price I pay ultimately for being a liar. A price I will always pay. Do you want to know something? Something horrible?

Even if I had been allowed, I don't know if I would have actually told him anything. Just left him in his innocence, in the darkness. Because I know it works out, know that he learns the truth at some point.

Does that make me a terrible person? Probably.

Do I care? Not really.

Some people are better left in their ignorance, some people even thrive in the dark, some people; the strong ones, people like my brother. Well they always manage to pull the light into the darkness and they shine like a fiery beacon bringing everyone to them because of their light. Because of the joy that surrounds them.

People like me? There is no one like me. But I myself, I like to relish in the warmth and light of others. I will never be as strong as my brother. Never as kind, but that's okay, I have accepted that fate as another price to pay. The facts are simple, I do not need my own light all I need to do is nourish the light of other to keep it burning.

Perchance I was being cynical again. I probably was. Stowing a frown I made my way home. My brother would return at some point and I would need to be there to hear his good news. And ultimately to answer any questions I could. Shaking my head at the thought.

Maybe I needed to stop thinking so much. It was unlikely to happen, but worth a shot. Perhaps if I didn't think about it everything would turn out fine.

I am fine.

A lie.

 **XOXOX**

 **I don't even know anymore. So I made another chapter as I had inspiration for this, so yah. Ugh.. Just let me know what you think. Or something.**

 **As usual I don't own anything. Except the idea of Mitomi.**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	3. Chapter 3

**.3**

" _I'm not sure why I've decided to do this. I'm not any stronger than I was, and nothing else has changed. But all the same, this time I'm not going to run away. It's okay to feel weak sometimes. It's okay to be afraid. The important thing is that we face our fears. That's…that's what makes us strong."_ _ **~Fruits Basket**_

…

Family is the building block on which most societies are built upon. It is the cornerstone of community, and it was also the downfall. Humans, the decent ones would always put their family first. Above orders, above law, it was the inherent way of the world.

My brother and I had never known this. We were orphans, no family just each other. Surrounded by people who could do nothing but hate us for the tragedy of lost loved ones. It wasn't our fault, but they refused to see it that way.

It was just simply not a concept that we had grasp of. Sure they say that family doesn't have to end in blood but those kind of bonds would not come until much later for us. I think I was five when it finally clicked for me.

Your teammates could be your family, if you had the right kind of people. Because that is what it always boiled down to, people. I hated them. People were a terrible thing. One day I would learn. My brother had a love hate relationship with his team currently. Personally I thought they were all a bunch of brats. His sensei was familiar to me, for the fact that his former squad mate was my shishou.

My hands were leisurely place in my vest pockets as I watched them with an amused expression. The preteens were amusing. Finally there teacher looked up at me with his uncovered eye, his brow raised.

"Good morning Tomi-chan." I nodded my head in response before slipping off my perch and landing next to the jonin.

"Morning." He was still giving me a semi questioning look, I shrugged my shoulders at him in response. Unsure of what he expected from me.

I watched Team 7 as the ran D-ranks for a half hour before growing bored, feeling a tinge bad for their sensei who couldn't do anything other than that with them. He sighed but offered a half wave as I left. As per normal I wondered around the village out of the eyes of them and just kept to myself while observing.

People watching was an intriguing mental exercise. It was intriguing because seeing how they behaved when they assumed no one was looking was always great. The exercise part came in handy when you were trying to hone your intelligence gathering skills. Mine were pretty good. I had been observing for almost as long as I could see.

Families were the most interesting to observe. To see how parents treated their kids out in the public eye versus how to treat them when they thought no one could see. Or to see children searching for approving looks from their parents, to see their accomplishments. Children were the easiest and hardest to read.

I got some dango from a small stand before getting settled on a nice shady branch. It was a nice day. A good day for what I wanted to do. With shishou out on a month long mission there really weren't a lot of options for me. They had limited me to only being able to run a few mission outside of the village by myself and only ones of their choosing but I was too smart to be doing menial task around the village. To quote a Nara, it was a pain.

I observed for hours, watching people go about their lives. Nothing of interest was noted today. The villagers rarely changed or did something of interest to me. Maybe I should go back to team 7 watch at least that was amusing.

You probably thing I am some kind of narcissist. I do not blame you, honestly. To be honest you are more than likely right. But they hardly matters to me.

You probably would also like me to get back to the more interesting aspect of this tale. Which as we all know is my brother. He is the more entertaining of us, that much it true. But I think you need to understand things from my perspective as well even though it isn't nearly as entertaining.

The reason I observed was selfish, I wanted to see if they ever hurt as badly as there words and actions hurt my brother. I wanted them to pay for their sins against us. But those things would make him unhappy. He loved this terrible little village. Myself, well I hated it.

My brother would suffer so many hardships for this awful little village, he would sweat, bleed, and almost die for them many times over before they would recognize him as a human being. That didn't sit well with me, it more than likely never would.

"Yo Mitomi-chan!" My brow raised at the man nearly shishou's age talking around a senbon. What did he want? He waved his hand in a motion for me to come down. Sighing I jumped from the branch, landing almost cat-like next to him.

"What are you doing?" His tone curious, his eyes told a different story. I shrugged my shoulders at him like I had done to my brother's sensei earlier.

The man's brow raised at the shrug. Honestly what did they want from me? Everyone knew I didn't say much, what did he expect? Whatever it was, they weren't getting it from me.

"Your shishou still gone?" He questions after a minute of silence that passes between us. I nod my head, yes. The corner of his mouth quirks up, a smirk.

"So you really don't say a lot do you." It is not a question, and even if it was I was not going to dignify it with a verbal response. He shakes his head at me. Like it amuses him, or that the situation was funny somehow. Hell if I knew.

"Did you want something?" I was not feeling particularly polite right now, or for that matter today at all. It was bugging me. Today, not that fact that I wasn't being polite. With shishou not here to scold me about it I did not really see a point to do so.

He sighs. "Yes actually, I hear you are interested in learning to use the Fourth's Hiraishin technique." Finally something interesting, my eyes widen just a bit at his words. They were going to let me learn it? That meant I wouldn't have to do it unsupervised.

"You hear correctly." He actually chuckled at that, then did something unexpected and ruffled my hair. My eyes narrowed at him through my lashes. I was not fond of people touching my hair as long and obnoxious as it was.

"Great! We will start tomorrow morning." And then the man disappears in a swirl of leaves. What a jerk. How did he expect me to meet him if he didn't tell me where I was supposed to meet him at? Idiot.

I resume my wondering around after that until evening time when I stop in front of his favorite restaurant. The old man behind the counter greets me with a smile. "How are you today Mimi-chan?" His eyes do not hold any kind of hatred, they are kind and I appreciate it.

"I'm doing well, has my brother been by?" The man shakes his head, I accept the no for what it is.

"I will wait for him then." He smiles once again before returning to the small kitchen.

He is the first person to ever regard us as human beings, the man is kind. I think it is because we remind him of them. But he never says anything about it. I accept the silence for what it is and wait patiently for my brother. Knowing he will come.

It is a funny thing to me, that family is the base of all. Because family doesn't have to end in blood. The facts remain the same, they all still hate us. Even those few who do not mind or even offer kindness do not persuade my thoughts of them. Of this village as a whole.

We were not born to be hated, but we are.

Our family, those of blood, are long dead. I know the truth. A burden I bare alone.

I am a liar. Who knows nothing but the inherent truth.

I have accepted who I am, know my worth.

People need family, it is a fact of life.

I only need my brother, it is a simple truth.

"Mito you're here!" There is a cheer to his voice, a warmth in his smile. I nod my head.

"I promised, Naru." I don't break my promises, not on purpose, and not to my brother. He grins at me before ordering his ramen. As we wait he launches into an epic tale about their missions today, some of which I know is over glorified for our two witnesses. It makes me happy, he makes me smile.

He is a ray of sunshine. Shining into the darkness.

I will be fine. Perhaps it is not a lie.

Or maybe not, who knows? The person I lied to the most. That person had always been myself.

 **XOXOX**

 **I give up. I just don't… This story is really coming out of nowhere. I'm not even sure. So just let me know what you think!**

 **As always I own nothing.**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	4. Chapter 4

**.4**

" _There was no place for me, so I had to make one for myself, and then I realized, I had a place, but I was the only one in it. I didn't know any other way to live."_ _ **Inuyasha**_

… **.**

People crave change. They also hate change. There is thin line between the two. Because change and staying stagnant we're of equal values but as different as black and white. That middle line, was a gray area consumed by indifference. People who frankly didn't care one way or another; people like _me (there is no one like me)._

I lived in the in between of liking and hating change, like many others. It was a daily struggle. Now I want to remind you of something, something that was said earlier. The things that happened, I never meant for them to. Those words were a lie.

You see no matter how much I claim to hate them, how much indifference I claimed to have because of them, I still wanted my brother to be happy. It was the most important thing, is the most important thing. Everything else would come second.

All this is said to say, that things are beginning to change. My brother has more people there for him now. It feels as if I have no place in this world. I shouldn't even have been here to start with.

I felt as if my life, this life, had not really matter in the grand scheme of things.

I think that perhaps I lack purpose. Up until this point it has been solely about making my brother happy, making sure he has a good life. But maybe I need another purpose. My shishou is raising his brow at _me (we were supposed to be training)_ but I ignore him to continue in my thoughts. They offer me no comfort.

They usually didn't.

Did I want another purpose? Not particularly, I liked only having one thing to constantly worry over. It was a nice change from my previous life. On the other hand I hardly knew anyone in our age group and had isolated myself from the world. I needed a change, I just didn't want to. It was that gray area, indifference was the downfall of nations.

Shishou is standing over me now, his brow still raised. Why must he block the view of the clouds? What did he want from me? For that matter what did any of them want from me? I had yet to figure it out.

"Mitomi, what are you doing?" I blinked at him, sitting up slowly and then gave him a highly ill-amused look. He sighs at me. A reaction I had been getting a lot lately.

"Contemplating my existence." He then nods as if my answer is acceptable and takes a seat next to me in the grass.

"Do you want to talk about it?" My expression blanked, did I ever want to talk? No.

"No." I leaned back letting my arms support my upper body turning my face towards the cloudy sky. Did I have purpose now? My brother had other people who cared for him in his life now, did he even need me?

My shishou laid back in the grass using his arms to support his head. I think that he's given up on me today. We were supposed to be training but I just wasn't up to it. The thought of training made me sick, hiraishin training had been taking a lot out of me my new sempai was vindictive.

"Do I have purpose shishou?" He turned to look at me, his eyes had a funny look to them. My question must have startled him. I had said that I didn't want to talk about it.

"I believe so, you are here so you must have purpose." Says the survivor of brutal experimentation. Oh that was kind of dark, defiantly keeping it to myself. I ponder over his words.

"But what is it?" I just want to say that I do not generally asked such questions out loud or talk this much. But I am currently having a bit of an existential crisis so do forgive this out of character moment. He gives me a calculated look as if the question is something he himself has struggled with or that he is surprised by the sheer amount of words I have spoken. Either options was a liable reason for the look.

"I do not have the answer to that, only you do." I huffed, turning my eyes back to the clouds. But what was it? If my purpose was not to ensure my brother happiness then why was I here? Shishou wasn't very helpful when it came to more emotional concepts. Regardless I still adored him.

"Mitomi." Shishou calls my name softly, I blink before meeting his gaze.

"Hai shishou?" He seems to give me a once over, to check if I am all there together. I am not, but who am I to tell him that?

He is a perceptive, he undoubtedly knows this already.

"What brought along these thoughts?" Shishou sounds concerned, and I didn't know him capable. I bite my lip thinking. Where did this come from?

"I don't know, I'm just worried I don't have purpose now that Naruto has a team. Now that he had others in his life." Perhaps I was being disquieted or narcissistic, it was probably the narcissism… again. It had always just been us, but our relationship had started to become distant. My brother was a greater human than me. Shishou looks somewhat startled, if not by my words but then of how many I spoke. I did not speak in long sentences often.

"Have you talked to your brother about your feelings?" I shook my head. My brother was gone, on his first C-rank. We hadn't seen each other in a while. It felt like an eternity since he graduated, but in reality on a month had passed us by.

"No, he's on a mission." Shishou sighs but sits up. Probably wondering what he did to deserve such an odd student. I wonder sometimes myself, but then I'm reminded that he could control the beast and that is why we were brought together. Lucky for him.

"I suggest you talk to him about it. That will probably help, but until then try to think about something else." Distraction sounded nice actually. I nod my head.

"Do you want to see if I've improved any with the hiraishin?" He nods his head before pulling himself off the ground. I follow shortly after, this could prove to be entertaining.

"Shishou?" He looks over at me and my sprawled on the ground form. My body ached for the test. Probably ligament damage.

"Hai?" I close my eyes, trying to will the pain forming behind me temple away. Even though I knew it wasn't going to work.

"Thanks." He rolls his eyes, but nudges my foot a bit affectionately with his shoe. In my opinion at least.

"Get up, I'll treat you to dinner." It can't be helped, I smile at him.

I think it's important to take a second here and make a notation. Just a bit of information you might find interesting. My shishou, whose name I never say is a man with a troubling past and is a byproduct of the fact that people can change. An example that change can be good.

If you had not realized by now, I am a cynic, I don't believe in petty ideals of good concurs evil or that change is a natural progression of life. I am not convinced that people truly change. It is not possible, these are the things that I wish to believe. You can be good, or you could be evil, but you could not be both.

To be honest I didn't want to believe any differently, it's why my life was full of indifference because while you couldn't be both you most defiantly could be neither. I did not care, I had never cared and that was the truth. This is how I have always been, what I have always thought.

But my shishou, whose hands I had left my trust in to keep my brother safe, was a changed man. It is a datum to which I know only because of the knowledge that I should not even have. Because of my shishou I want to believe that change is possible, I want to believe that people can truly can change their nature.

But it is hard to let go of certain convictions. I had convince myself that people could not change, for the simple fact that I myself could not change my own nature. Perhaps I needn't worry so much on the things to which I had yet learned to control.

You may be wondering why this is important. I want to remind you of a few things.

Why? The question that I would forever be asking and answering.

I am fine. The biggest lie you will ever tell yourself, a lie I tell myself on a regular basis.

Family, a notion that will hurt you more than anything else. It would hurt you more than anything else.

I am a liar.

I haven't a clue as to what I am doing. I never knew to begin with.

Finally the last thing, the most important thing, even with my doubt of purpose was still my brother. I knew that would never change. It didn't account for change. That was a promise.

I never broke my word.

 **XOXOX**

 **Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed this story! You guys are so awesome! I am glad that you like this. Even if I am still not entirely sure what this is, so thank you!**

 **As always, I own nothing.**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**

 **Please let me know what you think. Thank you for reading!**

 **P.S completely unbeta'd so please forgive any grammar or spelling errors. I'll go back later to work on them. Maybe…**


	5. Chapter 5

**.5**

" _Destiny? What would a boy know of destiny? If a fish lives its whole life in this river, does he know the river's destiny? No! Only that it runs on and on out of his control. He may follow where it flows, but he cannot see the end. He cannot imagine the ocean."_ _ **~Avatar: The Last Airbender**_

… **.**

A word of advice. Never set expectations. Setting expectations is the down fall of humanity, among many other things. Humanity was doomed to fail from the very start… Anyway moving on. Do not set expectations. When you set expectation, of people, of events, so on and so forth; you set yourself up for ultimate failure.

This is a lesson to be learned for all mankind. But more specifically it was a problem in an equation that I constantly fumbled over. I had knowledge of the future, I knew how things were supposed to play out and when they did not go as cannon I struggled. For instance, the reason in which I had been called to the Hokage's office three and half weeks after my brother departure to the Land of Waves.

Let me say this before I continue, expectations were a bitch when they were not met.

I blinked, trying to mask the confused look on my face with one of absolute boredom. The picture does not change. "Good morning Hokage-sama." He smirks at me, I simply raise my brow in retaliation. What now?

"Good morning to you as well, Mito-chan." I give a greeting nod to team 7 that looks a little worse for wear. My brother is oddly quiet, they all are.

"Who is this?" Might as well get to the point. Regardless that I already knew who he was, or the fact he was supposed to have died.

"This is Haku, do you mind escorting him to T & I?" It wasn't a question so I just nodded my head and made a motion for the Yuuki boy to follow me. Kakashi was kind and handed me a folder on my way out, probably to let T&I know what to do. The boy was silent.

I could already feel it, I was going to have to say something. "What did my brother, the blonde one, say to you?" It was bugging me, how was this different? Why was it different? I couldn't make sense of it.

"He told me that I could have more than one purpose." I froze in my spot, wide eyes turned to look at the boy is disbelief.

"And you believed him?" A twelve your old green genin. The ice user smiled at me, it was a nice look.

"He believed it." Of course he did, that idiot. I sigh in exasperation shaking my head, I didn't add anything to that. What could I say to that? Absolutely nothing. We came upon the Tactical and Intelligence building soon after.

It was just my luck that as I was walking the boy in, the Head of the division was talking to a shinobi behind a desk. The man smiled at me. "Mitomi-chan good morning, who do you have here?" My expression doesn't change, I think he expected it too by the disappointed look I was getting. That man.

"Morning Yamanaka-sama, this is Haku, I was asked to escort him here." I held out the file to him. He accepted it, his look flattening out he turned calculating eyes to the teen.

"Alright you can follow me." I was left alone standing by the desk, I sighed how tedious. The man sitting behind the desk snicker at me. He received a dark look.

After that I left the building, my head full. How was this going to affect cannon? No, you know what screw it, it didn't matter to me anyway. Why should it? I didn't care how things would play out, unless it directly interfered with my brother's happiness. Those things didn't stand a chance.

I wondered around the village after that, thinking. It was a habit of mine to do when I had something pressing on my mind. Let me tell you this, walking aimlessly around the village did absolute wonders for my mental health.

My wondering lead me to no surprise the ramen stand, my brother was also sitting down eat what appeared to be his third bowl. That wasn't a surprise either. "Mind if I join?" His head shot around, I smirked at the ramen hanging out of his mouth. Idiot.

His hand patted the empty seat next to him and I indulged by sitting down. "The usual?" I nodded my head in affirmative at the older man, then turned to look at my brother.

"How did you mission go?" I was curious. Honestly I just couldn't help but wonder why is had derailed from cannon.

He launched into an epic tale that anyone passing by would have just assumed to be the imagination of a new genin. But I knew that it was truth. At the end of his story, my second bowl of ramen and his fifth I shook my head but remained silent. That went almost exactly as it had before, so why was the ice user here? It didn't make sense.

I handed the owner a little more the necessary for our food and quietly followed after my brother as he left the stand. It bothered me that I couldn't figure out what had changed, that my expectations for how this event should have turned out were not met.

My pride was shot here, I claimed to have known everything. So why couldn't figure this out? I wanted it not to matter, but no matter how hard I tried to think of something else I always came back to this. Why was he still alive?

I went to bed that night full of unanswered questions, Naruto who could tell something was off cuddled next to me. His offered comfort. Truthfully I didn't sleep well that night, or several nights to follow.

I had set expectations of how things were supposed to happen. Something I had known better to do but had done regardless. My expectations were not met, instead I was met by the fact that things can change and it made me wondered what else could be different because of this?

Surely this one spared life wouldn't change that much. Right? Maybe I was expecting too much. I closed my eyes, trying to will the thoughts to leave me alone. My fingers played in strands of short blonde hair. There were other things to worry about.

So as a rule of thumb, do not make expectations. Do not make assumptions of a situation either. Neither did any good for the mental health of a narcissistic imposter and they won't do you any good either.

Those two things could be the downfall of humanity if we let them. I personally wasn't going to let them win tonight. Tomorrow is always a different day.

Perhaps I was lying to myself again. I probably was.

I had never been an optimist, there was no point to start now.

Only optimist thought they could overcome things which were set in stone. My brother was an optimist, there was only room for one in this family. He could overcome anything. Apparently even the destiny of someone set up to die. Go figure.

I wanted to believe that nothing bad would come from this. However I had little faith that anything good come stem from it either.

I did not set any expectations for the outcome. It was better not too, whatever happened would surprise me. Much to my own distain.

I hated being surprised.

I was a liar.

 **XOXOX**

 **Hello everyone! This is a quick update before I go to work. I will probably be editing this chapter later in the evening but I wanted to go ahead and post it. Also I wanted to answer a question, that about Mitomi's appearance.**

 **Mitomi had red hair like her mother, she does not have the whiskers even though Naruto and she are twins. She favors Minato more in facial structure but you can tell that Naruto and she are related. I will most likely be explaining the why for that in one of the chapters later on. So just be on the lookout for it.**

 **I also want to say thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and alerted this story. You guys are so awesome and I really like hearing from you! I will try my best to keep regularly updating this, but it's getting a little difficult to write because it is so different from my usual writing style so please hang in there with me while I get more accustom to writing in this odd first person narrative.**

 **Also what do you think if I switch the first person pov around a little, so you can see how other view Mitomi? Just a thought.**

 **Alright as usual I own nothing, only Mitomi.**

 **Please leave a comment and let me know what you guys think!**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	6. Chapter 6

**.6**

" _There are many types of monsters that scare me: Monsters who cause troubles without showing themselves, monsters who abduct children, monsters who devour dreams, monsters who suck blood… and then, monsters who tell nothing but lies. Lying monsters are a real nuisance: They are much more cunning than others: They pose as humans even though they have no understanding of the human heart; they eat even though they've never experienced hunger; they study even though they have no interest in academics; they seek friendship even though they do not know how to love. If I were to encounter such monsters, I would likely be eaten by them… because in truth, I am that monster."_ _ **~ Death Note**_

… **.**

The funny thing about chance is that it is a finicky thing. Chance picks and chooses who it will grant its luck too. I hated chance, especially leaving things up to chance. It was a right bastard.

A sigh escaped my lips, I was not looking forward to today. Shishou I think was well in tuned to my mood and the shake me from my thoughts, he ever so kindly dropped my ass to the ground. It's what I get for not paying attention while sparring. There was a quiet snicker off the side and I shot the boy a look.

"Distracted?" Shishou asked watching as I sat up, I rubbed my sore shoulder while nodding my head.

"Hai, sorry shishou." Because my distraction was causing his time to be wasted. The one thing worse than chance was wasted time. Shishou sighed, he placed his hand on top of my head. I glared through my eyelashes he knew I hated that. His smirk was evident of that fact as well.

"Go take a break, and take our guest with you." I nod my head at him in acceptances as I am no use at the moment as distracted as I am. A sigh escapes my lips.

"Come along Haku, let's get lunch." I have the ice user follow me around as I amble in the direction of my brother's aggravated chakra signature. Carefully I nudge the older boy.

We arrive on an irritating scene. Looks like some things were staying the same. The next second the boy with the painted face has senbon needles sticking out of his hand and the Hokage's grandson is falling to the floor. Let it be noted here that I am a chuunin only in title but have the skill of a tokubetsu jonin, so I utilize the shunshin to appear between the two Suna genin and catch the boy.

My companion stays in his spot, senbon ready between his fingers. I give my brother a quirky smile. "What do we have going on here?" Carefully I set the child onto the ground nudging him in the direction of my brother, his female teammate, and the two other children.

"Well, well, well if it isn't another Konoha genin." Of all the days to not have my chunin vest on. I only wore the damn thing if I was going out of the village. The suna male plucks the needles from his hand throwing them down on to the stone road. They make a nice clanging sound as the weapons bounce off the ground.

Let me make another note here, because I haven't ever gone into to detail of my skill. I was a fuinjutsu specialist whose teacher had been an Anbu infiltration captain, I was stronger and faster than anyone my age, and on par combat wise with many jonin. On another note, I was also a jinchuriki and the daughter of the last Uzumaki and the Yondaime Hokage. Advantages to which I always utilized.

This boy, who was at maybe a low chunin level in skill. Well he was no match for me. I'd been training with jonin level shinobi since I made genin almost five years ago. It had nothing to do with chance, or luck of the draw, I was just better.

I could sense the chakra of the last Uchiha, but I ignored him. This might have been a big entrance for him or something but it was a moot point now. He should have acted sooner. No one, and I do mean no one picked on my brother. Not even guest for the exams.

The boy with the painted face made an attempt to grab me. But I side stepped his hand with elegance only gained from experience. I'm sure I was smirking, I couldn't help it the narcissist inside me loved it.

"I'm sorry but you'll have to try harder if you actually wanted to hurt me." My voice is void of any emotion, and my eyes daring. I wanted him to try, it gave me an excuse to harm him.

The sand shinobi made another swipe at me, I ducked under his arm and pivoted around his body. My foot made quick contact to the back of his knee it gave a satisfying pop as the boy staggered. A look of realization crossed the girls face, as if it seemed to click that I was in fact not a genin.

I dodged another attack from the boy, a smirk edging its way on my face. "Why you little brat, come here." He still couldn't land a hit on me. Then at the edge of my sense I felt it. A wave of malicious chakra and I knew the one tail's host was near. I wanted to meet him.

For no other reason than he would become a great friend to my brother. Plus I think it would be an interesting story to tell the fox, he'd get a kick out of it.

My companion's eyes drifted into the direction of the demonic chakra before looking back at me. Probably to ensure that I was fine. I don't know how I got stuck with the ice user, it just sort of happened. It was probably a punishment of some kind, but honestly I kind of liked his company.

"That's enough Kankuro." The voice is cold, I can tell it sends shivers down their spines as they are both frozen in their place. I stand up straight in my spot, ready to pounce if necessary I didn't need this unstable host to attack anyone here. It wasn't a good idea.

My smirk is still in place as I watch with a satisfied expression as the red headed boy scolds his sibling's behavior. I ignore the death threats that he gives his own blood, and my smile widens when he turns his cold eyes onto me and then he gets a full blast of my killer intent. It's only aimed at him, and he gets an almost feral look.

"I'm out of your league." I let just a glimmer of the fox's dark chakra slip out, it's only a warning and I'll have to explain myself later to shishou but it's worth it. The boy doesn't even blink, so the beast has really taken over his mind. How utterly charming.

My intent vanishes, and I am giving the three a false cheery smile afterwards and make a count of the people around. Behind me there is my brother, the kids and the female of team seven, then in the tree above is the Uchiha's whose limelight I have stolen, and then in front of me are the three Suna genin.

"Who are you?" His tone is flat, his eyes narrow on me. Like I am the biggest threat here, and he is not wrong.

"Ah that's a boring questions, the better question is what are you doing in Konoha sand genin?" I know about the exams, my sempai has been whining about it for the last two months during training. However, I want to give them the chance to tell the truth regardless that I know they want.

"We are here for the chunin exams, but you already know that." The girl speaks, she gives me a pointed look to which I shrug.

"Then you should know that attacking civilians is strictly prohibited to foreign shinobi. I should report this incident." I nod my head at the ice user who has come to stand next to me, senbon still between his fingers just in case.

The older two have an uneasy look on their face. "Look let's just pretend this never happened, we're sorry." I tilt my head and give them a thoughtful look. Because truthfully I was going to let it go anyway, it's not like my brother got hurt because of them. Not yet at least, and I couldn't really fault them for things that might just not happen.

Well I could, but I was not going to this time around.

"I see no reason as to why that is a problem, consider this a warning then. Just remember I will not be so lenient next time." It's a promise, one I know will be lived up too.

"Thank you, we will go. We are sorry to have bothered you." The blonde girl says, she is the smart one among them. That much is obvious. I wave off her words, I do not care.

"Answer the question." He says, his eyes bore into me. I smirk.

"Uzumaki Mitomi, nice to meet you. And you are?" My tone is dangerous, because it is never nice to meet me. I am not nice.

"Gaara of the Desert." He gives his name in response, accepting that I am the bigger monster and then turns to walk away. His sibling follow, confused looks across their faces.

I watch them leave with a guarded expression and then turn to look up at the last Uchiha. "You should have intervened sooner." His expression is dark, he does not appreciate my tone. I do not care. Then I round my eyes to my brother and the pinkette a sigh falls from my lips. Idiots.

It was not chance that caused me to be here, and not chance that warranted my reaction. Just bad timing, it was always bad timing. I turn my eyes to Haku we share a similar thought. Finally I let out a groan.

"Ah shishou is going to kill me, we were supposed to be back ten minutes ago!" I do not give them any time to ask me questions, as I do not want to explain, and vanish from the spot. So I do not here when the girl ask my brother if we're related and I do not hear his exclamation of yes and how cool I am. Haku tells me about it later in exasperation for leaving him behind.

Shishou is giving me a look when I reappear in the training field. Like he knows that I let some of the fox's chakra out and he disapproves. I nod my head in acceptance of the scolding look, because I had known better but I just couldn't help myself.

I know for a fact that I have made an enemy today. But I do not care, it was better to have an unstable jinchuriki focused on a trained and mostly sane chunin who was also a jinchuriki versus having his focus on untrained genin.

Maybe I was unlucky.

But then again what do I know? It not like I knew the future…

Oh wait...

That's right...

I did…

But then again, I was also a liar.

 **XOXOX**

 **This chapter kind of got away from me. But you get to see that Mitomi is a little unhinged, so that's nice. Yes I know she seems like a Mary Sue, but I promise she isn't. There will be things that she is incapable of doing.**

 **She powerful because honestly, if we took a self-assured adult and stuck them into the body of a child who had the capability to use chakra and had a beast in there belly what do you think would happen? The girl has been training for years, and has had only higher ranking shinibi training her. They want her to be weapon, so a very powerful weapon she has become. Besides if we can have OP characters like Gaara and Naruto then why an OC of the same caliber couldn't be allowed? It's dumb to think that that. Mitomo and Naruto are twins, they should be capable of the same strengths. Also as you will come to find out Mitomi has some big weaknesses and they make her strong.**

 **So I apologize to anyone who doesn't like an OP OC and has a problem with how I am writing this. But I want to remind you of something. Mitomi isn't trying to hide or make herself weak she lives up to her strengths and trains through her faults all so she can be powerful enough to protect the person she loves. The desire to protect the ones we love makes us the strongest.**

 **So please let me know what you think! I love hearing from you guys!**

 **Per usual I own nothing.**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**

 **P.S. This is the longest chapter yet at a startling 1,890! Woot!**


	7. Chapter 7

**.7**

" _I was glad you did not pretend to be a saint and claim to love the world despite everything. That is why I decided that I would be your true friend. I would accept your sorrow. And I would share my joy. If you strayed I would reprimand you. If you made mistakes, I would forgive you. And when you found yourself in trouble, I would be there for you. So that you who learn to hate the world, would come to love it once more"_ _ **~ Bleach**_

… **.**

I am strong because I know that underneath it all that I am nothing. It is not true strength. True strength, well I have never been worthy of that. You see true strengths comes from something that I cannot do. Something that I will never be able to do.

You are at strongest when you have the capability to forgive. I cannot forgive, I know not how. It is not in my nature. Perhaps it never was. So I will never know true strength. But that is alright with me, because I only have to be strong enough to protect one person who never needs my forgiveness.

He has never hurt me in a way that warranted forgiveness.

Forgiveness was a hard thing, it meant that you had to let go of any hate or any ill feelings that was held in your heart. And honestly I didn't really want to part with those feelings. Why should I? The village had never forgiven me or my brother for things that we couldn't control. So why should I forgive for things that they could?

Haku's elbow resting on the top of my head rouses me from my thoughts. I look up at him through my lashes and glare. If you haven't realized by now, I am very particular about people touching my hair or my person in general. His smirk alerts me that he is aware, what a prick.

I think my attitude is rubbing off on him. That might not be a good thing. But who was I to be the judge of that.

"You are doing that thing again, when you glare at nothing." Oh I must not have controlled my face while thinking. I still needed to work on that. Shame, I thought I had gotten better at that.

While my brother was off taking the first part of the Chunin exams, and with Shishou gone as he had been called away for an obligation that he was not authorized to tell us about. I was left mostly to my own devices. Which meant wondering around the village with my charge, and thinking.

You know the normal stuff. Well normal for me a least.

"Ah, that's great. Now please remove you appendages from my person." His eyes rolled but he removed the offending limb. We continued in silence, until I was very literally run into by an angry villager. I was knocked to my ass.

The woman started to apologize but stopped mid-sentence when she seemed to realize who I was. She became a different person, her eyes cold. My eyes darkened, and my fingers dug into the stoned path drawing blood. Why? It had been over ten years since then, why couldn't they just let it go. A crowd started to gather.

It made me feel small. I tried not to let them affect me, but sometimes it was just too much. Like right now.

Haku helped me stand, he felt like the ice he manipulated. This would be the first time he'd witness the prejudice of the villagers. It also would not be the last.

"I can't believe they let both of those demons become shinobi."

"And have you heard that boy is taking the chunin exams."

"Oh no, how awful."

I bit my tongue, to keep from lashing out. The copper taste of blood filled my mouth. Their words made my blood boil, and my anger rise. Didn't they know how easily I could kill them all? Were they not aware of how much damage I could really do?

They were lucky though, because if they did not know, well they would never find out. Because of him. He is the only reason they are alive. Instead of cursing him they should be thanking him.

A hand landed on my shoulder. I looked up ready to glare at whoever it was. But my eyes stilled, what was the Jonin commander doing here? The Nara turned his intellectual eyes on them, and that's when I realized which store we were in front of, where we were.

It was the Yamanaka Flower shop, the one that Yamanak Inoichi ran in his free time. The man in mention was standing not far away with an air of disapproval and his arms crossed.

Silently the Nara led me away from the crowd into the bright building, his hand never left my shoulder. Not even when we were in the safe confines of the shop or when the blonde adult had started cleaning my bleeding hands. His pupilless eyes focused like steal, I couldn't figure out what he was thinking.

"How long?" I look up, into the dark eyes of the Nara clan head. It makes me feel even smaller.

"A long time." Their words and looks have been haunting me for a long time. Haku is very quiet, I think perhaps he is reminded of a similar time in his own life.

The Nara hums in response, a calculating look in his eyes. It makes me very uncomfortable. I turn my head back to the other man watching him as he finishes bandaging my hands. His look doesn't ease my uncertainty either.

I can't remember the last time someone other than my shishou has taken care of me. It's a hard feeling to swallow.

"You're a chunin now aren't you Mitomi-chan." It's not really a question, but I nod my head to respond anyway.

"Yes sir." The tone is meek, and I hate it. But I cannot shake this feeling of smallness. It makes me feel weak. I loathe this feeling, I wish I could disappear.

When my hands are cleaned and wrapped it is only then when the dark haired man lets go of my shoulder. I stare into my wrapped hands for a moment before giving a thankful look to the two men. I think that at one point they had been friends with my parents.

The Nara sighs. "Why don't you two accompany me back to the tower, I'm sure you want to know the results of the first exam." I nod my head mutely. Because I do want to know the results of the test. I cannot help my curiosity.

It was because of situations like this one that made it hard for me to want to forgive them. Why should I forgive them, if they could not forgive me? Why should I have to put up with this shit? If they couldn't let go of their own anger?

It wasn't my fault.

It had never been my fault.

Forgiveness worked both ways.

I wanted to hate them, it was my right.

They deserved my hatred. Even if it didn't make it right.

But I was beyond the point of caring. Or so I continued to tell myself.

At this point I should have known better. But I still wanted to believe the lies I fed myself.

It was what I was good at after all. The only thing I was good at.

 **XOXOX**

 **This chapter was a pain in my ass to write. It was rewritten a total of five different times. But I can honestly say I am happy with how it turned out.**

 **Thank you everyone who has favorited, reviewed, followed, and alerted this fic! It means so incredibly much to me to know that this thing that was made on a whim as a stress relief from the two jobs that I work has been so popular. You guys are awesome! So thank you very much!**

 **Please let me know what you think and perhaps what you would like to see happen or if your curious about anything. Just leave a comment or PM me and I'll be happy to answer any questions. Again thank you so much!**

 **As per usual I own nothing.**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	8. Chapter 8

**.8**

" _Always skillfully manipulate your pieces, that's how you survive. Use me and madam red, any piece within your reach. Even if the bodies of your pawns pile up in front of your thrown. Because if the king falls - this game is over."_ _ **~Kuroshitsuji**_

… **.**

Deception isn't a lie so much as a choice you willing make to believe. You choose to be unaware of deceit and you choose to ignore what could not possibly be true. All so you can live a blissfully ignorant life. But the biggest tragedy of deception is not when you deceive another human being but when you merely deceive yourself.

I wanted to believe that my existence didn't have a lasting impact on this universe. I believed that for twelve whole years, and then my brother brought back an alive Yuuki clan member from his mission to the land of wave. It was deception that made me believe that nothing but what I intentionally messed around with was affected by my mere presence.

I was wrong.

I did not like being wrong. I did not appreciate being deceived.

Especially by my own self.

I didn't know what to think about it. It was hard to think about it.

Shishou's hand landing on my head pulled me from my thoughts. Joy I probably had a brooding look on my face. "Worried about your brother?" His question caught me off guard, because maybe that's what this was.

Another problem of deception, is that there is always another layer underneath. And if you are looking too close you'll never see it.

I nodded my head at his words. Because I was worried about him. If memory served correctly, and it had never been wrong. My brother and his little gaggle of friends would go through the ringer in the forest. It made my blood boil, to think that the Snake sannin was so close to my brother.

Do not confuse this with fear. I was not afraid of that slithering demon, fear did not make me bones ache like this. No this was a feeling of uselessness. I couldn't help my brother with this, but if I didn't stop that boy from leaving. Well it wouldn't end well.

My stupid idiotic, optimistic, loyalist brother loved that damn Uchiha like a brother. And allowing him to leave the village would hurt my brother more than I ever wanted to see. Yes there were somethings that I could not help, and then there were things I looked head on straight in their face and told them to screw it.

What was cannon when you were a girl who should have never existed and the only person you'd claim openly as a friend was a dead man walking? I still didn't know. But this was my life and I was going to live it however I damn well pleased.

I must have been unresponsive because shishou is ruffling my hair. He knows I hate that. My eyes flutter to look up at him, I don't glare. Is he smiling?

"You worry too much. I'm sure your brother will be fine." Another nod. I sure hope so. But unfortunately I knew better.

I always knew better.

The problem was, that I wanted to keep believing that everything would be fine. Even when I knew it wouldn't. That is what deception is. It twist you mind, so that even when you know up should be up and down should be down you still want up to be down and down to be up.

Deception was a right bastard.

I was left alone to my thoughts. Shishou had only stopped by to check on me and let me know that he was leaving on another mission and taking Haku. So I really was alone. I don't know if I was comfortable with that.

Contrary to popular belief I didn't always like to be by myself. The quiet consumed me and I was reminded of how empty life was without those precious to me. It also left me to repressed thoughts of a life I had once lived.

A life filled by deceit. It was a life that I did not want to think about.

It reminded me of the simple truth.

People did not change.

People could not change.

But most importantly, it was a life full of regrets, memories of things left behind.

I did not want that from this life.

Life would not deceive me here. I would not let it.

There was a puff of smoke, and a body appearing before me that stopped me in my tracks. I gave the man curious eyes, and received a single eye smile. "Hello Mitomi-chan." I'm sure my brow is raised. He had never called me by my full name.

"Hatake-san." He's not my teacher. If you are wondering why I don't call him by his more popular tag.

The silver haired man ruffled the top of my hair. Why did they keep doing this to me? I didn't understand why this was a popular tactic. Surely they all knew how much I didn't like this, and how uncomfortable it made me.

"Mah, my kouhai's cute little student how would you like to come wait with me for the results of the second exam?" What is going on? My hands move in the standard Anbu signs, eye alert. His tone is wrong, he's tense. Something has happened.

His eye twitches in amusement, probably at how perceptive I was. "Of course Hatake-san, I'm curious to see how my brother and his team are doing." I watch for the subtle hand signs, and nod my head when I get a response to my silent question.

When we are out of the crowded village street and in what I will label the Jonin longue at the Tower and only then does the sole Hatake man take me to the side. "There has been a breach in security, your shishou, teammate and a few others have gone to investigate." So the sannin had made his slimy appearance.

Slowly I nod my head at his words. Playing the part of a concerned chunin well. "A breach? Is that was that huge wave a slithering chakra was earlier?" I watch as his whole body tensed up. His visible eye narrowed on me.

"You could feel it?" It was so potent that even from my position miles away from Training Ground Forty-four I could feel it. It also helped that I had been looking for it. I nod my head again.

"It was suffocating, kind of like when a large snake is crushing your lungs before devouring its meal." My tone was panicked as if the feeling of that chakra had scared me, it's a perfect performance. If they hadn't pieced together that the Snake sannin was here then maybe that would push them in the right direction.

He sighs, it's forced. I can see the edges of a different mask pulling over his face. I noticed the deception of someone trying to calm a child. That kind of act was always so clear to me, it was the first mask that I ever learned how to put on.

I watch with concealed satisfaction as my brother's teacher makes subtle hand signs to another jonin in the room. Good, maybe they'd be more prepared to deal with the snake sannin this time around.

I was a lair, so deception and mass manipulation had always come to me like second nature.

It was easy to deceive when your deception were based out of truth and facts.

You couldn't trick truths and facts, they didn't bend to your will. Manipulating them was another story all together.

The best deception, the deception that gets you the results that you desire. That deception is the one no one sees coming. It is the one where no one realizes that they have even been deceived.

That deception, that perfect art of manipulation?

Well it was when the person doing the deceiving believed the deception themselves. Whole heartedly as the truth.

It was not easy to deceive other without first deceiving yourself.

The best deceptions after all are those based out of facts that you already believe to be true.

Facts, like people, do not change.

The fact?

I was a lair.

Or I was deceiving myself. It didn't matter.

 **XOXOX**

 **Sorry about how long this took! I have been super busy with work, I work two jobs so I didn't have much time to write the last few days.**

 **Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and favorited this story! Your guys are awesome! And this wouldn't be possible without you!**

 **Please let me know what you all think! I cannot wait to hear from you!**

 **On another note please forgive any misspellings of characters names or clan names. It might have been typo, it might be the fact that I wasn't sure or a billion other things. Do let me know about it, but don't find any offense in it okay?**

 **I'm trying my best! : )**

 **I hope you all have a great and lovely day!**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	9. Chapter 9

**.9**

" _Whose fault is it that things ended up like this? Coincidence? An accident? Fate? There's no such thing as fate. It's simply a combination of one circumstance and the next. And who is it that creates those circumstances? Who is it? It's you."_ **~ Tokyo Ghoul**

… **.**

Patience was a trait I would never master. It had evaded me in my last life and it seemed like it would continue to do so in this life. I never liked waiting, when you had to wait you had to worry.

Worrying was something that I did frequently. I worried about almost everything. Planned to the tee because I hated worrying over my plans. I needed to be sure that everything would work according to how I wanted them too.

It is why I was such a good manipulator, it is why I had become a liar. I needed people to believe that I wasn't a threat. People didn't need to worry about me.

Now was a time that my patience was being tested.

Shishou was hurt.

If you were paying attention you will remember that he and Haku went on a recon mission to gather information about a breach in our security. That was a month ago. And while my teammate had come back in relatively alright shape. My shishou had not and had been on the verge of death.

Not to mention that they tried to hide that information from me so I could assist with sealing the last Uchiha's curse mark. At this point you are also probably wondering why I haven't interacted a lot with my brother. I think I've told you already that it was coming but first you needed to understand a few things.

I only cared about three people. My brother, my shishou, and my teammate. Two of those three people were fine. At this point I couldn't do nothing for either of them.

So I worried over my teacher. Because I had to wait, for the results, for him to get better. I needed him to be alright. He had been the first. Making cracks in my shell.

My shishou had to live. Because I knew he was supposed to help my brother become better, because I needed him to live.

I adjusted my legs to sit more comfortably on the edge of the bed. Haku stood over me I could feel the concern coming from his eyes and I promptly ignored him staring down into the apple he had brought me. Maybe I needed to eat.

I couldn't think straight. Because I had been reminded of the mortality of the ones I cared about. For so long they had just been pawns, characters to manipulate to my will. But for some reason, somewhere along this road I had started to care for them.

It made things difficult. Caring was a disadvantage that I couldn't escape.

Caring would bring me nothing but pain. I knew it. But I found myself in a state of indifference. It wasn't a good place to be in.

One thing was certain, I needed to reevaluate my plans…

.

The man, the one she will never call by name, is unnerved by the girl. She is a small thing. Barely eight years old but her eyes are ancient. It isn't her eyes though that unnerve him. It is the silence that surrounds her. He wonders sometimes if she is even a child at all.

He is no fool to the looks the sort-of-child gets either. She for the most part seems to ignore them. It makes him questions if she has feelings at all. It wasn't what he expected when they informed him that one of the jinchuriki's would be his student.

She always seems to be doing that to him. Destroying his expectations. After while he had stopped expecting things from her.

Uzumaki Mitomi always surprised him.

Even now as a twelve year old should be Tokubetsu Jonin. The little girl with the long red head was sitting at the foot of his hospital bed pealing an apple. She was scowling at the fruit as if it had offended her somehow. And he knows by the look in her eye that she is lost in some distant thought.

The other charge he had gained in the last six months was standing over the girl giving her a concerned look. Slowly, groggily, his body still rattled with the displaced feeling of being under, he brought himself up to a sitting position. It was his movement that brought her back. She glared up at the boy before turning her sharp eyes onto him.

"Shishou." Her tone is different, he can tell by just the use of his title that she was worried. Briefly he thinks that is probably not a good place of mind for her to be in. The girl worried was a dangerous thing.

"What did the apple do to you?" He asked after a moment as if to break the tension in the air and to test his voice. At least to clear the sleep from his lungs. Ignoring the question that lingers in the back of his mind of how did either one of them even get into this high security recovery room. She made a face at him before looking at the mauled fruit in her hands.

"I was contemplating mortality." Well at least it wasn't her own existence this time. He nodded his head with a slight wince. Yes it still hurt to move.

"Ah." And accepted her answer as if it was a perfectly acceptable reason to maul a fruit. With her it was.

Silence overwhelmed them after that. It was a state of being he was used to at this point. The girl had never really had much to say. Opposed to her brother, that kid didn't know how to shut up. To think he had only ever had to watch the boy from the distance. It was no wonder she never said much. He laid his head back into the pillow and sighed.

That man was back. "You did your best Shishou." Her voice is frail, she knows the truth. He shakes his head at her words. That wasn't his best. Perhaps they both know that though.

"Has he made an appearance yet?" She bites her lip before nodding. He thinks in that moment she actually reminds him of a small child. Maybe she has always been one.

"Yeah, he disrupted the second half of the chunin exams and placed a curse mark on the last Uchiha." He doesn't ask how she came upon that. It sounded like it was supposed to be classified.

The boy taps her shoulder, taking her eyes from him. He can tell by their looks that there is something he is missing. Something that neither want to tell him. His mask slips, and he frowns at the two. It isn't the wised eyed little girl who answers his look, but the boy.

"There is going to be an attack." He doesn't ask how they have come to this conclusion, but nods his head in response. That sounded about right.

"Yes I would imagine so." His tone is dry. He watches the girl closely, there is a knowing look in her eye. A look he has always grown accustom too.

"Shishou?" Her tone questioning, she's twirling a stand of hair through her fingers. It's a perfected act.

He looks between the two children, contemplating. What were they going to do? Finally he let out a breath. "We wait." It is the only thing they can do.

The waiting game, it was the worst game for a ninja.

An idle ninja was a terrible thing.

Just like a worried jinchuriki who had the bad habit of making plans.

 **XOXOX**

 **Oh my gosh! I am so sorry about how long this took. Life has been crazy.**

 **This chapter is a little bit different in the fact that it is a mix between Mitomi's first person and Tenzo/Yamato's third person narrative. I have decided that when I want something to be in another characters perspective it will be in third person. That way not to confuse anyone and to highlight the first person narrative.**

 **Also there was a time skip between this chapter and the last. It's been a month. If it wasn't clear Tenzo/Yamato was in a coma during that time. He might have had a personal run in with his old tormentor that will be addressed in much more detail much later. It is vague for a reason.**

 **Isn't Mitomi just a bright ray of sunshine? Yeah? Not really.**

 **But can you see the change? The tides have shifted and I cannot wait to write the next part. I hope you guys enjoyed it! Please let me know what you think, if you like it, what you would like to see, ecc..**

 **Thank you so much for taking time to read this story you guys are awesome!**

 **Also thank you to every review, favorite, follow, and alert this story has gotten! Hearing from you guys is what makes this possible!**

 **I hope you all have a wonderful day!**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	10. Chapter 10

**.10**

" _Perhaps this is what I have always wished for since that day. The loss and destruction of all. That's right, one must destroy before creating. In that case, if my conscience becomes a hindrance to me, then I will simply erase it. I have no other choice but to move forward...therefore!"_ **~Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion**

…

The truth didn't change.

Facts do not change.

Destiny wasn't a straight path.

These were things that I needed to believe, things that gave my existence meaning.

What good was future knowledge if you couldn't use it?

I wanted to watch the village burn, I wanted them to feel my pain. That was my truth. But, that was only a part of the truth. A very small insignificant part. It was easily ignored.

Because the most important truth, was the fact that I wanted my brother to be happy. I would never give into my own selfish truths if it would compromise my brother's happiness. I could never let that happen.

The funny thing about truth, is that it is a surprising concept. The truth was constantly surprising me. I think that perhaps it liked to see me suffer.

The imposter.

The liar.

A girl, who should have died.

Her, who should have never existed.

It was a fickle thing, the truth.

Some wanted you to know all, to have unlimited access to the truth. Others, well they wanted to watch the world burn.

What was always the most interesting to me though? About truth. Well, it always came with a price. That price, usually wasn't worth the pain and the devastation that it would ultimately reap.

Nothing had ever been free, truth always came with a price. That price for me? Knowledge of a future I didn't know if I could change or not. A future filled by pain.

Perhaps I was being pessimistic again. But these were the facts.

Facts do not change. They do not account for change.

For example. Even with my existence, the Toad Sage, seal master, and sannin was still apparently our godfather. Which also bring me to the reason for my recent thoughts of truth. My brother had dragged me along with him to meet the sannin who was supposed to be helping him prepared for the third exam.

I hadn't really seen the man do much yet. But I was a cynic.

"The old man told me you are aware of the truth." Of your parents. Words the white haired sannin does not say. I arch my brow up at him in question. What has brought this along?

Naruto is far enough away and working on his summons that he cannot over hear this conversation. I know his hearing range better than most.

"I trained him you know, he was a smart kid. You kind of remind me of him a bit." There is no doubt of who that him is. I am surprised by the comparison though. I did not think myself similar to the parents I never got to meet.

The Yondaime Hokage had been a selfless man. He gave his life to protect the village he had loved. I would never be capable of that. I was a selfish being, who loved and hated life. I who was constantly being haunted by truth.

I stayed quiet, waiting to see if the sannin would continue. He was giving me an appraising look, searching for a reaction that I would not grant him the satisfaction of receiving. The quiet was a welcoming thing, silence tended to surround me like a warm blanket.

It protected me from having to face the truth.

He sighed. "You look like her though." I nodded my head at that, I had seen pictures. I knew I favored the previous jinchuriki and my mother more than I had the Yondaime. My brother was an almost replica of the Fourth Hokage.

It had amazed me that people just ignored it. Honestly they were all so stupid.

"I have been told you know fuinjutsu." I look up at the man in a manner that said 'and?'. He shakes his head at me as if I am some kind of annoyance. I am not bothered by this. Because I do not need this man's attention on me.

I had no desire to get close to him. He was going to hurt my brother. His death would destroy my brother. It realistically was something that I would not yet be able to change. So I needed to keep my distance.

I knew that I could not save every important person to my brother. It was foolish to think that was possible. I was not a fool.

"I have to meet my shishou for training, will you let Naruto know?" He nods his head, I shoot one last look over to my brother before leaving. That idiot.

I don't know what to do about the toad sage. In all honestly I haven't yet figured out what I am even going to do about the snake. I know that one needs to be save and the other needs death. Unfortunately I do not know how to go about it.

It was something to think about. It was also annoying. Because I didn't have time for that right now. There were other things that needed to be accounted for.

Time was a truth that I could not control. It told all. The passing of time, was the ruin of the universe. It pillaged, destroyed, and concurred everything so it could start the cycle all over again.

I hated this truth more than the others. This was a truth that I could not stop. For I could not control time.

Time would tell all.

My lies would be brought into the light.

And I would lose everything, all over again.

Or maybe I would nothing at all.

Who knows?

Time was the biggest deceiver of us all. And it would continue so, long after we were gone. That was the untainted truth. A truth you can choose not to believe. A truth that would devourer everything.

I wanted to change, I wanted the things around me to change. Time was my enemy here. Nothing else could go according cannon, everything had to change. Time had to change.

I was going to change it. I had to change it.

I would protect my brother, and the ones he loves.

The truth, the one I wanted to ignore was not time. It was a fact. A simple one. But to do what I wanted, for the best outcome, the one with the least amount of loss.

It would the hardest thing I will ever do. It would go against everything I had ever believed. It would cost me everything. There was always a price, and I was going to have to be willing to pay.

Because that things that I had to do. The fact that I believed wholehearted to be true I was going to turn my back on.

People were incapable of change. I believed this with my whole being. A truth of the universe. No, a deception created by the weak.

I had to change. I had to be better, stronger, and smarter.

Time was my enemy, and to change time first I had to change myself.

I could no longer be the liar. I needed the truth to succeed. I had to succeed.

Which meant I also had to own up to my own desires.

I had always talked a big game about not caring what they thought of me. But that was nothing but a lie. A lie I told to protect myself.

Because truth? It hurt, it always had.

The truth was…

I wanted almost more than anything, just to be seen. Not as Naruto's sister, or the demon child.

I wanted them to see that I was a person. That there words could hurt me.

What I wanted, was for them to see Uzumaki Mitomi. A konouchi of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Someone who wanted to protect them.

I lied more to myself than anyone else.

That truth, was the truth that haunted me the most.

 **XOXOX**

 **OMG! Two chapters in one day! I am so excited you guys and so happy with how this chapter turned out.**

 **Please let me know what you guys think!**

 **Also to clear the air a little bit.**

 **Yamato is Mitomi's Shishou, Genma is her sempai. I know I don't use the cannon character's name a lot in the last chapters and there is a reason for it. That is about to change. As Mitomi grows past seeing them just as character to manipulate you will notice the use of names more.**

 **Except with Yamato. She will never say his name. There is a reason for it and it will be revealed at a later time.**

 **Alright thank you so much for reading I hope you all have a lovely evening!**

 **You guys are awesome!**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	11. Chapter 11

**.11**

" _I thought I was going to bring peace. I thought that I could bring it about myself, but really I was just acting like a spoiled child with a new toy." ~ **Aldnoah Zero**_

 **...**

Before I say anything else, before I allowed this to go any further I want to say one thing. I want you to know one thing.

Knowing the future, and wanting to change it had made me a very cold person. Because everything I had ever done, it has always been to try to fix the things that I could and could not control. It also made everything that happened to me, a big huge mess in my mind that got tangled up beyond repair.

Now we can begin.

I probably needed to apologize for what happened next. Lord knows I owe you all one. Especially since everything that followed, everything that would come after this, it was such a major destruction of what you know to have been cannon. Of what cannon should have been.

But, I am not going too.

Regardless of the fact that I probably needed too.

For the simple reasonthat I truly did not care.

Everything that I did. Every last little thing, it all had purpose. At least I needed to believe that it had purpose. So I will not be apologizing for things that I believed needed to be done. Things that should have happened in the first place.

The Third deserved to live. On the sole basses that he had been kind to us and if able I knew he would continue to do so. Oorochimaru on the other had done nothing but harm the ones I love, and in a future I didn't want to see would continue to hurt those closest to me. That being said, I knew that no matter, I was not able to stop him. Not yet.

However I could save the Third that much I was sure of. I also knew that this was a good opportunity to kill the Sannin's the favored apprenticed.

So I did.

Well sort of. I paralyzed the medic and placed a special seal on him. So this way T&I could stick their claws into the informant. What did you expect from me? He was a threat to my brother, so I eliminated him. Honestly I am not nice.

I was many things, a lair, a cynic, a narcissist, the list goes on. Nice had never been one. It was just who I was, this is how I had always been. So don't think you will find any bit of sympathy or kindness here. That just was not me.

But I do digress. I was doing that a lot lately.

Do forgive me.

To be frank, I never needed your forgiveness. Not for the things that were done. Because what I did was necessary. Like almost everything else I had ever done, everything up until this point, it had all been done with purpose.

I bet you are probably want the details of what actually happened. Right? And perhaps, just maybe I do owe some form of explanation. At least to explain why I won't be apologizing for my actions. Looking back, on it, of what it clear at least, the memory of it is a bit hazy. It is a funny story.

The morning of the Finale exam, had for all intents and purposes started like a normal day for me. I did wake up feeling more uneasy about the day than usual but as per always I assured myself that everything would be fine. But I knew the truth. It was a lie.

For the most part up until the invasion itself the day ran all according to cannon and just like a regular day. There was still early morning team training with Shishou and Haku. And then people watching, for the better half of the morning until the exam would actually begin. After that I made my way to the stadium with my shadow who had followed me around the village for most of the morning.

Haku was worried about me, I couldn't figure out why. But ever since the incident in the market, the one in front of the flower shop. If he could get away with it that is. The ice user was following me around like an overprotected ghost. I'd hate to be the idiot who tried to come between us.

Naruto fought first, it went exactly as should. It was among the very few things other than the fights that would be going right today. Let me rephrase that, everything following up to the start of the invasion, including the fight between the last Uchiha and the Sand jinchuriki would go according to the standards set by cannon.

I had smothered my feelings of unease up until that point. When that fight started, it fell over me like a dark cloud. And even though Haku and I had not been teammates long I knew he could tell. His eyes locked with mine as I received a very typical concerned look from the brunette.

His hands told me a different story, especially the one that had drifted down towards the weapons pouch. Because he knew, just like my shishou, that something was going down today and he needed to be ready. They had after all had a personal run in with the snake sannin.

I just had future knowledge, knowledge I couldn't share. Lucky me.

Slowly, deliberately, I rested my hand on his knee. Twisting my body towards him and letting my long hair fall down covering the view of my hand to any one lookers. Then the soft, soothing taps of my fingers lolled quietly on the fabric covered surface.

The tapping specific, a code created by shishou for us. Even if they could see, it still would not make any sense to anyone else. But I was paranoid. It was a part of the description for being a ninja.

His free hand rested on my shoulder, his fingers hidden under my hair (I had a lot of it) and he leaned forward. To any on looker it would look like two people laughing, and commentating the fight down below. We knew better. I shook my head to keep up appearance and tapped a reply to the unspoken question before glancing behind us to glance at the agent I knew was a fake.

The taps we're small bits of chakra, how they were applied sent certain messages to different areas of the brain. One of those messages was to cancel the genjutsu that had been trying to take hold for several minutes now. I wanted to laugh at the measly attempts, but I refrained.

They would have to try harder than that.

You will noticed a divergence from here on out. This is where everything begins to change. I promise it is all for the better. It was something you were going to have to take my word for. You were going to have to trust me. Ha! It was some kind of bad joke.

Remember, I was still a liar.

Somethings were harder than others to change.

At the moment when the fighting finally breaks out, Haku and I who had been mostly unaffected by the genjutsu compared to some of the others. We are out of our seats with barely a blink and we both head in different directions. I immediately head towards the agent who has finally revealed himself to be a traitor to match blades and wits with him. Haku flanks the silver haired Jonin sensei of team seven, and within seconds of the fight breaking out we are both engaged in combat with enemy shinobi.

Here is a good time to make an important observations. Or a reminder of sorts.

I had every intention to kill the man before me.

And for the most part I did.

Kabuto could not be allowed to continue. He could not live past this. I am certain that this fact has indeed already been mentioned, but I figured a friendly reminder would be nice. Just so you are aware exactly where I stand on the matter.

Another reason for this, is the fact that I will not be going into much detail over this endeavor. I do not need to explain my actions to you, nor do I have to tell you how it happened. All you need to know, and I know it's vague, but somewhere between the beginning and the end of the invasion Kabuto died.

Now since that is taken care of.

While I am still in the midst of my battle with the medic, Kakashi gives the order for my brother, the Nara heir, and the pinkette to go after the last Uchiha and the sand genin. Haku, bless him, was following my instructions from a much early goes after the genin and the dog to give them some much needed backup. But that was only after the silver snake managed to order his men to follow them.

That had not flown well with me.

I think another reminder is necessary here. We've strayed from it just a bit, and I think now is a good time to remind you of why any of this was even happening.

My brother, my sweet, kind, idiotic brother, he was still my first and foremost concern. Naruto would always be priority number one when it came too. Everything else, everyone else, they all came second.

Sometime after that, it hasn't been long, I land the defining blow on the medic. And after placing a binding seal on him I begin to walk away, that had taken longer than it needed to and I had much more important things to worry about. It is only then when I am spoken too.

"I am surprised you did not follow them." My mind registers Kakashi's voice, but I am too distracted by the magnitude of what I have just done and of the things that still have yet to do to respond or acknowledge that he has even spoken to me.

I am already moving to my next task when my mind finally shifts through the fog. One barely alive and thoroughly restrained iryonin was not my biggest issue right this moment.

The barriers have just gone up. Which meant I was running out of time. I needed to act fast.

I could not allow the sannin to summon them, not if I wanted a good chance to save the Third. Those two could not reenter the world of the living. Not today.

Realistically I could not help the Third well if I had to worry about those two, they were on a completely different level than me. I didn't want to try to face two Kage level shinobi. Not yet, and most defiantly not today.

Earlier i think that perhaps I might have mentioned that I don't have solid memories of everything that happened today. This is where they start to get hazy. Everything after this point, all of it is mostly a blur. Colored by a red haze, but a blur regardless. So in lite of actually story telling I am just going to state the facts, things that I know for certain happened.

If you need more detail than that, than you are out of luck. I can't give you detail on things I hardly remember at this point.

It wouldn't be fair, to any of us.

The facts were simple. They usually were.

Number one. I dealt a mortally crippling blow to the silver haired snake.

Next. Neither the first Hokage nor the second Hokage were successfully summoned. By the skin of my teeth at that too.

Lastly. I have been told, and I knew that it was true, I had to use five of the nine tails to even stand a chance in hell against the likes of Oorochimaru. It required that much of the fox's chakra to even be helpful.

The sannin were out of my league. Even fighting Kabuto had been somewhat of a challenge and I'd like to think that we were at least on the same level.

Using that much of his chakra, it's the reason everything is so hazy. Because if I'm being honest, and I don't know if I am completely. But I may or may not have let the beast have control. We had a working relationship.

Not yet too the level my brother whould one day achieve with the fox, but the beast wasn't trying to take over my body or kill me so that was a plus.

Secretly, I kind of liked him. His company was interesting at least.

Anyway. Oorochimaru was in the wind. Kabuto was in a highly secured cell in T&I and my brother had let the sand trio go. So some things were kind of the same.

Well, maybe not.

The Third was alive, barely, but alive nonetheless. And that was all that mattered. I had achieved what I wanted from this day.

As for myself. Well I was a little worse for wear. I was alive, and that was great. But the only reason I wasn't injured that badly, or you know dead was because of the Fox. He had kept me safe-ish. I owed him.

However I did finally get the ranking of Tokubetsu Jonin so that was an upside to my hazy memories and almost dying. Even if I didn't remember that part.

Oh well.

There were bigger fish to fry now.

Now I had the daunting task of trying to keep that boy in the village.

And you know the coming arrival of them.

I was going to have to compromise on things, I could already see it coming.

I hated compromising.

That was the problem, in knowing the future. Because there were somethings that a single person would never be able to change on their own. Which is where compromise came in hand.

Also they were alone.

I was alone.

No one could know of the knowledge that I held, it was dangerous. Especially as long as that man still breathed.

I hated that man.

 **XOXOX**

 **Oh! My! Gosh! This chapter took absolultly forever to do. It had to be rewritten so many times, and I don't know if I am even happy with this outcome of it. But I owe you guys a chapter and I am happy enough with this so here you go!**

 **I cannot write fight scenes very well which actually is the main reason why they have been cut from this story. Also every time I tried to write Mitomi's interaction with Oorochimaru it just felt wrong so this was kind of a compromise.**

 **If you noticed she's talking about Kurama more, it will be important to remember this for later.**

 **You guys are awesome! For reading this, so I just want to make a shout out to every one who has, favorited, reviewed, followed, alerted and anything else to this story! This would not be possible without your continued support, you guys are truly amazing! I am so thankful that you like this sad little piece of fiction and I am so glad that you have all taken your time to read it!**

 **Thank you so much!**

 **Please let me know what you think! Or what you want to see happen! I am always open to suggestions.**

 **Thank you for reading!**

 **I apologize for any grammer mistakes, or anything that seems funky. This has not been proof-read and I may or may not get a chance to go back to do so. So please forgive any of the mistakes.**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	12. Chapter 12

**.12**

" _The power of one man doesn't amount to much. But, however little strength I'm capable of… I'll do everything humanly possible to protect the people I love, and in turn they'll protect the ones they love. It seems like the least we tiny humans can do for each other."_ **~Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood**

… **.**

He had never really understood her. Sure he knew more about her than most, and spent more time with her then anyone else. They were twins after all. But he didn't really understand her, at least he hadn't thought he did. Not until now.

She looked very peaceful while sleeping. This actually might be the most at ease he has ever seen her look. Sort of like a fallen angel or something.

He honestly never thought she would be capable of something like this. For as long as he had remembered that unless it came to him she had never been able to put self behind. Especially with how much she had hated them.

He had never been as dense as they believed him to be. Not when it came to her. He knew her better than himself sometimes. Knowing was however not the same as understanding.

She had always kept her distance from the others there age, had kept her distance from most everyone for that matter. His sister had never been as outgoing as him, she had never sought their attention or praise. Mitomi hadn't ever needed it.

He knew better.

The hurtful words, of monster, demon, and killer had always affected her deeper. Their distrustful looks, and sneers had never helped either.

He could see the damage it did. Watched helplessly as her eyes became cold as the distain settled in. She hated them, and he knew that the only reason she never acted on those feelings was because of him.

Naruto wasn't so much of an idiot that he would be able to ignore his sister's pain.

He wanted her to be happy.

And he had always known that it would be up to him to make sure she was.

He would never know that she felt the same way about him.

A hand landed on his head, ruffling the fluffy yellow hair and pulling him from his thoughts. "She's going to be fine." He smiled at his sensei and nodded his head.

"Yah I know, Mimi is awesome! Nothing keeps her down." And if to prove his point she began to stir, groaning as her eyes opened.

She turned to look at him, groaning again with the movement. He smiled at her.

"Welcome back." She grunted in response while moving to sit up.

"Ugh, why do I feel like I got hit by a merchant cart?" He wiggled a bit uncomfortably in his seat, was he supposed to tell her?

"You used a lot of its chakra." He whipped his head up to the new voice, there was a man sitting in the window giving his sister a disapproving look. She raised her brow at the man.

"Oh, is that all?" He watched as the man stared her down with an unamused look, this must be her teacher.

He had never met her teacher, there really had never been a need for it. But from how she had described him once this man kind of seemed like he would fit that description.

"You also thought it would be a good idea to try and take on Oorochimaru." Kakashi-sensei piped up from where he was standing behind the blonde.

He watched for her reaction and wanted to let out a yell of exasperation when all she did was shrug. Because what had she been thinking? Didn't she know what a danger that man was? What he had done to the teme?

"How is the Third?" The question wasn't asked to anyone of them particular but he bit his lip.

"Alive, for now." He watched as she nodded her head at the answer before her eyes turned to look into him. Naruto just blinked at her.

"What?" Eyes narrowed at him.

"Do not give me that. The sand genin?" His eyes widened, he knew what she was getting out.

"I let them go, they never wanted this." She nodded her head at his words a thoughtful look on her face.

"The Kazekage was there father, Oorochimaru killed him." His fist clenched around the fabric of his pants. It all boiled back down to that man.

"What happened in your fight with the sannin?" His sensei questioned after a moment of silence passed between them. He watched as she looked up to the ceiling, an almost confused expression across her face. Then she shrugged again.

"I am not sure, almost everything is after my fight with the sound infiltrator is." The silver haired jonin nodded his head.

"If you remember anything." He watched the exchange with a concerned look. She wasn't in trouble right?

"I will let you or shishou know, has T&I gotten anything out of him?" Kakashi-sensei shakes his head at her questions and she frowns.

"We should probably be going Naruto, Tomi-chan needs to rest. Her shishou will keep an eye on her." The other man nodded his head in confirmation.

He stood from the chair, and gave his sister a bright smile. "Don't you worry Mimi about anything, I'm going to get stronger so I can protect everyone. Believe it!" Including you, so you don't ever have to be like this again. Words he keeps to himself. She smiles back, it's faint, but genuine.

"Don't be so arrogant." She scolds him, he just continues to smile at her.

Maybe it was arrogance.

But he couldn't help it.

All he ever wanted was for his precious people to be safe. He wanted to protect them, all of them. No matter the cost.

He did not know if he had ever truly understood her before this, but looking at her now, he knew that he did. They had always wanted the same thing, to protect their important people. She just didn't have as many as him. Not yet at least.

But he was sure, whether she knew it or not, that one day she would.

So until then, he would continue to be there for her. She needed him, like he needed her. He loved his sister more than anything and he wanted her to be happy.

That much he was certain of.

That much he understood.

He knew it to be true.

 **XOXOX**

 **Here is a short chapter for you guys! All in the perspective of Naruto. I hope I wrote him well enough. Please let me know how to improve writing the cannon characters, I don't want to write them too OOC.**

 **Thank you so much for reading this!**

 **You guys are awesome!**

 **Please let me know what you guys think and what you would like to see!**

 **I don't know how much farther I would have written without you all. So thank you so incredibly much for all the love you have given this story! Thank you for all the reviews, favorites, alerts, and follows. This wouldn't be possible without you!**

 **As per usual I own nothing, I only claim Mitomi as my own!**

 **I hope you all have a great day!**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	13. Chapter 13

**.13**

" _That's just the way it is. Change is inevitable. Instead of resisting it, you're better served simple going with the flow."_ _ **~Bleach**_

… **.**

I blinked.

That's what it feels at least. I blinked and all this time just passed. The truth was that I hadn't been paying attention, and I hadn't realized how short of a time I actually had. I would have prepared better if I had.

They had come. They were here for my brother. Or me. I couldn't be too certain of either.

But could I face them like this?

Not yet fully recovered. Weak.

No, now was not the time. I knew better. At least I told myself I did.

So I wondered how I had ended up in the middle of it anyway. Maybe it was bad luck. Or karma, or both. Now that I think about it, it was most defiantly both. I should have just stayed home or gone to get dango later.

Much later.

I should have known.

So you can't blame me when my eyes locked with the Uchiha and I sort of just stared blankly at him. He wasn't really that much different than how I had remembered him from the series or my actual memories. I will not be blamed for the accidental slip of his name, I will forever blame it on shock at seeing them being so casual in the tea house and that is that.

And maybe the fact that I was still recovering from chakra exhaustion. My brain had not wanted to be up to fully functioning yet. So it seemed.

"Itachi?" His eyes narrowed at me, and maybe I should have been afraid but I really wasn't. This was the boy who had stopped villagers from attacking me, who had taken time to talk to me when he waited for his little brother at the academy. He had been kind to me.

And of course I also knew his truth. I knew that he had never wanted it to be like this. He had never wanted to be hated for a crime he was ordered to commit. We were kindred spirits in the fact we both only wanted what was best for our brothers and that we would both do whatever that entailed. Even if it made us the bad guy.

I just hadn't reached that extreme. Yet.

Maybe I would be luckier than my kindred spirit.

Or perhaps I wouldn't.

Who knows?

He shakes his head, like he wishes I hadn't said anything. I wish I hadn't either. His hand in on my shoulder suddenly and I know I need to comply with what is about to happen. "Who's this?" The other man questions when he approaches us.

I guess the elder Uchiha hadn't deemed it important to answer. But he leads us out of the tea house, just as I see Sasuke approach Kakashi who has been standing outside this whole time. I wonder if the silver haired jonin even realized I was here.

Probably not, I had entered the building before he had arrived but after those two had entered apparently.

When we are far enough away from the tea house, and coincidently civilians the dark hair man releases my shoulder and squats down to my level. There is a searching look in his cold obsidian eyes. "To think you are a chunin now." I cannot help the desire to smirk at this, I don't. It had been a good choice to where the old chunin vest this morning instead of my newer vest from my promotion.

I think I give the man a bitter smile instead though.

His look tells me that he understands. A sigh escapes his lips as he stands, he turns to look over his shoulder. "It's been a long time Asuma, Kurenai." I look follow his gaze as well looking at the two other sensei of the rookie teams. He has me shielded from their view, so I'm very aware of the fact that neither see me.

"What are you doing here!?"

"That is not really your concern." I sigh rather obnoxiously, man I could be home right now, or training, or something other than having to watch this pissing match.

Well the pissing match it would turn into.

The Uchiha gave me a look, I folded my arms across my chest and ignored him. I was so over this now. My brother was leaving today and I didn't know if I was going to be able to see him before he goes.

Which was irritating.

I was pushed behind fishface as he made a lunge for the Sarutobi heir. They were both distracted I defiantly could run away if I wanted. But there was some part of me that wanted to see how all this played out.

Besides I still hadn't figured out if they knew about me or not. Itachi did not count.

So I had made my choice.

I was still an observer through and through.

Before Itachi lured the genjutsu mistress out on the water he grabbed me. By the back of my vest nonetheless, so there really wasn't any getting away at this point.

How annoying.

"Let her go." Oh, how nice of you to finally join us Kakashi. I thought rather sarcastically giving him a blank look.

If ask later I could just say he placed me under a powerful genjutsu, or some bullshit like that.

It was a convenient lie.

Though I will be honest, I wasn't particularly fond of being manhandled like this. But I needed answers. Also I think wanted to do something dangerous.

That sounded about right to me.

I had been on a roll lately.

Of doing dangerous or stupid things, I mean.

The fight went exactly as scripted. Everything down to the silver haired jonin getting trapped by sharringan bullshit and the green beast showing up. The only thing that was different was the fact that I was there.

And when they made their escape, I was thrown over the blue skinned ex Kiri-nin's shoulder. I think I surprised the tailless tailed beast by not flailing or resisting being taken. But I really didn't see a point in doing that.

It wasn't until they were far enough away from the village was I put down, rather roughly mind you. I grunted my protest at being dropped on my ass and rubbed my sore shoulder. Remember I was still technically recovering from my injuries, I had fought a sannin and lived.

Which is another good excuse as to why I didn't try to do anything, I know my own limitations. Thank you very much.

"Tell me Itachi, why did we take this girl? She's not the one we are looking for." So he hadn't told them. Or had just picked one of us for them to target. I didn't know if I should be grateful or irritated.

Naruto was my brother, I didn't want anyone to hurt him.

"That is not your concern." I watch the exchange, how interesting.

The blue skinned man shrugs his shoulders in response before swinging the huge sword over his shoulder and walks away. Probably off to hunt, or something. I can't say that I really cared.

Because finally, I was alone with Itachi and I had something I wanted to say to him. Something I had been thinking about for a very long time.

I had weighed the pros and cons, and I knew that I had to do this.

It needed to be done.

He takes a seat on a nearby log to watch me, and we sit in silence for a long time. In my case it's to insure big blue isn't close enough to overhear and I will not claim to know the motivations of the older teen. I wasn't that narcissistic.

He watches me through obsidian eyes for several moments before he decided to grace me with words. "You've changed." And I nod, it's a correct assumption.

"So have you." I stand, he knows I have no intentions to run. Not now, not before I can weave my web, and plant my lies and doubt.

"What are you planning?" There is no doubt he can see it in my eyes. I give him a sad look and for once speak the truth.

"Everything." I am distracting him now, getting a feel for how far away we are from a flying thunder god seal and wondering if I could teleport that distance. It would be worth a shot.

"I see." I'm sure he does. But I don't respond, my eyes drift towards the almost cloudless sky.

And then with manipulative intentions and honest words I speak just as I pick a target. "Uchiha Madara is a lie." My words are clear and crisp, so I know he understands them. However I do not wait to gauge his reaction, I did not want to.

With one half glance, I am gone. I do not miss the quick effort to conceal shock but it doesn't matter now. "Goodbye."

My body makes impact to a branch of a tree that has to be a part of the Nara forest, and I groan. That was certainly a broken rib. Or at least it felt like one. I jump down to the floor of the woods and it is with that impact that I have apparently sprained my ankle.

Being in this forest did raise the question of why the Yondaime thought it necessary to put a seal all the way out here though.

Joy.

I wonder around for a while before I manage to actually run into one of the deer. When Naruto and I were younger, I used to come out here to escape the villagers during the early days before I had decided not to care. So I had become familiar with the forest and the deer.

The creature nudged my arm with its head and I made a move to pet its neck. Deer didn't need words. I think that was why I liked it out here. To think that this beautiful forest would one day hold prison to a foul mouthed immortal.

What a depressing thought.

I shook my head, and allowed the deer to lead me back to most likely the Nara compound. Or somewhere, it really didn't matter as long as I was far away from those two.

I had gotten my answers.

And now I had no desire to be anywhere near them.

The deer takes me to an open field behind the compound where I find none other than the clan's heir laying out watching the clouds. "Nice weather we are having." He looks startled by my appearance, I probably don't look too great. So I don't blame him.

That look bleeds into confusion and his brow raises at him as I throw myself into the grass next to him. Man was I tired, I guess I had used more chakra than I thought with that jutsu. "What happened to you?" I give him a boneless kind of shrug and wince.

"Fun stuff." My voice is dry, because it really wasn't that fun. I should probably let someone know I was safe. But kami was I so tired, all I wanted to do was sleep.

So now I'm sure I hadn't actually gotten over my chakra exhaustion from before.

"I think you need to see a medic." I nod my head in response, he was probably right.

I can feel his exasperation at the situation before he lets out a long suffering sigh and stands. "I'll take you back to the compound, someone there will be able to help." He informs me in a bored tone while helping me stand.

I didn't really understand this act of familiarity because I hadn't made friends with any of them. But I know he knew that I was Naruto's sister so that was probably why he was helping me. So I didn't really question it.

I think I ended up leaning heavily on the barely older boy, but I really couldn't help it.

His dad had been home, took one look at me and I swear to god he let out a relieved sigh. "You look like you had fun." He draws out in a sarcastic manor but I know there is more to it that than. I nod my head in lieu of answering and fall quite elegantly into one of their kitchen chairs.

Too think I really hadn't done that much either.

Shikamaru leaves to probably go fetch a medic and I watch with half open eyes as the man who had probably been friends my father disappears into the kitchen. Perhaps to get coffee, he kind of looked worn. I would be too if I had his work load right now.

I felt for the Jonin Commander.

Which was really unexpected, but today hadn't really gone according my expectations.

I really needed some sleep. My hands are crossed on the wooden table already, so it doesn't take much for my head to follow. It only the voice of a medic nin that keeps me from falling into a deep sleep.

"Try to stay awake."

I did try. Can't say it worked though.

I had the distant feeling that I would be spending the night in the hospital.

Today really hadn't gone as expected.

It's what I get for setting them in the first place.

I should have known better.

Really I should have.

Expectation always let you down and disappointed you. Or bit you in the ass.

Either option was likely in this situation.

 **XOXOX**

 **WOAH! This chapter! I am super happy with this! So I hope you all like it too!**

 **Also hurray for character development, but deep down Mitomi is still Mitomi.**

 **Thank you all for you kind words and support!**

 **They mean everything to me.**

 **Thank you for all you reviews, favorites, follows and alerts! You guys are the best!**

 **So please continue to let me know what you think!**

 **I love hearing from you.**

 **I per usual I own nothing. Just Mitomi.**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	14. Chapter 14

**.14**

" _Do you think you could tell me what true strength is? I may be out of line, but hiding your true self and putting on airs doesn't seem any different than running away to me. I would think that embracing the things you truly like and being able to enjoy them is worth more than anything. To just be yourself… I believe that's what true strength really is"~_ _ **Ouran High School Host Club**_

… **.**

It was a funny thing.

When people told you too look from another's perspective. To see things from their point of view, as if it would help sway you in this figurative argument. Except how do you see things from different eyes when you had two good eyes of your own?

It was a pointless endeavor to try to get someone like me to be sympathetic for another's plight.

Maybe I should just flip a coin?

No that was a very bad idea. Coins had two sides, and while I could generally make either pull in my favor. This wasn't really a game I wanted to play.

Not now.

Not ever.

I folded my hands in my lap and stared up at the elders through my eye lashes. The essence of innocent. But they like myself knew much better. I let my eyes harden a cold look settled in.

Because what they were doing was wrong.

It usually was.

And I did not have the patience or the mood to deal with this bullshit today. My brother was per the timeline supposed to be home soon and I needed to prepare myself for the fact that he would then be leaving me again for a much longer time than two weeks. I wasn't dealing well with these facts.

"Absolutely not." I finally spoke, I kept my eyes closing on them.

"Excuse me?" Breathe in, breathe out. Try not to kill stupid people.

It was instants like this that made me very callous. Yes I was aware that I was a bitch.

"Honorable elders while I appreciate the offer, I must decline. It is not my desire to be a part of the black opps. Not now, or ever. Hiding one half of the equation doesn't solve the problem." I stood, bowed to show that regardless of what they thought I was not a heathen and left.

It did not matter to me that this was what they wanted, and had probably wanted it from the start. It did not matter that being offered this position was an honor or whatever bullshit they feed others. Not only did I know better than that, both Shishou and Kakashi had warned me.

Anbu, was not a place for twelve year old girls and I agreed.

Besides. I knew that the best spot for me was a visible one. I would not allow myself to be tucked away. Not as long as that man still breathed.

I did not trust that man.

Perhaps I even hated him.

Because he is responsible for most of the terrible things that happened to my brother and I.

I tuck my hands in my vest pockets and sigh. This was such an annoyance, I didn't need to be watched by him. I did not want him watching me, all I wanted was for that man to stay the hell away from me and my brother.

I would get what wanted.

It was only a matter of time.

I put distance between me and the Hokage tower. With Shishou gone, and Haku having gone with him it left me without a lot of choices for a safe place. Maybe I was being paranoid, but with my refusal I didn't trust that he wouldn't try something.

So as a last minute decision I headed in the direction of the compound that had offered me sanctuary as a child. Well there forest and deer did, but I supposed that I needed actual human contact right now. Any other time the deer would have been enough for me.

They didn't need words, or expect anything from me so I liked them.

With a bout of tepidness I knocked on the door. Because this was a little strange for me, I wasn't friends with Shikamaru, up until the other afternoon we might have said ten words to one another if that. But I knew he was found of my brother and out of all the rookie nine he was the easiest for me to deal with.

Like the deer, he didn't really expect much from me.

As expected his mother answered the door, she gave me a kind smile. I think mostly due to my resemblance to my own mother. "How can I help you Uzumaki-chan?" It was an odd mix of my last name and the suffix but hey whatever floated her boat.

"I'm looking for Shikamaru. Is he home?" She did raise her brow at that but made a motion for me to follow her into their home.

"He is, may I inquire as too why you are looking for him?" I nodded my head in acceptance of her question before responding.

"I want to thank him for the other day, I didn't get to before." Seeing as I fell asleep as soon as the medic cleared me. I was pretty sure Shishou brought me home that night, as I had no recollection of leaving the Nara compound but he had been gone before I could get my answers.

"Of course, he is out back with Team 10. I am most certain that they aren't actually doing anything after everything they did this morning." The woman then kindly directed me towards the back door and then headed back to whatever she had been doing previous to my interruption.

I pushed the screen door open, and was immediately the center of their attention. I did not particularly like it. With great care I kept the scowl from my face, I had to remember why I was really here.

"What are you doing here?" I raised my brow at the Nara heir. Did he not realize how rude that sounded? Wait, why did I even care? That wasn't even half as bad as I could get.

"Glad to see you're doing well." Their sensei said when I approached the group after ignoring Shikamaru's question. I leaned over the older man's shoulder to look at the game going on.

"Never better, I've finally gotten over all my injured from the invasion." And the kidnapping, but I didn't voice that last part. Turns out that bastard Itachi had used some kind of genjutsu on me, jerk. I thought we were kindred spirits.

Ino wasn't actually here, I noticed after a minute. She must have gone home and Yoshino hadn't known. Because I swore she said team 10 and that would include the blonde mind walker. Choji was sitting in the grass with a bag of chips. So the usual.

I received some sort of annoyed look from the older boy but I continued to ignore him in favor of watching their match. Strategic games had never really appealed to me, I didn't really find any value in them. There was a big difference in the strategy used in gaming vs real life and I tended to focus more on the harder of the two.

It was interesting to watch those two play too, especially since I knew the smoker didn't really stand a chance.

"So what are you doing here kid?" Asuma asked me after a moment, I gave him a thoughtful look.

"I had wanted to say thank you." I directed my answer at the Nara, he nodded his head before turning his attention back to the game. I took a seat then looking more intently at the board.

"But you were kind of rude, so I think I'll just keep my thanks." Asuma snorted then shaking his head at me. I think he could tell there was something else bothering me but thankfully he kept it to himself.

I really wasn't acting like myself.

We sat in silence for a while after that, so I found myself wondering.

"How are the deer?" He shook his head at my question, I don't think he understood my love for them. Not many did.

The deer just got me.

"I think I missed it when you just ignored me." Rude. I turned up my nose at his statement.

"Are you always this rude?" I asked curiously, because I was. I didn't remember him being like this from the show. He ignored me, like I had him earlier.

"So how much longer until they let you run missions again?" Asuma asked to ease the air, or to try to figure out what was really going on. It was a good tactic. I shrugged, because honestly I didn't know.

Probably a lot sooner if I had said yes to them, but that was done now. Both boys actually looked at me then like it was crazy. Or you know I'm not really sure why they looked at me like that.

"You're not doing missions?" The Akamichi asked, and I nodded.

"Nope, I haven't been allowed to run missions since before the chunin exams. The last mission I went on outside of the village was almost a year ago and to think they promoted me too." That made me frown, I kind of missed being able to leave the village. Getting away was nice.

Shikamaru actually turned his full body to look at me then. "Why?" I made the gesture of 'I don't know' before sighing.

"Who knows, and I've probably just increased the time too." My tone was flippant like it actually didn't matter to me. It did, but I didn't want them to know that.

"What did you do?" I looked up at the new voice, and found the jonin commander had peaked his head outside. So he had probably heard a good portion of the conversation. I should have been paying better attention.

I was a jonin now.

Well a Tokubetsu jonin, but it really didn't make that much of a difference. I still needed to pay better attention.

Eh, who was I kidding? That was never going to happen unless I felt it really important to hide what I wanted to talk about.

"The elders tried to make me join anbu." Shikaku sighed, as if it was what he had expected. There was a knowing look in his eyes.

"I take it you told them no." I gave an affirmed head nod in response. He would more than likely understand my reasoning, at least some of them.

The obvious ones.

"Well yeah, it would have been stupid to say yes." I knew my own strengths, and I had plans that required me to defiantly not be in anbu. To never be in Anbu, they could… never mind let me not go there.

He shook his head at me before heading back into the house. The boys were still staring at me, I had kind of forgotten about them. I gave them a look.

"What?" Shikamaru finally sighed, most definitely at me. Asuma just shook his head there was a funny look in his eyes but he didn't really say much after that. Choji just continued with his eating, as if none of this really matter to him.

It probably didn't

"Anbu? Aren't you younger than us?" I might have pouted at his tone. I don't know what was wrong with me today, I was being very much not like myself.

Did I miss being around people?

That couldn't…

I mean it had been a while since I had just been around other humans for no other purpose than their company.

I didn't like it.

I gave a slight nod to answer his question, my mind wondered a bit.

I had things that I needed to be doing, things that needed to be done.

But here I was, sitting in the back yard of the Nara compound having a conversation with another human being and maybe, just slightly enjoying it. This was exactly what I wanted to avoid.

I didn't want to make any more connection with these people.

The three I had were enough.

Human connection was a disadvantage. It didn't help me here.

At least that is what I wanted to believe.

It was why trying to look through someone else's eyes was such a bad thing.

To achieve my goals, I couldn't compromise my ambitions to spare others feelings. I shouldn't have too.

I knew this.

Better than anyone.

Because I knew that these people would all suffer so much.

I shouldn't care about them.

I shouldn't concern myself with them.

I had known better.

So why couldn't I just walk away?

Because I also knew deep down, that connecting, and caring also gave you strength. Gave you fulfillment and purpose.

Things that I desperately wanted.

Things that I craved.

Feelings I had never shared with anyone.

They had finally caught up to me, I could only run from my own nature for so long.

This perspective, well it changed everything.

I skillfully pegged Shikamaru between the eyes with a shoji piece for his tone during his early comment after I pulled myself together, and crossed my arms. "Technically you are all the same age." Asuma kindly pointed out, and for some reason beyond me I stuck my tongue out at him.

There was a warm feeling inside my chest, one I had only experience with Naruto and Shishou.

It was a hard feeling to describe, and I did not know if I liked it or not.

It made me feel funny.

"How troublesome."

He was not wrong.

This was quite troublesome indeed.

 **XOXOX**

 **I don't know how I feel about this chapter. Because It's hard to stay true to Mitomi when this is how the story has to progress. Odd. Oh well.**

 **Please let me know what you guys think, you know I love hearing from you all.**

 **Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, followed, and alerted this story. You guys are the best!**

 **As per usual I own nothing.**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	15. Chapter 15

**.15**

" _Lelouch, do you know why the snow is white? Snow is white, because it has forgotten what color it is supposed to be."~_ _ **Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion**_

… **.**

I just want to point out something. I think it is important to take a moment and just remember. Because it's been sometime and I think maybe you have forgotten some of the facts. That's okay, I know that we have strayed a bit from it. But they do need to be remembered.

I never wanted any of this to happen. That may or may not have been a lie.

I was a liar.

I was trying to be better.

There were many thing that I would be unable to stop from happening. Things that couldn't change, no matter how much I wanted them to. No matter how much I tried to prevent them from happening.

Somethings were just meant to be it seemed. Things that they wanted to stay the same. Things that probably needed to happen.

I wasn't able to stop the boy from leaving, from abandoning the village, from hurting my brother.

It hurt me to admit it, it hurt to think of my failure. Because I had tried so hard, I put so much on the line for it.

But it hadn't made a difference.

Maybe I need to explain and elaborate better here. Go into better detail, but first I needed to let you down easy. Because whatever you had been expecting here, whatever you thought was going to happen, it didn't.

The months leading up to the Sasuke retrieval arc were mostly uneventful for me. I was on suspension still, punishment for my refusal to join Anbu. So I was stuck doing menial task around the village. Which was dumb, but that is another story all together and we won't getting into that at this time.

I didn't do much but plot and spend time with my brother before I knew he would ultimately be leaving me.

Thinking about it wasn't really a good idea. Dwelling didn't really do me any justice. Because thre anything I was willing to do to change that. I knew better. My brother needed to leave.

So I mostly ignored my growing feelings, ran massages for the new Hokage and did small fuinjutsu projects around the village. It made the time go by rather slowly if you asked me.

Naruto and I hung out when we could, which admittedly wasn't that much with all the mission he went on. I saw Haku and Shishou even less, they were both always gone. It was rather irking to me.

So the months leading up to that arc were boring and not worth mentioning beyond this point. Even the arc itself didn't hold much interest for me once I realized that all my plotting was for nothing. The boy still left.

It was a hard dose of humility for me. I thought that I could do everything, I thought that I could force this world to subject to my wills. I was wrong.

This world could not be forced to do anything that it didn't want to do.

Because regardless of what I wanted to believe but knew ultimately to be false, I was not a god. I didn't have sovereign control over this universe.

I was just a single girl who only wanted her brother to be happy.

And that wasn't always enough.

Of course I did try, I wanted to do my very best to alter things as I saw fit. For my own selfish desires. But it did not always go according to plan. That's life for you, because when you think you have everything figured out that's when the higher power comes by and throws a wrench into you plans. Or knocks over your card tower, or whatever other metaphor there was.

That higher power and I, well we did not exactly see eye to eye on many things. Or anything. Because it felt like with everything that I changed, the next alteration was even harder to make. As if this deity was there laughing at my efforts the whole damn time.

Because only the foolish ever claimed to be able to touch god. And I sure whatever that higher power was, well he was more than likely sick of my meddling. Or he just like to see me suffer.

Perhaps both.

Why else would I have been reincarnated into this world, where I knew almost everything? If not to change those meaningless lesson learned through pain. I could prevent much of their suffering, but to do so, I had to struggle. Or perhaps I was wrong, about everything, about my purpose here in this universe.

There were still many things that I had not yet figured out.

But I found myself uncaring of all, because I had people who counted on me and people who I counted on in this life.

I had not had that before, and I wasn't going to squander it now even if it meant I had to struggle, to suffer. It was a price I had always been willing to pay.

Spoiler alert! I did suffer.

Many times over, actually.

But I was happy too.

If it meant that my brother didn't have to. If I could spare him some pain.

If I could ease the hardship of his life. Even if just a little.

I was more than happy too.

It was the purpose of everything that I had ever done, up until now.

Because for so long, I had put myself aside. Put my feelings, and my humanity aside. Just so I could spare him the burden. Ease his suffering, even if for only a moment.

It was in doing all this, locking my emotions away, becoming this thing, this unfeeling, uncaring creature that I forgot one of the most important truths. I forget, no, I chose not to remember, that I am indeed human. I wanted so badly to be the highest power, I wanted to shoulder the burden alone. To believe that I was invincible and that nothing could hurt me.

I was wrong. I had always been wrong.

What I forgot, what I let slip from my mind, fall out of my grasp. I forget the importance of actual human connection.

Of course I do realize that this does contradict with many of the things that I have already stated. With several of the facts, but that is the way it goes. This is the way of life.

Hindsight, is everything.

It is why this arc that I have skimmed over is so important. Because it made me realize what exactly I have been avoiding. Everything that happened, everything that I couldn't prevent from happing. All of it served for one purpose, and one purpose only.

It was a reminder.

A reminder of what I was, of who I am.

And the facts don't change, the truth of the matter is simple. It always had been.

I just had wanted to be more complicated than it was. I had looked at the situation through cracked lenses, with blurred vision. I had made it harder than it was supposed.

I was doing that with everything. Making even harder for myself.

I wanted to play god, the cards were stacked in my favor and I had fooled myself.

The truth.

The only truth.

The simplest fact in the universe. A fact I always wanted to ignore, to pretend that it wasn't true. Lies I wanted to believe. Because if I ignored this truth, If I ignored the facts staring me in the face and just continued to swallow my own lies. Settle for the falsehoods, then I could continue in my ignorance without any consequence.

But the truth it always caught to you, and it always came out.

I wanted to be god, but I wasn't even close.

I had never been close, I never would be.

The truth.

I am human.

I am human, I cannot claim to be of some higher power or to be some form of god. Even if sometimes I lead myself believe it. Create falsehoods to support is. I am human, a fragile, broken, deceitful human. Nothing would ever change that fact. Nothing could. I wasn't all powerful, wasn't completely all knowing, and I wasn't perfect.

Everything was falling apart in front me, my lies had finally caught up to me. I had deceived myself for so long, and it had finally caught me.

Remember, the person you hurt the most when you believed lies and lived in falsehoods. The person, was you.

 **XOXOX**

 **I apologize for how long it has been since I updated last! I have been super busy with work, and life had been crazy.**

 **I also apologize for not really going into detail about the Sasuke Retrieval arc, but this chapter was supposed to be more about the backlash of the arc vs the arc itself. Also everything would have played out exactly like it did in the manga/anime and I didn't feel the need to write any of it.**

 **Mitomi wasn't a part of the group sent to stop him, a safety measure to insure that both jinchuriki's weren't out of the village on a dangerous mission at the same time. Also it was a part of her punishment for saying no to anbu.**

 **We get back to the original writing style from chapter one here, with Mitomi just narrating everything with her clouded melancholy thoughts.**

 **Yes this chapter is a bit hard to digest, but she has a lot of conflicting emotions and it's something that I want to express here. I think it's important that we remember that she is still human. A fragile human with actual feelings trying to play god. But a human nonetheless.**

 **So thank you very much for reading! I don't know how soon the next update will come, but I do know that the next chapter will take place during the timeframe that Naruto is gone. Probably the next few chapters if I am honest.**

 **As of the moment I'm not sure what I plan to do about the Fourth Shinobi war, or pretty much anything that follows Itachi's arc in Shippuden. I do know about how I plan to end this, but not all of the details to getting there.**

 **Thank you so much! I am happy to hear from you guys!**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**

 **As of this moment this chapter has not been proof read, I apologize for any mistakes.**


	16. Chapter 16

**.16**

" _This is just my opinion, but when it comes to teaching somebody discipline... I believe pain is the most effective way"_ _ **~Attack on Titan**_

 _ **...**_

A lesson learned through pain is not a lesson worth learning at all. It the very base of everything that I have done up to this point. All my struggles and suffering are because of this. Pain is a terrible teacher. Cruel to her pupils, uncaring of those who are already suffering. She comes in and takes, takes, and keeps taking.

Pain has no remorse.

Pain holds nothing back.

Pain is impossible to avoid.

The ultimate price.

A price I would pay over and over again, no matter how broken I would become, no thought of how far I would fall. Pain doesn't care. So long as someone pays the toll. It matters not whom or what they are going through.

Perhaps I am being a tad dramatic. I always did have a flair of it, I think at least. The time before now is becoming more and more of a distant blur. It is the ever familiar feeling of someone much taller than myself resting there arm on the top of my head that brings me from my melancholy.

It's Haku. His eyes are concerned, the emotion is easy to read. He always has some form of that look when I'm around. I think perhaps he worries for my mental health or something.

"What are you thinking about now?" A sigh escaped my lips at the question.

"The purpose of pain." He groaned in exasperation, then took a deep breath. Shishou rolled his eyes.

They were both back in the village for an unforeseeable amount of time and I was taking advantage of having them back by getting lost in thought over things that I really didn't have any sort of control over. "I think it's time to take a break." He tells us, with an almost amused expression.

Haku straightens himself upright, removing the offending limb from my head and shakes his head. I watch them both for a minute before pushing myself off the ground and dusting my dress off. Yes I said dress. It offered me a free range of movement, with split up both sides and the fact that it barely touched my knees. For the sake of everyone else I wore tight leggings under it.

But that really is beside the point. It didn't really matter what I wore if I could not spare the ones I loved from having to learn lessons from pain, from suffering.

Suffering was an equally terrible teacher.

Naruto had suffered enough already. We both had.

Shishou's hand ruffling the top of my head pulled me from my musing this time. His expression was hard to read but when I met his gaze he shook his head at me. "I saw your name on the active duty roster this morning." He tells me once we've all taken seats in a small tea house.

I had wondered when they were going to allow me back into the field, it had been months since my refusal to join anbu and almost a full year since Naruto had left with our godfather. My eyes widened in surprise. It was finally happening.

I was no longer going to be bound to this village. A caged bird, I could finally spread my wings and soar. There were so many things that I needed to do, groundwork that needed to be laid, plans that needed to be built, allies that needed to be made. Finally I was free.

"You've already been assigned a mission." There is an edge to his voice that halts me thoughts of freedom in their wake and crushes the dream before it every truly begins. He holds out a scroll to me, and with reluctant hands I take it from him.

It doesn't make sense. Why didn't I get a notice? "I'm leading it?" I finally ask after the second read through. It's a shocking bit of news, my first mission back in the field and I'm leading.

I was not cut out to be a leader! Hell I didn't even like most people and they didn't like me. Why did the Hokage think this was a good idea? This had to be some kind of trick. It just had to be.

Because if not, then this unsettled feeling in my gut. This deep pit of unease was bound to consume me. There no other way for this end, I could only see one outcome of me trying to be a leader.

Pain.

No other possibilities existed, just another lesson learned through pain.

It was the first time, in a long time, maybe even forever that I wished to be wrong. That I wanted to be proved wrong. Alas, things rarely ever go the way I want them to. The next bit was going to be even harder to swallow.

Because deep down, I knew, I always knew.

There was only one way this would go.

And I hated myself for it, because I couldn't do anything to prepare myself for what I was about to lose. For what was about to be taken from me, what pain was going to give me.

Suffering, and heartache.

Nothing more, and nothing less.

Always those two things.

I can distantly feel a hand patting my shoulder, as if trying to reassure me that everything would fine. That this premonition that washed over me was nothing more than a lie. It was a lie I wanted more than anything to believe.

"Mitomi, everything is going to be fine. You'll do great. Besides we will be with you." His reassuring words fall on deaf ears, I couldn't believe him. I just had this feeling that I couldn't shake but I offer him the best smile I can and nod. I want to believe him…

Haku gives me soft smile, it gentle and kind and I don't deserve it. I never deserved it.

But I loved it, because besides him, no one other than Naruto had ever looked at me that way before. Which made everything that followed so much harder. The pain so much deeper. It would tear me apart and then beat me down.

Pain, had no sympathy for the broken or lost.

It terrible teacher, who took, and took, and kept taking. No matter the cost.

I hated pain.

 **XOXOX**

 **WHOA! I am so excited to have finally finished this chapter! It have been working on it since before the last update and have rewritten it more times than I can count. You guys I am so pumped for what is to come next!**

 **So please let me know what you think! You know I love hearing from you!**

 **This chapter has not been beta'd so I apologize for any mistakes.**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	17. Chapter 17

**.17**

" _I too, was looking for something. Something real in this world. For me, it was the warmth of your hand."_ _ **~ Sword Art Online**_

…

It all happening way to fast. Time has stopped moving around me, but everyone else keeps going forward. The conclusion comes quickly, comes unapologetically, and it's terrible.

We'd been in the field for over a month, gathering intel to make sure this extraction went off without a hitch. I thought if I made sure that I had everything planned to the tee that I could ignore the feeling still deep in my gut, that feeling of uncertainty. But I was right, even though I had wished so desperately to be wrong.

"HAKU!" My throat burns as his name echoes around the clearing. The image of his lifeless body falling over the side of the cliff etched forever in my mind. In the mist of it all, I freeze and a feeling of helplessness crashes into me at full force. Knocking me of kilter, and sudden realization sets in.

No, no, no... This wasn't happening. This wasn't supposed to happen. I never wanted any of this!

And it was in that moment, a moment fueled by self-loathing and desperation. That for the first time in my entire life I lost control.

Of everything.

I thought I had become strong, I thought I could protect the ones that I love. That I was better than this. I had known better than this.

But knowing, and acceptance are two very different things.

I saw nothing but red, the future the one I wanted to protect and to change it didn't matter then. Nothing mattered.

No one matter.

Not if I couldn't even save just one person whom I had come to love. Come to care for.

In the distance, somewhere far past what I can hear I know he calling to me. Desperately trying to get to stop, trying to stop me. But it is too late.

Maybe it always had been.

Haku was dead.

I had just watched him die.

I never wanted that.

"MITOMI!" Someone yells my name.

But there is no point now.

I don't care anymore.

Perhaps I never had.

My vision is clouded, my blood boiling, my lungs heavy. I can faintly hear a bubbling noise as a clock of red surrounds me. It's different from any time before that I have used his chakra. It's darker, thicker, it is the promise of death.

This is not a conscious transformation. It is not me working with the fox. No the fox has taken over, and I cannot find it in myself to even care.

 **You know you want too.** I was suddenly face to face with the fox.

He was not wrong.

I wanted them to feel my pain.

I wanted them to hurt like they have hurt me.

I needed them to cower in fear, like I have of them.

I ignore the tears streaming down my cheeks, my fingers brush faintly against the seal. They deserved this, they always had.

Killing Haku had been the last straw.

So why couldn't I rip away the seal?

Why couldn't I unleash my justice?

My fingers are hocked under the corner. It would be so easy. All of my pain would just go away.

I wanted it too.

I was so tired.

It is a hand grabbing my wrist that causes me to snap. It brings from the loss and it reminds of who I am.

Because I know this hand, I knew this chakra.

Even if I had only ever felt it once, I would never forget it. I would never allow myself to forget it.

Daddy.

This was his hand, his chakra. It was his last defense, for us.

It is with tearful eyes that I meet his gaze. His smile so much and yet so different than my brother's. So gentle, kind. Things that I had never been.

Never could be.

"You don't want to do that." He tells me, and I want to believe him.

But I did not know what I wanted. I never had. Maybe I never would.

"You don't know me. You never got to know me!" My voice croaked on the words horse from the crying. Why was I so angry? He didn't deserve it, this wasn't his fault.

But I couldn't help it.

This man, who gave his life to protect that village, who sealed this demon inside me and my brother, this man was my father. I had known this my entire life. I knew him, but he had never gotten to know me.

So how would he know what I did or did not know? When I didn't even know myself.

"I know, and I am sorry." Slowly carefully, he wraps his arms around me pulling me close. Holding me, comforting me.

My best friend, the only person besides my brother to ever understand me had just died. He was gone. Forever.

I let the Yondaime hold me, I do not turn away this offered comfort. This is what I have always needed. He wipes the tears from my eyes and brushes the stuck hairs from my cheeks.

"Why? Why do this us? What did we do to deserve this?" It hurts, so much, this pain, this feeling of desperation. These things that I have always struggled with. They were destroying me.

"Why?" It is nothing more than a quiet whimper.

I had to know.

I needed to know.

"Because I knew you could handle it. Because you are my child, my daughter." His hand brushes down the lengths of my hair and he pulls me just a little bit closer.

"Because I wanted to protect you, wanted something to keep you safe. Because I knew it wasn't going to be me." My ragged breathing begins to settle, and I am able to meet his eyes for the first time in several seconds.

"Because I love you, I always have Mitomi." I realize then that we are in my field, there is a warm breeze in the air, and the sun is shining.

I take a moment once he has let me go to rub my eyes and to look around. How had we gotten here?

I don't think that it really matter.

"So I am sorry, that it has hurt you so much, I am so terribly sorry." His expression is sincere, his eyes still kind. I drop my hand from my eyes to really look at him.

"I know, I think I have always known." It is a quiet admittance and a sudden tiredness settles over me, I fall to the ground. Letting my hands feel the warm grass. He sits next to me, and I lean into his side letting my heavy head rest on his shoulder.

Someone to share the burden with.

He puts his arm around me and holds me a little longer. Because we both know it won't last forever, that this time is limited.

"You don't have to apologize. I'm sorry too." For the resentment, for the lies, for everything. Words I cannot say but I know he knows. He places a small kiss to the top of my head.

"We are very similar I think." I nod my head, because perhaps he is right, perhaps he always was. Besides I could see it too.

It was so clear to me now.

"You are a good girl, who has tried to shoulder too much on her own for too long, I know how that feels. I also know that you have several people who want to help you, if you would just give them the chance."

And for the first time in what seems like a very long time, I smile a true smile. A genuine smile. He was right.

"Thank you." I snuggled a little deeper into his side, to cherish this feeling, to implant the feeling into my brain. I wanted to remember this.

To never forget how it felt to be held by someone who loved you unconditionally.

To be held by a loving father.

"You know what has to be done now, I know you've put it together." I nod my head. I did know.

"They will never stop, they will always come after us. But we will protect each other. Like we always have." He ruffles the top of my hair in a manor I'm sure he knows I hate, but I can't find it in me to really care.

"I know you will. I have faith in you Mitomi." Our time was ending, I could feel his chakra begin the fade. I needed him to know, or else I would regret it.

"I love you." There are tears in my eyes again but they are not from pain, these are simply tears of happiness. It is an odd feeling to cry while being happy.

Something I hadn't felt in a long, long time.

"I love you too my child, be safe." He fades away, his chakra flickers out of existence like our favored technique.

Time to face the music of what destruction I have reaped.

It is not as bad as I thought it would be.

The enemy is definitely dead, but shishou and the others in our squad are mostly uninjured. He holds out his hand to me a strange look in his eyes. "Gomen shishou." I am pulled to my feet, my eyes search the destroyed valley for any sign of my friend. Any sign that maybe he had survived.

It is not the case.

I turn to look at shishou, pleading tearful eyes. He nodded his head. "We'll bring him home." All I can manage is a nod, I know words will fail me.

It is hours later after we have sealed Haku's body away and are returning to the village when I have finally mustered up the courage to speak. To ask just how bad was it.

"How many of the tails did I have?" His eyes remain forward, I'm almost afraid that he will ignore me. Even if that would be hard considering shishou is carrying me on his back.

"Eight, I wasn't able to stop it. Luckily you didn't hurt any of our men. I am sorry." I am quiet for a moment, I don't know the right words to say. His guilt is easy for me to feel. Even though he shouldn't have been feeling that way. But I understand what he means.

"It's not your fault." It's nothing but a soft whisper, but it's true and I mean it. My head falls then, resting on his shoulder. He ignores the sobs that escape and lets me cry silently.

It may not have seemed like it, but Haku was my closest friend. I needed him and now he was gone. The worst part is that this is all my fault.

I knew better.

I never wanted any of this to happen.

I never wanted to have to feel this kind of pain.

I never wanted to lose the ones I love.

But I never really got what I wanted.

 **XOXOX**

 **OMG! Too chapters in one day! That hasn't happened in a while. I am so sorry! Please forgive me.**

 **I actually cried when I wrote this chapter (two months ago). Yeah this has been written since chapter ten or so. I'm sorry.**

 **Please let me know what you think!**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	18. Chapter 18

**.18**

" _Maybe... just maybe, the light can reach even the bottom of a dark ocean."~_ **Your Lie in April**

… **.**

I need to say this, I think, that deep down I always knew that there was a possibility for this. That there was small chance that I cared, about them, about what they thought of me. It was that small part that I had tried to so incredibly hard to keep buried. To ignore.

Until Haku.

I know you probably don't understand, with how my narration has been going. It's because I chose not to give detail, forget include the heartwarming, and human aspects of the story. So far I feel as if I could only give you the facts and nothing else. Because up until now that's all this really has been, just facts of how I got here, of what I was willing to do.

They haven't changed. They've just shifted now, everything is just a little of center. The waves have crashed into the shore, lashing out against the banks. That's how it is now, and I think maybe it's time to get to the reality of it.

I never wanted to care. That had never been my intention, it's why everything has been told like this. All I wanted was for people to think that I had no heart, that I was nothing but a semblance of a human. Perhaps I had you fooled, if only for a moment.

But that mask is scattered around me, falling into millions of tiny pieces. Shattering like frail glass it was. I don't notice at first, because the first piece fell many years ago. So I take no notice as the pieces begin to crack and break away, not until Haku. It only then that I realize how far I've broken. How I have truly fallen, the extent of how much I actually felt come to light.

It is agony, pure and utter agony. My heart feels as if it's being torn to shreds, as if I am being held underwater. Drowning. With no chance to ever break the surface.

That's what it feels like, the knowing you gave your all to try fruitlessly to protect those you love and to fail. It is the exposer of a lie, a falsehood finally falling. I never forget this pain.

It follows me for the rest of my life. Like a dark cloud hanging over head.

In time I hope it becomes easier to bear, but for now I struggle and the day by day gets seemingly more difficult.

So I retreat into myself for a time, further than I ever have before. I allow myself to be buried in missions that take me outside of the village. In time I become a hollow of what I once had been.

Sleep comes sparsely, and is always riddle with nightmares. Fears, of what further failure will cause and shadows of delusions. Echoes of a life not fully lived.

Life spins on. It is relentless, and I hate it.

I distance myself from everyone who cares, because over the years there have been a few additions to the small list. For months following the death I live only like this, there is no other way to live.

I can no longer see the future that I want to save, just the past days that now haunt me. There a part of me that no longer wishes to see it.

I am reminded of time long gone, from a lifetime that may or may not have existed.

That thought is pushed away before I can allow myself to steep on it. There is no telling what going to that place will do to my already damaged psych. So it is best if we just leave it be.

A distractions comes easily enough with the approaching checkpoint and ultimate reentry to the village. The gates loom in the distance, towering over the tree tops, which says something considering how tall the trees in the Land of Fire actually were. My pace slows, no matter how much of a hurry you were in it was never a good idea to come up to fast on the gates.

The Anbu guarding didn't really appreciate it. Or so I've been told. With time to spare my feet hit the compact dirt path silently, reminding me of what I am.

By the time I reach the check in point, my mission scroll and I.D. are already out. I don't feel like talking to the two chunin on gate duty and if I am not prepared they will try to make small talk. Sometimes they do anyway, it seemed like today was going to be one of those days.

"They sure keep you busy." The males name escapes me but I nod in lieu of the words I don't feel the need to spare. He scribbles something in the log and with a few more pleasantries allows me to continue.

I don't miss the whispers he gets from his partner but I sure as hell pretend to.

Some things never really changed.

I guess I hadn't really expected them to. Not when I myself had not made any effort for them to think differently of me. Perhaps I really didn't want things to change.

A reluctant sigh falls from my lips. Even after all this time I was still living in my lies. Or trying to at least. What I did during those months immediately following the death of Haku I wouldn't necessarily consider living, I did not come close to what living was supposed to be. I simply just existed in my grief.

I won't tell you that it worked, the constantly being gone, but It did help distract me from the pain. Being in the village hurt more than it should have. The pitying looks from those who knew what I had lost were more haunting than the sneers and hateful looks that I had received before.

I don't need there pity, but I cannot escape it either.

I am so overtaken by my own thoughts that I don't notice them, there is no point trying to lie about it either. My emotions are high and I have already begun the downward descent. So no I do not see them, I do not move to get out of the way, and we collide.

"Easy there." A pair of arms enclose around me, to keep me steadied. It's familiar, it's warm and it hurts more than anything because we both knew the truth.

I was avoiding him. Had been for months. There was no denying it, no lie to avoid this truth. Just the facts.

We were both hurting.

And it was all my fault.

A silence encased in tension follows. It was a sad and concerning thought, Shishou had always been my safe place and now I didn't even know how to act around my own teacher. Behind his mostly expressionless face and careless façade I knew he cared for me. But now everything was all wrong.

As I stated before, it was all different now.

"Are you heading out?" Words find me after another elongated moment of strained silence. I won't deny my worry here, or my feelings. Even though I had been ignoring them I knew I stilled cared.

The roles have taken on a reverse here and Shishou nods head in response, eying me almost wearingly. It is hard tell what is going in his head, harder than it has ever been. I hate it.

There is no more to the conversation, just a farewell pat to my shoulder and a quick nod of goodbye. I am left standing alone in the hallway, wondering, dreading, and anxiously waiting for the water to rise. The feeling of drowning is present again, it harder to push away.

I put one foot in front of the other and continue on my way. Desperately trying to will the sensation away. All I want is for all of this to be undone, I didn't want to feel like this anymore.

Helpless.

I felt helpless.

The downward spiral had begun long ago, and the bottom would be fast approaching now. The left here was the inevitable impact on the harsh ground.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to know what would come of it, what exactly would happen once I reached the ground.

How many times more could put myself back together and still be me?

Honestly I didn't know if I'd even be able to that. Or if I was already too far gone.

 **XOXOX**

 **This chapter just came out of nowhere! I apologize for how depressing it is, but the next chapter will be a little easier to swallow as we get into actual story telling too. WOOT WOOT!**

 **So please let me know what you think!**

 **Please forgive any errors in the writing I don't have a beta and I haven't proof read this myself either. So my apologies.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has favorited/commented/ and followed this story! You guys are the best.**

 **Have a great day!**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	19. Chapter 19

**.19**

" _The city is changing. Our surroundings, and even ourselves. And then one day, just about everything will change…"_ _ **~Clannad**_

… **.**

The Godaime had not known what to expect of the child who had saved her former sensei's life, perhaps she had expected the girl to be similar to the brother she had met first. Or like their father, her fellow sannin had both stated a resemblance between the girl and the Yondaime. Tsunade hadn't seen it.

Not at first and not for a while.

Uzumaki Mitomi went to a long of trouble to shield her true colors. In a way she did feel for the teen, with everything that those two had endured she could understand the girl's reasoning. That however did not mean she agreed with them.

She disagreed with a lot of the ideals of Uzumaki Mitomi. The girl was too withdrawn and had an obscured outlook. Tsunade often questioned the judgement of the Sandaime and his reasoning's for pulling the girl when he did.

Kami knows that girl could have used more time around her own peers, instead of being thrown head first into the shinobi life. It is all the more evident of this fact when the loss occurs.

Because she spirals.

Tsunade doesn't notice it until it's almost too late. When the girl is almost too far gone. She gives her credit though, because even in the midst of her grief the girl hides her true feelings marvelously. Never allowing anyone to see the broken, and lost child she truly is.

A sigh falls from the woman's lips as she watches the red head girl retreat from her office. Her assistant looks over in concern. "Everything alright milady?" Tsunade shakes her head, hoping that this small thing will be enough.

She recognized the look in the girl's eye all too well, and prays to whatever deity there is that sending the girl the Yamanaka's way will save her. Somethings were just beyond her control and not a part of her already full skill set.

"We will see." The Godaime turns back to her unfinished work, pushing thoughts of the Uzumaki girl from her mind for now. She has done all she can.

A rope has been thrown down into the abyss the girl has lost herself in, all Tsunade can hope for is that she'll take it.

..

Shikamaru isn't exactly sure what to think when Ino strolls into the compound going on about the enigma that was one Uzuamki Mitomi. "I mean have you seen her lately Shikamaru?" The blonde throws herself down in the grass taking a seat next to their teammate. He pauses, his hand mid move and gives her a blank look.

"No, I haven't seen her." Since before her first mission back in the field, the one that nobody will talk about or even dare to bring up when the red headed teen is in ear shot. Ino's eyes softened briefly as her thoughts drifted back to the younger girl.

"She looks terrible, I've never seen her like that." He tilts his head in her direction a silent indication that he has some interest in what he is being told and he wants her to continue. Mitomi had always taken good care of herself, physically at least.

"The poor things clothes were just hanging on her and I'm almost a hundred percent certain she hasn't slept in months. I also heard that she'd been doing back to back missions, with barely any down time." Ino is a gossip, but the information is useful. It offered him some news on how she was doing. So he never really discouraged it. So to hear that is more than unusual, Mitomi's outfits were usually well fitted for her petite frame.

Not that he had noticed.

Their sensei is awfully quiet during the exchange, which makes him think that the Jonin knows more about the situation than he is letting on too. Shikamaru searches for anything in the older man to see if he know anything more. Asuma ends his turn and the boy can see his own win in just a few more moves, he sighs.

How predictable. Asuma never really put up a fight when it came to their games. It made for a rather boring match.

"Can we go get lunch before you two start again?" The Nara shook his head at the enquiry and made motion to stand, yeah he could eat.

"Barbaque?" Asuma suggest, because he wasn't the only one who was predictable. The boys nodded their head in agreement and Ino just let out and exasperated sigh. Typical.

He laughed at their antics while ushering them out of the yard. All previous thoughts of Uzumaki Mitomi gone from their minds.

..

She doesn't report in to the mission's desk for a few days, not that the Godaime was complaining. The child needed a break. But the fact that the girl hadn't been seen in that time either is unsettling. It was unlike her to just disappear.

The situation if handled improperly ran the risk of going south very quickly. Her predecessor and sensei had been in the office at the time when the news came through. She had never seen the old man look so amused.

Because of course Sarutobi-sensei would find the situation amusing. She watched as the old man merely shook his head as if he knew something the rest of them clearly didn't and promptly dismissed himself. He was fairly spry for a man who had almost died little more than a year ago and for his age too.

Oh the joys of iryo-ninjutsu.

The Sandaime liked to think that he knew the girl better than most, sure not as well as say her own brother or her teacher, but he had a deep rooted understanding of how she thought and could usually determind what action she would take based out of it. That had been one of the reasons he saw fit to push her like he had, to let her graduate early, to rise in rank as she did. Because he was well aware of just how much she could actually handle.

Yes the girl had the emotional competence of a stone at time, and sure her thought process was pessimistic and sometimes downright concerning. But she was a good girl at heart, and for the most part well grounded. Sometimes you just had to ignore the looks she gave or the words she spoe.

So to hear that she was 'missing' didn't surprise him in the slightest. Not now, given the situation. Not when the whole concept of her reality was falling around her, not when she was losing her grip on what she believed to be true. But then again he did know her, better than most.

In many ways she was too much and at the same time nothing at all like either of her parents. She carried burdens like her mother, shouldering them all alone but unlike the free spirit that had been the Yondaime's wife she couldn't find the joy in this world couldn't see anything but darkness. Mitomi had taken on so much in her short life too, he wondered sometimes exactly how many secrets she kept.

How much pain did she truly bear?

He didn't even want to get into the physical resemblance between the mother and daughter either. It did surprise him sometimes how not many had ever drawn the conclusion, something he had always been grateful for.

Then there was comparison between her and Minato. The one two of his former students had drawn, and even Kakashi had come too. Their minds. Mitomi was on an entirely different level than the rest of her generation intellectually, the Nara heir would be the closest match. But that might not be close.

What she lacked in emotional context, she made up for in sheer wit. The girl was a genius. If she would ever pull herself out of the pessimism and apply her mind to more useful pursuit. Like seal creation and alteration.

The work she had done just to fit her father's technique to her own fighting style still amazed him. She didn't pull her punches with it, and had it all but perfect. That's not say that she cannot make it perfect, oh no Mitomi could do perfect and perhaps even beyond that but she chose not to. Content with what she had done with it.

With all that in mind, he knows there are only two places in the entirety of their village that the girl could be. Given the circumstances it really boils down to one place, the one place she has always found the most solace. And it's not the woods and field she had spent so much time hiding in as a child either.

It couldn't be there, not when what she needed was the comfort of family. So there was only one place she could be.

Which brings us here, and now. Top of the Hokage Mountain. The same stone faces her brother had vandalized some years prior. Concealed under a mild level privacy genjutsu, knees tucked into her chest arms wrapped around them barely holding herself together.

He dispels the genjutsu before speaking, his tone contemplative with a hint of sarcasm. "A nice view, although my personal favorite is the view from the Shodai's nose."

"I thought it was from your forehead? Isn't that what you told me last time?" A chuckle escaped his lips at her words and he took a careful seat next to the teen. She surprised him by inching just a little closer.

He took in her dishevel appearance in, a frown fought its way into his eyes. This was not what he wanted for her. "Ah yes, my forehead offer a good view as well." Her eyes were locked forward, and there were tears threatening to break at the corner of them.

How long had it been since she last cried? Last lost control of her façade and just let the mask fall. The last time he can remember is when she was still a small child before the mask had even taken place. She had always buried her emotions deep, but now the dam was full and just waiting to break.

The path she had walked up until now, the path of indifference was the trail painted with most agony and upset. It broke it's travelers until they could no longer continue, he had seen many shinobi be ruined because of this path. He did not want that for her.

Because he knew how much potential she still had and how great she could be. She just had to care first.

They sit in the silence for a while, one who doesn't know the words to say and the other willing to let her figure them out. Mitomi had always flourished in her silence, her thoughts and ideas had always taken her to new heights and they had also let fall the farthest.

"What did I do?" His eyes find hers, the uncertainty clearer than ever before. Still blaming herself for things far beyond reach, things she couldn't have any possible control over to begin with.

The question echoes and expands into so many possibilities, different layers, and levels of hurt. But he knows what one she's asking then. It's so simple.

She liked simplicities.

"Nothing. It is not your fault." And with those words uttered with conviction from one of the few people to actually care about her the levees gave way and the water came pouring out flooding all in its path.

He watched as she finally broke, gross sobs escaping her lips before settling into small whimpers. She buried her head into her knees. The Third wrapped his arm around her pulling her close to his side and sat there silently just letting her cry, offering her a safe place to loose herself with no fear of being exposed.

There were so much he had messed up with when it came to twins, mistake made, but he couldn't let that ruin either of them now. No matter what, he would keep his promise to their father. The Yondaime deserved that, after everything he had given for the village.

Hiruzen would do everything in his power to protect them now, even after his original failings. Because he knows there upbringing wasn't anything like what he had originally promised Minato it would be. He had failed before but he wouldn't do that now, not when they needed him.

He swore it.

After several minutes had passed her breathing had eventually evened out, a smile ghosted its way across his mouth. She had fallen asleep.

It was the most peaceful he had seen her look in some time.

 **XOXOX**

 **I think I need to explain somethings about the narration here and in the last chapter. So I'll start with this chapter, this is the perspective watching some grieve through three different outlooks all of which are equally important to the development to the story.**

 **For starters in the first section we have Tsunade who is their leader, it the perspective of someone watching there subordinate struggle but being unable to help be it position of just circumstance of the strife. They want to help and even though they are the highest power it is not their place too.**

 **The second is from the acquaintance/ friends whom you haven't been in constant contact with. They can see that something is obviously wrong, but they are disconnected with your trials and while there are concerned because you are no longer yourself, you haven't clued them in on what's going on and henceforth cannot even fathom being able to help you. Which is what's going on with team 10, because out of all of the rookie nine Mitomi has connected the most with them but she had intentionally kept her distance (as seen in previous chapters). In time you come to rely on this person more.**

 **The last is from the person who is if not most familiar with you fairly close and is ultimately the most equipped to help you through a difficult time. They know you the best, know what will hinder healing and what will help comfort you. This person is your biggest supporter, they want you to break free of your bounds and want you to push forward even while you grieve. This is your stronghold, because you don't always realize how much they care but they prove it during the hardest time of your life. This person can be multiple people too.**

 **So that's basically what all the little parts of this chapter are supposed to do and represent.**

 **Now rewind to the last chapter and any chapter where Mitomi's emotions have conflicted with things previously said or believed.**

 **Mitomi is a human being, who has tried to be a machine. Except humans have actual feelings and not even she can escape them. It's why I killed off Haku(as was the plan from the beginning), Mitomi had to realize this or else the story was going to continue being a conflicting narration from an almost unreliable narrator.**

 **The jumbledness and disoriented feeling you get from reading the last chapter or any chapter that conflicts is purposeful because people change. NO one truly stays exactly the same, sure we keep some of the same things but time changes everyone, grief changes perspectives, you cannot stay stagnate you have to keep moving forward.**

 **Living life like a cold unfeeling machine isn't living, Mitomi needed to realize that, because she needs to truly live if she wants to succeed. SO she will have to eventually compromise on what she believe to be core truths or else they'll hold her back. But that wasn't something she would come to see on her own she needed the push of a character death to do that to her.**

 **Now her whole being is conflicted, and she's a mess. Because lies you tell yourself hurt you the most.**

 **Alright I think that sums up everything I wanted to say on the matter!**

 **Thank you so much for reading!**

 **I love hearing from you guys so please, please, please let me know what you think!**

 **You are all the best.**

 **I apologize for any grammer or spelling or any mistakes, not proof read, gonna be honest, I don't have enough time to, so please forgive me.**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	20. Chapter 20

**.20**

 _"I don't really want you to understand... I just don't want you to be like, 'Oh, is that all'? I don't need people to get it. These feelings... are important to me, and they're just for me." **~ Koi to Uso**_

 _ **...**_

Her bare feet brushed the grass beneath them, eyes looking out towards the setting sun, lost in thought. He could sympathize with her look, but he kept his distance watching her from the doorway. His grandson was sitting next to the girl a small fox asleep in the boys lap, one of her three summons, the other two were present as well. One was content to lay at her other side while the smallest and newest one was curled around her neck.

It was a nice sight, she seemed so relaxed. Considering how wound up she had been the day before. A smile quirked at his lips as he listened to the story she was telling. Konohamaru seemed enthralled as well, he made no indication otherwise at least. Rarely had he seen his grandson so focused. Hiruzen would give her credit it was an amusing story.

"That's crazy! What did you do next?!" Konohamaru exclaimed his eyes wide. The girl finally turned to look at him offering his a smile.

"I talked to him, I mean at this point it was obvious he wanted to say something to me and what else was I going to do. The guy has like twenty years of experience over me and I was only a little older than you at the time. I knew better than to run." She laughs, it reminds him so incredibly much of her father.

"But you said he was the brother of Raikage! That makes him our enemy right?" A thoughtful frown set over her expression as she regarded the question.

"Technically we are at peace with Kumo right now." Hiruzen answered for her, she gave him a grateful nod before continuing.

"Your grandfather is right, we are at peace with Kumo at the moment and we were then too, the war had been over for almost a decade at that point. Besides it was a good opportunity to obtain some information." Konohamaru gave her an exasperated huff, crossing arms over his chest in the process. The fox in his lap gave him a squeak.

"I wanted there to be a cool fight." Hiruzen shook his head as did the girl, fighting Killer Bee of Kumogakure was never in ones best interest. The girl's father avoided it as often as he could during the Third war. It never really worked out for him though.

"Nope no cool fight there, but I did get my summon contract out of the meeting so that was awesome." A contract that had to be thoroughly analyzed before they allowed her to sign it. Hiruzen had not been able to get the full story of why the Hachibi host wanted her to have it either beyond the simple fact that it was an Uzumaki summoning scroll. At the time it was obvious there was more too it but she hadn't divulged that information and once the scroll had been cleared it hadn't mattered.

"But why? Why did he give it to you?" She seemed to ponder that question for a moment, as if to think of the right words to say.

"When Uzugakure fell the few survivors split up all going different ways, some ended up as nomads, others made new affiliation and many of them quit being shinobi altogether." She paused, taking a breath before continuing the explanation. "Bee-san had an Uzumaki partner for the mission he didn't run with his brother the Raikage, but after the third war ended his partner died. The scroll had belonged to them, an Uzumaki, and I guess he thought that it should be kept only by one." Her hand rested on the fox laying at her sides head, petting the fur gently.

Hearing that made everything much clearer to the Third, there had been no ulterior motive from the Hachibi host then. Not like he had expected.

"But how did he know you were an Uzumaki?" She snorted before shaking her head.

"Probably the hair, Uzumaki's were known for the outlandish red hair, also I have page in the Bingo book. You have to understand Konohamaru-kun unlike the others my age I have been a ranking shinobi since I was barely eight." An amazed look covered his face. Hiruzen chose that moment to clear his throat disturbing whatever question his grandson would think of next and capturing both of their attention.

"That's enough question Konohamaru, why don't we come inside to eat dinner." Dinner that had yet to actually be made.

Mitomi shook her head at him as if she knew of his distraction but stood carefully regardless. The small fox on her shoulder never moving, balanced perfectly. She ushered his grandson and two foxes back into the house before setting off in the direction of the kitchen.

He decided against following her and instead headed to the living room. His grandson trailed after the red headed jonin and he was left alone.

.

After dinner I thank the Sandaime for his show of compassion and I take my leave. No clear destination in mind I am left to wonder around the village at dusk. With a head full of worries and a heart filled of angst.

Sometimes memories are the worst form of torture, they hurt the most. The thought of what could have been, all the unanswered questions left in their wake. They blur the lines between past and present making you questions everything. But it is the memories of what would have been that haunt and torture me the most. It's the thought of where everyone would be right now if I had never existed. Because somewhere that is the case, an alternate universe where everything played out exactly as should.

I had seen it. I knew that somewhere in this vast universe such still existed.

That thought scared me more than it possibly should. Because I wondered, my thoughts always ended here.

Were they better off for it? Was that world better off for the reason that I didn't exist there?

I would never know the answer to that question, but certainly I would always wonder.

 **XOXOX**

 **A short chapter but a chapter regardless. I'm not too sure how I feel about this, but we will see. I hope you all like it, let me know.**

 **Thank you to everyone who still reads this and reviews. You guys are great!**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	21. Chapter 21

**.21**

" _Surely there must be limits to which one may sink."_ _ **~Fate/Zero**_

…

It was early, the sun had barely been in the sky ten minutes, that's how early was. Shikamaru rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he walked towards the gate. Asuma and the others we're already there, Ino and Choji seemed to be at the same level as awake as him this was going to be fun. He groaned. "You're late Shikamaru." Ino chastised in her usual tone as he grew closer.

"It's alright Ino, we're actually waiting for one more person." Asuma told her, to his own surprise. Shikamaru raised his brow. Who where they waiting for?

Just before he was going to voice his question the air around them shifted and in a low burst of chakra, that could only come from hairishin use, did she appear. Right behind him, but that wasn't what surprised him, no he was used to that by now. They lived in a village full of ninja that shit happened all the time. The fact that she had three foxes surrounding her also wasn't what surprised him. It was how she looked.

Suddenly what Ino was talking about two weeks ago comes flooding back in. This was not the red headed girl he remembered from the beginning of the year. The girl standing before them reminded him of a ghost.

"Apologies." Asuma nodded his head in acceptance. He knew that she had just gotten back from another mission only hours ago.

"Have you been briefed?" He asks instead, distracting his own team from her appearance. Because he knows that's what there all looking at right now and getting them back on track. Asuma was aware how bad she appeared, but if their Hokage was still allowing her to run missions there really wasn't much he could do.

The look he received was almost funny. "We'll brief on the way then." Shikamaru watched their exchange with interest. Something about the way both of them were acting was odd, as if they were both in on some secret that they weren't privy too.

This was going to be a drag. The Nara heir just knew it.

'mew' Shikamaru looked down then, a medium sized fox sitting patiently at his feet. That's when he finally noticed the size difference between all three of them. The smallest of the three was sitting on her shoulder, almost like a bird, just watching them and then the largest fox was standing alert at her feet.

"Ugh?" He so eloquently questioned looking down at the creature. She actually snickered at him then.

"You're not getting picked up." Shikamaru then realized the snickering wasn't for him. It was meant for the fox, who at the moment its master spoke turned to look back at her with the most betrayed expression. But nevertheless the fox stood and walked slowly back over to her.

"I see you finally got it signed." Asuma spoke, she merely smirked at him in response.

"Something like that. I can unsummon them if you think they'll be an issue." He shook his head.

"Nah, they'll be fine. Anyway it's best we probably head out now." He made a motion for everyone to follow him. Team 10 almost immediately behind him and then she took the rear.

..

The destination is a three day journey so they stopped to make camp in the evening of the first day. I take the first watch, even though I know that I'm more than likely at my limit. But at this point I need some time to myself and I know I won't actually be sleeping. That wasn't something I'd done in months.

'mew' I rub La's head as she nudges my hand like a needy puppy. Trying to put my mind at ease.

I miss the simplicities of my life, the one I lived before this. People did not notice me then, and I did not notice them. But ever since that mission its life the feeling has only gotten worse. I never wanted that, I didn't need there pity.

Asuma settles next to me on the log I had claimed as my watch post. We were still relatively close to the village and still in the Land of Fire borders that I hadn't felt the need to keep watch from a higher spot. Also, the girls would let me know if there was any approaching danger if I somehow did not sense it first. He holds out a cigarette, I take the rolled tobacco between my fingers just staring down into it for a moment watching as he lights it with a snap.

I use to smoke, in my previous life that is, at least I think I had. It's all sort of fuzzy now. But I have for a fact smoked a few times in this life. There was a certain calming effect from the tobacco smell that occasionally would ease some of my anxieties.

"Thanks." I mummer while bringing it to my lips.

"It'll kill you." He warns, and I know he's not talking about the smoking. I watch as he lights a cigarette for himself.

We sit in silence until the other three are asleep, it's only when he's certain that they won't over hear does he begin speaking again. At least that's what I assume is why he waits so long.

"I didn't really see it." I glance over at him, his words startle me a little.

"See what?" I cannot help but to be curious.

"The resemblance to your parents." For a brief moment I'm stumped. It always amazes me, just how many people new whose kids we were and still let us be threated the way we were. I have to remind myself that Asuma literally wasn't in the village during most of that time in order to keep from saying something I will most likely regret.

"You know." I can't keep the slight bitterness from my tone as I speak. Don't know if I really even tried too.

"Yeah. I'm sorry." He sounds sincere, I hate to believe him. But I do. I have no idea what I'm supposed to say to that either.

"Shikamaru has next watch, try to get some sleep when it's time." Asuma stands, he pats my shoulder before walking away.

I'm left on my own then. I use this time to go over my mission parameters. To figure out what exactly was going to be expected of me here. Seal work, possibly, or if it was something else. I needed to figure this out before we got to our destination, because I also had a different mission ongoing as well that I had to see too.

I let the cigarette light flicker out, the hours trickle by slowly. If it had just been me, or even just Asuma we wouldn't be making this stop. But the other three are still only chunin and they're not expected to go nonstop like a jonin would be.

It's because of the same reason that I've been able to run so many mission in the last couple of weeks. I'm not expected to take multiple breaks, and I can cut missions time in half. But doing that, living like that it wasn't advised. It was exhausting, physically and mentally.

I am tired.

..

She's leaning against the log by the time Shikamaru walks over to start his watch. Her head is leaned back and her eyes focused on the stars, she looks more at ease now than before. He shove's his hands into the vest's pockets while walking over. Slowly she looks away from the sky and through him. Shikamaru knows the difference.

Uzumaki Mitomi had never looked at him like that. No in that moment she looked straight through him as if he wasn't even there. She stood carefully the three foxes standing with her. He watched as she walked away without ever saying word.

He shook his head watching as she walked away. No matter how hard he tried he could fathom how in the world she'd been cleared to run missions. If her actions any indicator at least, there was no way she was even stable enough for it. She couldn't be. It just wasn't possible.

It just didn't make sense.

And how Asuma was acting, like they were keeping some secret. It was all just too weird.

He would get to the bottom of this. No matter what.

A curious Nara was a dangerous thing. Shikamaru would get his answers.

He had to.

Because what it seemed like they were doing to her, it just wasn't fair. To any of them.

 **XOXOX**

 **OH MY! I finally finished this chapter you guys, I've been working on it for so so long. Please let me know what you think and I'm so sorry for how long this wait was!**

 **I hope you all have a great day!**

 **If you were wondering that name of the three foxes are respectively from largest to smallest Kei(key), La, and Raa(rah).**

 **Thank you for reading! :D**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	22. Chapter 22

**.22**

" _You're wrong. It's not the world that's messed up; it's those of us in it. Yes, some ghouls walk a path that leaves sorrow in their wake, but just like humans, we can choose a different path altogether. We have a lot to learn, both your kind and mine. We need to stop fighting, and start talking. Because when it comes to the state of the world, you can't point your finger at ghouls or humans. We're all to blame."_ _ **~ Tokyo Ghoul**_

…

Ino by no means could say that she was all that familiar with the red head. Sure she's seen the Jonin around the village and remembered her from her brief time at the academy with the rest of them. But they were not friends. They weren't close, they didn't talk. All that being said it didn't take a genius to see that something was wrong.

Mitomi appeared to have lost at least twenty pounds, she looked dead on her feet with dark circles under her eyes, and hallowed out cheeks. The Yamanaka heir could not figure out how the teen had even been cleared for this mission in the first place. She had the vague recollection that her dad was the one who gave the other girl her last psyche evaluation. So it just didn't make sense, her father would have never allowed anyone in that sort of physical condition in the field.

For someone to get to that point physically meant the mental state was in full on disarray. That whatever inner turmoil they were dealing with was bleeding out. It was absolutely appalling to think that there village had allowed one of its shinobi to even get to that point and was still allowing them to run missions.

She wasn't the only one thinking this either. Ino knew her boys better than anyone, and she could tell they were all thinking about the same thing. What the hell was going on with Mitomi?

Ino cast one last look over at the younger girl. The red headed jonin was doing her best to ignore them, she had been since they set off this morning and the only person who could get anything out of her was Asuma-sensei. And he was just giving her whatever space she needed. It just didn't make sense.

This was supposed to be a team, even with the added member for this mission. But Ino couldn't shake the feeling that Asuma-sensei was hiding something from them about Mitomi, about what she was really doing on this mission.

A hand landed on her shoulder, Ino looked back at Choji who was watching the girl as well Shikamaru standing behind him. "It's best if we don't think about it right now." This wasn't something they were going to be able to piece together easily or if they got caught. Choji gave her a soft smile, he agreed with Shikamaru. Typical.

And as much as she hated to admit it, Shikamaru was right. They had other things to worry about.

..

I stayed at the back of the little group as we headed into the populated city. As we drew closer to the destination I let La and Ra return the summon realm. Kei remained at my side, my faithful companion. The oldest and largest of the sisters was a fierce protector, she would not allow any harm to befall me as long as she remained. I felt better having her here with me. Kei nudged my leg softy as we came to a stop in front of the place we were to be meeting our client.

I remained behind the group as we headed inside, I needed to figure out what kind of people we would be dealing with. They wanted a fuinjustu specialist, and so they got me, but I always had the last say in if I would give them what they desired. Self-preservation at its finest. Carefully a made an account of our surroundings. They painted a picture I was already beginning to hate.

"Greetings Leaf shinobi, my name is Tenzai Shou, I am here on the behalf of my client-" A man in diplomatic clothes begins. His voice is grating and shallow and I have already heard enough. This man is a representative of whoever our client is supposed to be.

I let the rest of his well-rehearsed speech drown in the back of my mind as I try very hard not to kill this man. I loathed politicians of any kind and that's what this creature standing before us was. He was not someone who I personally could work with, not someone I would be willing to make seals for. No matter what the reasons were.

I would never play with politicians again. No, never again.

"And who might you be?" Blinking I realize that this terrible guise of an actual human being is standing a few feet closer to my person that I appreciate. I take a second to remind myself that stabbing him through the eye socket is probably not in my best interest and lay a hand on Kei's head to calm her. Her fur is raised and her ears down. If given the chance or my approval she'd eat this man alive.

I just might let her.

I blink one more time, ignoring the man completely as I take in the looks of Asuma and his little team. They're a bit on edge it seemed, I wonder what this man said to make them like that. Finally I turn my head back to look him the eye. My own eyes narrow.

"Step back." There is a hint of a warning, and he only inches closer. I draw in a breath, turn on my heels and walk away. Team ten remains still in there spots watching my movements closely.

As I reach the door I look over my shoulder and meet this snakes eyes on last time. "The fuinjutsu specialist. Who will not be doing business with you." I leave them all standing there as Kei and I head back into the crowded city.

..

Asuma watches as she leave, that's it, he just watches. He doesn't try to stop her, doesn't allow any of them to go after her. Their sensei just let's her leave after what appeared to be disrespecting a client. Shikamaru frowns as they walk away from the building, his hands long stuffed in the pockets of his chunin vest. Ino and Choji are quiet.

"Asuma-sensei what was that?" Ino finally ask after they sit down in a small barbeque place to eat. Her eyes half curious and half concerned. Asuma actually sets his chopsticks down with the question a serious look takes over his usually jovial facial expressions.

"Her call, and I would have made the same one." Asuma is actually thankful that she did what she did, because he didn't know if he'd being able to work with a man like that.

If Mitomi had actually been paying attention the whole time, he positive she would have killed him. Some of the things that he had insinuated were just terrible, not to mention the obscurities the man threw at her as she left.

"But what about payment, he said they paid upfront?" Shikamaru questioned after a moment. Something just didn't make sense here. Asuma sighed while shaking his head.

"Missions that request a fuinjutsu expert at that level require half the payment of the mission of front and they are warned at the desk that the expert has the right to turn the mission down even upon arrival with no refund." Asuma wondered if those three realized how spares the amount of fuinjutsu users there were in the village and just how much Uzumaki Mitomi was requested for missions like this because of her specifies in that field were.

"Why did she say no?" It was Choji's turn to ask a question it seemed and before Asuma could offer them his best guess, the red head in question walked up. Apparently having heard a good majority of their conversation too.

"Because I hate politicians. Politicians get innocent people killed. They try to mess with things that they simply do not understand so therefore I do not work with politicians." She slid into the empty spot next the Asuma.

"We can leave in the morning if you still won't take the mission." Asuma tells her, Shikamaru watches. She furrows her brows together thinking, contemplating the next move. He briefly wonders what playing shoji would be like against her.

A thought he pushes away just a fast. Not the problem on hand.

"Unfortunately I do still have a mission here, but you and your team are welcome to return to Konoha at first light." She tells him while glancing up into the ceiling, Asuma frowns at her.

"I figured, how long do you need?" He questions. Shikamaru finds the whole exchange odd, what other mission did she have? Why weren't they told?

"Another day at most." She answers easily, never taking her eyes off the dirty ceiling. Asume lets out yet another sigh.

"I think we can manage another day." This time she doesn't reply, Shikamaru watches as she nods her head before sliding back out of the booth and leaves them.

The three chunin share a look then, one that their jonin sensei does not miss. Each thinking that same thing. What the hell is going on?

 **XOXOX**

 **What is Mitomi doing? That is what I'm sure you are wondering, and I promise that all will be revealed in time. Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think!**

 **Also if you were wondering about the anime or cartoon quotes I use, I haven't seen all of the titles associated with them. Just some.**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**

 **To everyone who reviewed the last chapter you guys are awesome and I love you!**

 **:D**


	23. Chapter 23

**.23**

" _Unfortunately, in reality there is no situation where one can win merely by following the rules. There will be knights that break the rules, and even chess pieces that betray him."_ _ **~Kuroshistuji**_

… _ **.**_

He watched her, careful to keep his distances. The others with her need not know of his presence here. But he knew he needed to speak with her. They had many things to discuss. Most importantly her last comment to him more than a year and a half ago.

She had been right. Of course he always had suspected, but to hear it confirmed. Well that was another matter entirely. So he waits, for the right time to reveal himself. He does not have to wait long.

"Uchiha Madara is a lie." This time the words are spoken softly, barely a whisper. But she speaks them with such certainty that it only reiterates the fact she knows. That she's always known.

Itachi nods his head in response to her words, confirming them. Allowing them justification. Her eyes soften, her lips fall into a frown, and she ever so briefly allows him to see a glimpse of her humanity. He knows that he is one of the few to see her like this.

He realizes that they are cut from a similar cloth, it's why he picked her brother. Because he knew she'd do whatever it took to save him. No matter the personal cost. Just like him, with what lengths he was willing to go to keep Sasuke safe.

"You knew." He draws the conclusion easily. She knew about him, about why he had to do what he did.

She nods her head. He watches her for a moment, she's smaller than he remembers, there are dark circles embedded under her eyes, and she altogether looks to be a completely different person. The look that lingers painfully in her eyes tells him that she's lost someone. Someone she cared about. He knows that feeling all too well.

"I do." Present tense, not past. Which means there is more to tell, more to what she knows. His eyes narrow slightly at her. She makes no move to be effected by it either, to her she has no reason to be afraid. As if her own life meant nothing to her.

Interesting. He wonders briefly what else she knows, how vast is the knowing of hers. A part of him could not wait to find out, the other part the more reasonable part never wanted to know. It is at that moment he realizes he does not have anything more to say to her, all his questions answered by her actions alone. His business here is finished.

As he begins to leave, she tilts her head to the side watching him, calculating what to do next, it's only when he's almost too far to hear does she offer her next piece. "He's a dead man, his days are numbered." Itachi almost turns back to ask her who exactly this 'he' is but he doesn't. The Uchiha already knows, a smirk dances across his lips then.

Interesting indeed.

..

Life is a bit like chess, for those new to the game you start by moving the pieces and praying. Praying for an outcome that will favor them, help them, and even teach them more. The more skilled, the champions, can calculate several different strategies for each move. They can predict the move of their opponent, and can come up with at least two different moves to help ensure their own victory.

When I had started down this path I always knew which type of player I was going to be. Neither. Chess was a game of playing fair, you play people usually at the same level as you. It gives better odds. The game is more enjoyable that way.

That's where life and chess are two very different entities. Life wasn't fair, there was no even playing field. Your opponent was always going to be bigger than you, better than you, and smarted than you. It was a good thing that I never believed in playing fair anyhow or else this would have been even more difficult.

If I had been given the same mentality as those my age, as my own brother. Everything would have been simpler. I'd never really like simple. Because I think I always knew how difficult my path would be. I always knew that slowly it was going to take everything from me, until the person I once was no longer remained. So I had accepted that darkness long ago, I made my peace with it and life went on.

At the end of the day we all had our demons, I of course chose to feed mine.

Silence washed over me as I watched Itachi walk away. My thoughts consumed me a bit and I had to remind myself then there was still work to do. But I remained for a moment longer just watching. Longer than need be. You could learn a lot by observing people as they walked away from you. I appreciated the lesson each time.

It also meant they put enough trust in me not to try and kill them. Interesting. Someday the right person was going to turn their back on me and I'll kill them.

The dawn is slowly cresting over the hills, a sign to move on. There was one more task to be completed before dusk. Time was of the essence. I had very specific instruction.

I'd promised Asuma my business here would be concluded at days end, and for what's it's worth I intended to keep my word. Always.

I turned my head from the now empty spot, it was time to go. There was no more need to linger here.

Luckily my destination was close and my target still asleep. I was a hunter and this was an easy target. Carefully I slipped into the house, taking stock. If this somehow went south I would be prepared.

It never did. Perhaps it was almost too easy. But at that moment I really didn't care.

He never saw it coming. They never did. Looking back at the now corpse I almost felt sorry for the man. But then I remember he was one of the people I hated most, someone who would try to hurt me or those I care about. There was never any client here for me.

There never had been.

It had all be a poor attempt of a trap. As if he thought I'd fall for it again.

Never again. A promised, no a vow.

I kept my promises, especially the ones I made to myself.

As I gathered the files and scrolls that were deemed useful or even interesting, I gave one last look to the man I had just killed. He looked like many of the people I had killed, well-educated and wealthy. Everyone looked the same when the light had been taken out of their eyes. They became nothing, a hollow of who they once had been. We all bleed the same. So I know that I should feel something, remorse, or shame, or anything at all. But to be honest that only thing I felt was hatred.

Maybe I truly was a demon. Perhaps the words spoken behind my back were true, that at the end of the day that's just how things are.

But.

I really hated politicians.

I hated people who thought they were somehow better than everyone else, as if the worlds was made only for them. If there monetary value somehow increased their worth as a human. It's those types of humans who get innocent people and even shinobi killed. Villages go to war for those types of people, or in some cases they are even run by those types of people.

These people were too easily controlled, a promise of power or money and you had them. Anybody had the capability to be bought. All you needed was the right price.

It's because of people like this man, people who crave power and influence that my Haku is dead.

That mission had been orchestrated to fail from the start, orchestrated by a person who wanted all the power he could get. Anyone who worked for him, who did his bidding, well there days just like his were numbered.

When the time is right, when I can finally get my hands around his throat. Well he's a dead man walking.

As long as he breathed, as long as I let him keep breathing he was a threat. To everything and one I held dear. He's already taken three people from me, my parents, Haku, I am not about to let him have anyone else.

No, he won't get that chance.

Not again. Never again.

As I told Itachi, this man, this vile human being well he is a dead man. I am going to kill him.

But unfortunately the time is not yet right, the board still shifted just slightly in his favor. So I wait. For the pieces to move into their carefully picked places, readying them for a fall. Waiting until just the right moment to strike.

Check.

I watch from a good distance as the entire house catches on fire, a faulty heating unit. A small smirk dances its way across my lips. The smell of smoke permeates the air and the fire only grows bigger. It is truly a beautiful sight.

Such satisfaction, getting to watch the labors of your hard work. To see just what all your effort was going to get you.

Even if it meant killing people to get there.

I never claimed to be a good person, I am not kind, I know that. I don't play by the rules nor do I care too. Of course I know I can never be like the rest of them. That what I have to do to ensure that Naruto has a good life is dark, and dirty.

I am alright with the revelation, I accepted it long ago because it means that I will do anything. No matter the personal cost. Even if I lose him, if Naruto comes to hate me, he'll be alive, he'll be safe and that's the only thing that matters.

That makes me a powerful player.

Checkmate.

 **XOXOX**

 **Mitomi is starting to return back to herself! Yay! This chapter was a lot of fun to write, I really had a blast with it. I haven't proof read this, I will eventually go back and do so but for now I am okay with it:D**

 **You guys thank you so much for reviewing the last chapter! It means so much to me how much you all think of this story. I am so glad that there are you who like it. You guys are so awesome!**

 **Please continue to let me know what you think! Once again thank you so much for all your kind words!**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	24. Chapter 24

**.24**

" _You know, I discovered something. Everyone has something... Something deep inside their hearts. For some, it might have been enmity. For others, admiration. Wishes, a craving for the spotlight, feelings that one wants to deliver, feelings for one's mother. Everyone was supported by their own feelings. I realize now that, perhaps, no one can stand alone on stage."_ _ **~ Your Lie in April**_

…

In the last few days Shikamaru cannot really think of a time he had seen the red head so irate, to be honest he'd never seen anyone look as annoyed as she did in that moment. That said something considering who his own mother was. All though he really did not blame her, they had only been back in the village for maybe an hour when a new mission scroll had been shoved into her face by an almost equally annoyed chunin core member.

It was sort of ridicules and it looked like the chunin who was trying to hand her the scroll agreed. He watched as she drew in a deep breath, her eyes closed briefly and he missed whatever it was she said next to the man because the door to the mission's office slammed open to reveal what appeared to be the Third's grandson and friends.

The little boy ran straight up to her a wide grin on his face. Shikamaru was actually surprised by that, but what surprised him even more was when she smiled back. Mitomi actually smiled. There isn't a point that the Nara heir can ever remember that happening to anyone other than Naruto.

"Big sis, look!" Konohamaru exclaimed excitedly pointing at his new forehead protector. She just grinned at him before speaking.

"Congratulation Maru-kun, and too you all as well." She extended the smile to the little boy's two friends, before looking back over at the chunin who was waiting for her to resume their spat.

Shikamaru watched as she affectionately patted the boys head as he protested the name she had called him. After another few minutes of listening to the boy ramble she told them if they were trying to hide from Ebisu then they needed to get going. He could have laughed at their faces as they dashed out of the mission's office. The amused look on her face vanished as soon as she turned her full attention back to the chunin.

"This can't wait one day?" She was asked again, this time Shikamaru and Asuma had walked over. Because this was ridicules. At least he thought it was.

Could they really not see how drained she was? Surely there was someone else who could take this mission. There was always someone else. Right?

"I'm sorry Uzumaki-san but it cannot, these are your orders directly from the Hokage. It's very important that you leave today. You are expected to be there the day after tomorrow." She snatched the scroll from the chunin's hand almost growling at him as she did so.

He took his earlier statement back, this was the most irate he'd ever seen anyone.

"Fine. I need an hour to repack and restock on supplies. Whatever poor bastard has to go with me better be ready at the gate by then." She disappeared in a swirl of white petals after that. The man sighed.

The chunin then turned his eyes on the Nara, a tired look on his face. "You heard her." Shikamaru wanted to groan. Because of course it was him. What a drag. He nodded his head and walked away sure that Asuma could get the information out of the chunin without his help. Whatever that pertained.

He had a mission to prep for apparently.

"Do you know how long she's been in the village in the last month?" Asuma asked after a moment of thought, he would be getting to the bottom of this. That poor girl was tired, she needed a break and if they didn't give her one soon then she was going to have a major meltdown. It wouldn't even compare to the small fracture she had a month ago.

That wasn't something any of them wanted to see.

The chunin sighed, deeply, as if what he was about to say bothered even him. "All together maybe two days." Asuma had to take a step back and a deep breath to keep from saying something. No one, especially someone of her age, should be made to suffer like that.

The jonin nodded his head, there would be talk about this. He was sure once the others found out they wouldn't be pleased. Her shishou especially, he wondered then if the man even knew what was going on with her. If he didn't he was about to find out.

It had been six months since that disaster of a mission that got her promoted to full Jonin. Yes he knew about it, everyone with a high enough rank did. And for it being the way it was, with the one singular lose it caused, she in the moment despite the rumored nine-tails onslaught handled the situation as well as any of them could.

His mind was set, this was ending now. Because no one should have to do this, this wasn't a time of war and she was just one person. If they weren't careful they'd turn her against them. Asuma never wanted to see that happen.

The Sarutobi heir respected her late parents too much to allow that to happen to her. He may have been gone for majority of their childhood, and that would always haunt him just a little so he intended to make up for it. Her and her brothers lives could have been so much better, should have been better and after everything they both have suffered he wasn't going to let them be alone anymore.

Naruto was easy he made his place in the world, he had the support of those their own age. He was so much like both of his parents that it would be hard not to like him. In time everyone would be rutting for him. That thought made Asuma smile just a bit.

He wanted to see them succeed. He wanted all of the younger generation to succeed, but not only that he wanted them to be better than they were. And observing them, all of them maybe they stood that chance.

Except Mitomi, if no one helped her then she would never get that opportunity. She deserved it, probably more than any of them. But unless something drastic happened, unless someone stepped in, she was never going to get it.

That thought alone hurt more than any scar. Everyone deserved to be seen. To find their own place in the world.

Maybe he was being overzealous, perhaps he was over thinking the situation. But he didn't care. Asuma had the feeling that the others wouldn't either. That they would agree with him and that was all the motivation he needed.

Everyone needed to be saved sometimes.

Even from themselves.

 **XOXOX**

 **A short chapter I know, I'm sorry. But you guys I am so excited about the direction this story in going in and I am super pumped for what is to come next! Your kind words and reviews have been so motivating to write more chapters, thank you so very much for them! You guys are awesome:D**

 **SO what do you think of this? What do you think will happen next?**

 **Stay tuned to find out:D**

 **Also I wanted to address a question made in a review froma earlier chapter, the why? Why was Mitomi stuck in the village for almost a year?**

 **The simple answer is this: Mitomi is a high risk shinobi. She is a jinchuriki who has absolutely no ties to the village Hidden in the Leaves except for Naruto. So the wanted to keep an eye on her, to ensure she wouldn't betray them if she ever made it to a higher rank (anbu). Unfortunately for them she wouldn't accept the promotion to shadow ranks and that plan sort of backfired and served not a lot of purpose except to allow her to perfect her sealing and other pursuits.**

 **So yah. Hope that helps:D**

 **To explain Asuma's behavior. I just don't think if he had been in the village during that time he'd allowed that to happen. I just don't think it's possible. To ignore a child, the child of the man who literally just saved everyone's asses yeah I just don't think it's possible. Because Asuma would have known who Naruto was, how could he not know his own father was the third Hokage for crying out loud! His mother died to bring this baby into the world. So I just believe that if Asuma had been in the village instead of with the fire priest or whatever they're called he would have done something.**

 **Kakashi not doing something makes sense, he literally had just lost every single person he cared about. It's shitty, and stupid, but it makes dumb sense and he was younger than everyone else in his age group. Also Kakashi own mental state was sort of terrible. Look at all the mistakes he made with team 7 as genin and then think did we really want someone with that sort of emotional stupidity to raise Naruto?**

 **I love Kakashi do not get me wrong. His character is one of my favorites, but the guy is a mess. He needed support just as much as Naruto did and neither one got it.**

 **I am just going to leave it at that, please don't hate me.**

 **If you are wondering about things or are confused about something that isn't specifically stated, I want to know. I lot of the writing of this is based off of what is implied, the subtext. So it gets confusing and completely understand so if you have questions ask and I'll be happy to answer!**

 **Thank you again for reading this you guys are so awesome!**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	25. Chapter 25

**.25**

" _The two of us aren't so different. My whole life I've desired from others. I felt bitter to the people around me and I closed off my heart...and a heart that lets nothing in..will become empty before you realize it. But in this world, you'll sometimes meet meddlesome people who will, even without asking, give you the love you need. And for someone like you or me, meeting such a person is very blissful."_ _ **~Citrus**_

…

If you still have hope that this somehow all works out for me, that there is some form of greater power out there that someone somewhere is looking out for me. Then you're sorely mistaken. There is no greater power, no guardian angel, no one to save me. There never has been. Not in this life or the last.

And if there were, if this greater power actually existed and that is a huge IF. Then they are a gigantic asshole. I have lived my entire life looking out for myself, protecting myself, guarding myself, and they have never shown their face not even once. If they are there out than they are too late.

I cannot be saved. I am not savable.

There is no end where this works out for me. Because it is not about me, I do not matter. It has always been about him. It will always be about him. He can be saved, he can be good, they will love him, and they will accept him.

There is still a chance for him.

There has to be.

Because if there's not one, if he has no chance. Then everything I have ever done will be all for nothing. My pain, for nothing, my tears, my blood, all it for nothing. I cannot allow that to happen. If he has no chance, then we are all doomed.

I save him.

That has to be enough. Because it is the only chance I've got.

No, no it's not.

It can't be.

This cannot be my only chance. No.

Then it hit me, hard, fast, and merciless. The truth. The undeniable truth.

I am not this selfless. I'm not selfless, I'm not kind, this is not who I am. This is not who I have ever been.

Yes I still wanted to save him, to protect him, I wanted that more than anything. But at some point something had to give.

Because I am selfish, I am. Everything I have ever done has been done to feed my own desire. Naruto would have never wanted any of this for me. He would hate that I suffering because of him. My brother if he knew he would have told to stop, to take care of myself first.

Because he is that selfless, that kind, that good. I could never be that good.

I want to be selfless, I want to be like him, I want for all this to be true. I wanted to be able to say that I was okay with everything that has happened. That it didn't matter to me what happened to me, that everything was fine. I wanted this so badly, that I forgot who I am.

That's the truth. I have no idea who I am anymore.

Perhaps I never really have.

These doubts don't leave me as I make way to the gate. They don't leave once I arrive, and they don't leave as I am face to face with my companion for this trip. I know my feelings are all over my face, I know that I look terrible, how could I not? I could see my reflection, I knew.

Of course I knew. I always knew.

His eyes are concerned, it's an easy emotion to read. It looks a lot like pity. I have to remind myself that it probably isn't. Shikamaru has no idea what is going on inside my head. No one knew that.

We don't speak, not for a long time. I think that maybe he can see that there is something wrong. That there are things that I have to deal with before I am ready to speak. We've got until mid-day tomorrow to go over mission details so there is time. Time to let me fester in my own head. To stew on my thoughts.

Suna is a least a two day trip.

I have a great amount of respect for the brunette. Really I do, because it takes a great deal of trust to allow someone to work through their own issues. You trust them. You trust that they know what they needed. Right now I needed silence, and he could tell that. He was giving me that.

It was a kindness that I hadn't been given in a long time.

No one else had given me that. They all just kept poking, trying to get me to break trying to get some sort of reaction from me. I knew they meant well, I'm not that arrogant or stupid. But it just wasn't what I needed right now.

I needed my solidarity, I needed to figure this out on my own. Of course I was still willing to do whatever was necessary. Even if what was necessary made my brother hate me, I would still do it. That wouldn't change. But did I really need to lose myself in the process?

No, no I don't.

I could still be me, I could be better and still do what was necessary. I didn't have let go of my humanity to do so, I just have to remember that.

Life isn't fair, that's fine. It doesn't have to be fair. The rules do not have to matter either though. These are things that I have already accepted.

I wanted too much. The sudden realization hits me. This startling realization hits so hard that it actually surprises me and my foot doesn't make solid contact with the next branch. I fall, this is not metaphorical either. It is a real physical fall from an ungodly height, and there aren't any branches close enough to jump too or catch myself on.

This is going to hurt.

The pain never comes. I never hit the bottom.

He catches me. It's very strange, this feeling, well actually all of the onslaught of feelings I am now suffering from. It's a weird mix of everything and it burns inside my veins. I am not overly found of it at that moment.

It makes me feel week.

Shikamaru lands us safely on the forest floor. He doesn't let go until my feet are firmly planted in the dirt.

Suddenly I feel very exposed and a bit embarrassed. His eyes are filled with concern. It makes me a little sick. Not many people have given me that look and meant it.

"Are you alright?" He sounds sincere, there is no snide remark to follow or sarcastic undertone. Just sincerity.

His question hits a little more than it should, probably because of the thoughts that wouldn't leave.

Am I alright?

The simple answer was yes, that I was fine. The answer I should have given, what I would have given had this been any other day. If he was any other person. If I actually believed he would believe that. We both knew that that answer was most certainly a lie.

So instead, I offer a more complex answer. For myself at lease. One that I maybe believed to be true. "I will be. Thanks."

I realized that none of it really mattered. Not if I died while over thinking all of it. I had to move forward. I'd put too much work into all of this just to fail because of my own insecurities.

I had to let it go. Or else the king would fall and I would never allow that to happen.

"Good we can take a break if you need it, I'm sure they want you in one piece when we get there." I give a nod while pulling a water canteen from a scroll.

"Sure, a few minutes won't hurt." There is an odd look in his eyes, but I don't pay in any more attention than need be. Whatever it is, it will be okay.

"Take as long as you need." He tells me. The look gone.

Everything was going to be alright. I could do this.

Suddenly, I am no longer Atlas holding the entire weight of the sun. The burden on my shoulders a little lighter, the burning sensation a little softer, it is a huge relief. I haven't felt this free, not in a very long time. For some reason it feels as if there is someone lending a shoulder, sharing the sun. I get this sudden thought, it scares me just a bit, but perhaps I am not alone.

This thought comforts me. It's strange to feel like this, I can't remember a time when I have felt like this. But if I'm being honest, I rather like it.

And I can't help it. I don't think I want too either.

I smile.

 **XOXOX**

 **This chapter man, this chapter. Oh my gawd! Finally! Character growth! If I do say so myself. It is about damn time. Moody Mitomi is not easy to write and everything is just about to start changing! You guys I'm so so excited about this. If you could just see what I have stuck in my head for this, and I can't wait to share it with all of you! Please let me know what you think!**

 **I can't wait to hear from you:D**

 **Thank you for taking your time and reading this, you guys are amazing!**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	26. Chapter 26

" _The ones who accomplish something are the fools who keep pressing onward. The ones who accomplish nothing are the wise who cease advancing"_ _ **~ Rokudenashi Majutsu Koushi to Akashic Records**_

… _._

 **.26**

He had not been wrong.

Which did not make him feel any better. Because truth be told he wished he had, he wished that he was just overreacting to the situation. Wished that it wasn't really as bad as it seemed. But it was, he was right.

Asuma hated that feeling. Hated the feeling of dread he got when the others agreed with him. Because it meant they now had a problem. A big problem.

Uzumaki Mitomi was in trouble.

And if he was being honest, Asuma didn't know if he could even save her from it. He didn't know if she'd accept the help or if she'd ignore it and push them further away. But he had to try, they had to do something.

She was heading down a path that promised pain, a path he didn't know if she'd be able to return from.

The terrible truth, the simple but terrible truth too was that they made her like this. They didn't stop the abuse the twins suffered. Their generation ignored them and they were about to face the consequences. So they couldn't just keep on ignoring the girl.

He had the feeling that if they did, they would surely regret it. She was a force to be reckoned with. They had all seen it, the way she cared about Naruto and now they were beginning to see the lengths she was willing to go.

Even if it meant harm to her own self, even if it hurt her. She would still do it. The chunin exams were proof of that. Asuma has no doubt that if Mitomi hadn't intervened when she did that his father would be dead.

She willingly took on one of the Sannin someone out of her own skill level, risking her own life in the process just to make sure the Third lived. He knew she did it for Naruto too, knows that if the Third had not been so important to her brother, that she would never have done anything.

That thought scares him, more than it should. But he knows that if anything were to happen to her brother, then she would no longer have a reason to stay.

He knew that if she didn't have a reason, then she wouldn't. And just like that, not only would one of the brightest minds the village has ever produced be gone but they would also be down both of their jinchuriki.

Asuma never wanted to see that happen. No he wouldn't. Even if it was the last thing he'd do, he'd help the girl find her place in their world.

"Asuma?" Kurenai's voice reaches his ears, he meets her eyes. Concern lingers in her expression and a tiny bit of confusion. She doesn't understand why this is so important. It's easy to tell.

He doesn't know either, all he knows is that it is.

They had to save her.

"Everything is going to be alright." She tries to tell him as the leave the Jonin lounge, and he wants to believe her, truly he does.

But in that moment, with everything in the air, with all the doubts pressing on his mind. He really couldn't.

"Let's get a drink."

Because he really needed one just then.

Kurenai nods her head, eyes still confused, but she follows him anyway. She doesn't understand why this is so important to him, why now? The genjutsu mistress cannot help but to feel like she's missing something.

But if it was important to Asuma, if he thought there was something wrong, then she'd take his word for it and offer whatever help she could.

..

" _Sand…"_ Shikamaru looked sideways at her as they made their way up to the front gate of the Village Hidden in the Sand. The look on her face was absolutely priceless. He's never heard her whine before, not like that.

He didn't know that on person could hate sand so much. She's been grumbling about it since the left the land of Rivers. Even if she cheated and used teleportation jutsu throughout majority of the desert. The Nara shook his head.

He still felt a little sick from the backlash of the jutsu. Shikamaru still wasn't sure how there were so many hairishin seals in the desert or how the lasted since according to Mitomi the last mission she'd taken here was over five years ago. Long before the Chunin exams and well before she'd even started her training to use the Fourth's favored technique.

He had a vague idea, but he wasn't a hundred percent sure.

"Are you going to make it?" The question was asked out of sarcasm and she just gave him the blankest look. Her response was almost just as eloquent as the expression on her face.

"Ugh... probably.." She seemed to think about it for a moment after and just as she was about to say something else. Probably pithy, there was suddenly a flying puppet heading there way effectively cutting her off.

Her look only soured as she easily dodged the wooden beast. Two people came into view, he recognized them both as the Sand siblings they fought during the chunin exams. Man he really wished to be somewhere else right now.

"Kankuro! What are you doing?" The brunette went on some rant about thinking they were intruders or something. Mitomi had mentioned briefly that their cheat through the desert had speed up their arrival time by half a day or so and it was also later in the evening the sun had just began to set. But even so, if they were intruders this wouldn't be a good time to attack.

He watched as Mitomi pinched the bridge of her nose, her eyes closed briefly. Shikamaru got the feeling she was trying to resist the urge to either maim or kill the brunette. Instead Mitomi turned her entire attention to the blonde.

"Temari." Her tone short.

"Thank you for coming." Mitomi appears to be holding back something sarcastic to say, probably along the lines of 'As if there was a choice'. He knows that he's thinking it. Because the mission desk chunin made it very clear that she hadn't had one.

"Does the Kazekage want our immediate audience? Because I was pulled from another mission and have spent the last day in the desert." She asked instead of responding to the previous comment made by the blonde. Shikamaru get the impression that the red head doesn't do diplomacy well. Temari grimaces at the younger girl.

The choice of sending him with her was now made very clear. They didn't trust her to represent Konoha's interest or protect its reputation. To her credit with the exception of her last comment she'd been doing alright. He bit back a groan.

Man… This really wasn't what he wanted to be doing.

He realized that it suddenly grew very quiet between them and very tense. His eyes glanced over at the red head, she had a sort of glaze over look in her eye. As if she wasn't fully present or the more likely was that she had lost interest. Temari was glaring at her too. She appeared annoyed.

Obviously she didn't appreciate Mitomi making this mission seem like a huge inconvenience. Even though it was. He hadn't forgotten the look on her face at the gate or the one when she fell.

"No, Lord Gaara wasn't expecting you until tomorrow." Temari bit out, her tone strained.

Maybe he should intervene. But that really sounded like it was going to be a huge drag.

"Wonderful." Mitomi replied, although she didn't sound like she really meant it.

He wondered if she was intentionally pissing off someone who was supposed to be their ally. From what he knew about her, she probably was. Mitomi needed to know how far she could push, she thrived off it sometimes. Or at least it seemed that way. What else could all her observing have been for?

"If you'll follow me, we'll get the two of you signed in at the gate and then Kankuro will show you to the hotel." Temari made a motion with her hands for them to lead going through the gate.

Shikamaru sighed then, in utter exasperation at the look on Mitomi's face. Yeah, she wasn't about to turn her back to them. Or anyone for that matter.

"How about you lead? We'll follow, you know the way better than us." He suggested then, resisting the urge to face palm at the situation he didn't even understand how they got in in the first place.

Women.

Mitomi gave a slight nod of thanks in his direction. She allowed all of them to walk in front of her, so she was directly behind him as in close enough to touch him. He had a feeling that the placement was intentional. That if she thought for one second they were in harm she'd just move them out of the way.

The look on her face just added to his suspicions.

"Very well, this way." Temari shot the younger girl a cautious look, to which Mitomi either didn't notice, or ignored.

Yep. This was going to be such a drag.

 **XOXOX**

 **SO heads up, laptop is close to death, so I had to order a new charger. That being said any spelling or grammar or really anything thing that doesn't look or sound right is because this has not been proof read and it will be awhile before I can. Sorry in advance.**

 **Warning! I have no idea what anime that quote is from, I have never seen it. I just found it on a site and thought hey that sort of fits/that will work. I apologize if it is taken out of context or if the anime is somehow offensive or whatever. Haven't seen it so I don't know.**

 **My bad.**

 **Moving on!**

 **Thank you so much for all your kind words from the last chapter, and all of your favorites and follows it means so much to me that you're all still interested in this story.**

 **Thank you!**

 **I'll come back and edit all this later.**

 **As for now I hope you have a great day/night!**

 **Thanks for reading.**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	27. Chapter 27

" _There are only so many lives I can value. And...I decided who those people were six years ago. So...You shouldn't try to ask for my pity. Because right now, I don't have...Time to spare or room in my heart."_ _ **~Attack on Titan**_

 **.27**

The following morning, when the sun had just barely begun to crest the sky, far earlier than either one of us would have appreciated being awake. After we were half rested and in decent appearance, Shikamaru in his normal chunin wear and myself in a skirt/short combo and off shoulder crop top minus a jonin vest, only then did we go to our meeting with the Kazekage. When Temari had said first thing in the morning, I hadn't realized she'd been so literal.

Because of course when I was finally tired enough to maybe fall in a pit of dreamless sleep, it was cut short.

It was easy to tell by the look on both our faces that we really didn't want to be here. Well at least to me it was. There were so many other things that I'd rather be doing right now.

As in there was about a million and two other things I could be extending more energy over, plans to be made, gardens to be watered. They were more important to me than having to play diplomat in a village that's own leader had tried to kill my brother. Everyone seemed to have forgotten that though, but if Naruto hadn't beaten Gaara then he would have been seriously hurt or killed.

That didn't sit well with me. It wasn't something I could just easily forget even though the forgiveness had already be given. Naruto was a far better person than I was.

So with all of that in mind, you can possibly see why I didn't want to be here. To make matters worse my own person had been attacked yesterday upon our arrival. Only an idiot would believe it to be a mistake or accident.

I wasn't an idiot.

Even if the attack hadn't been meant to kill me, I knew when someone was trying to settle a score. Kankuro really was an idiot. He was a worse diplomat than myself it seemed. That said something since most of my 'diplomatic' mission ended up with me killing someone. Maybe diplomatic mission weren't the right word for them.

I tilt my head sideways to peer up at Shikamaru, he had been unusually quiet since arriving at the hotel last night. He shouldn't still be feeling side effects from exposure to hairishin use. Those should long be worn out.

No this silence had been methodical. It reminded me of someone trying to figure out a complicated puzzle that pieces had been missing from for years. But when he looked at me I felt like I was the pieces missing from whatever puzzle he was trying to put together. I don't know how I feel about that.

In the sake of preserving what little sanity I have left I ignore this feeling and get back to the matter at hand. The reason I had been called the Suna so promptly, what exactly I was supposed to be doing here. Let me tell you, I didn't like it, not only was it going to take time, it was also going to take a great deal of patience. Considering I was going to have to work closely with these three idiots.

Mainly just the Kazakage, but I had this feeling that his older siblings would be hovering obsessively. Of all the times to start actually caring for your sibling. Idiots.

Man, I really just wanted to go back to the leaf village. Instead since that obviously wasn't going to happen any time soon I take a deep breath. This was going to be such a nuisance, I give a small sigh.

Everyone was waiting on me to say something, if there expressions where any indication. I'd let them revel in silence long enough while I considered my options. Regardless of the fact there really wasn't a choice in the matter for myself. I was going to have to do as asked no matter my own personal feelings.

"Before this goes any further, before I agree to do what you are asking of me. You and I need to have a conversation. Alone." From one jinchuriki to another. Words I don't say but I know he can hear. My eyes meet the fellow red head, they've iced over I'm not playing games.

Both of his siblings are giving off the vibe of either disapproval or distrust but I don't focus on them, my eyes still on his. I have to know his personal agenda for this, all the cards need to be on the table. With them in here, with anyone in here but us I don't expect him to be honest with me.

I couldn't work with that.

I needed to know the entire situation, I needed to know everything. I needed his honesty.

So while I had a good idea as to why he wanted this, I liked verbal confirmation from time to time. It usually proved me right. I liked being right.

There was my narcissism rearing its ugly head again. Joy.

"That is acceptable." He gives a nod to his siblings, they leave with slight reluctance.

"Yes Lord Gaara." Temari responds. But she doesn't appear too thrilled by it and which doesn't surprise me. In a very older sibling manner adds this. "We will be right outside." I'd have to place a privacy seal then, stronger than the ones currently in this office. This conversation wasn't privy to anyone else.

Shikamaru gives me a slight inclination of his head before he follows them out of the room. Well at least he's still trusting my judgement despite what puzzles he was trying to piece to back together. While probably not the smartest decision he's made, it was a nice notion.

I slap one of my strongest privacy seal down on the Kazekage's desk, leaning over it slightly. Yes I carried stronger than probably necessary privacy seals on my person all the time. No I wasn't paranoid. Just realistic. Some conversations were only meant for specific ears. I knew when I needed it and when it was over kill.

This was one of those times. We would be discussing tailed beast and jinchuriki seals after all. I didn't think that information needed to be out in the open for everyone else. That was dangerous, this information was dangerous. So because of our status we were realistically the only ones who needed to know.

I want to say that he raised his brow, but considering the boy Kazekage didn't really have them that wouldn't be the right phrasing. His eye rose? No that sounds weird, just know he made a face at the seal or at me. I wasn't sure.

I'd leaned in rather close. I apparently had no concept of personal space for other people.

"I'm going to be blunt. What are your intentions here?" This was something I had to know. He wanted me to modify his seal. I had to certain of the why before I agreed to anything.

I have no Idea what happened in canon after they left the village from the chunin exams. No Idea what happened to the sand siblings between then and the start of Shippuden but I knew that at some point Gaara had gained either a better understanding of his own seal and was controlling it better or someone had fixed it.

The Ichibi seal was a really messed up sealing job, it's why Suna should never be allowed near fuinjutsu in the first place. It just wasn't there forte.

Also I needed to make sure that doing this would not hurt my careful laid plans. If I did this, it could come back to bite me in the ass. I had to make sure that it wouldn't. I couldn't afford to lose pieces, the sand siblings well at the moment that's all they were to me.

Pieces on a board to be moved.

A lie, or a partial one.

He took a deep breath and in a quiet but very genuine voice he admitted this. "I miss dreaming." My resolve softened just a small bit, my expression as well. I understood that. I knew how that felt.

Because while our seals were very different, by sheer level of skill of the person who placed them, location, and the fact that his was bleeding more into his conscious mind than ours ever had. Dreaming was something that people like us, broken people like the Kazekage and I didn't get to do. People like us, we rarely got restful enough sleep to even allow that in the first place. The unfortunate fact of how his seal was done didn't help him either.

"I see." Truly I did. This was something that I could be willing to help with then.

Not because I wanted to, because really I didn't. It wasn't even because I related to the situation, to him. No I could never do something like that, not if it only benefited me. I just couldn't. Because that was a selfishness I could not afford to allow its existence; that kind of feeling couldn't exist within my own person. It was dangerous. The things I did they had to better the cause, to add to the bigger picture, it was the only way for me.

This luckily had that possibility. Also I knew that doing that allowing this would make Naruto happy. Gaara was someone he had extended his care to. He had included the red headed Kazekage on his list of precious people, people he would fight for.

No matter how annoying that made this for me. As I mentioned before, I really could be other things, more beneficial things. Things that didn't involve me being surrounded by sand.

But here I was, about to offer my assistance extending my time trapped here. Knowing that it would take away my ability to leave, and that would be a complete nuisance. All because I knew there was chance to could Naruto happy.

Somethings never really changed.

"So you will help?" His expression is curious, as if my motives weren't clear to him. As they shouldn't be. I take second to reply as if to think about it when i already know what my answer would be. Build suspense, it's more dramatic that way.

"Yes. I will. But there will be rules, there are precautions that have to be taken and followed exactly as I lay them. Jinchuriki sealing, and all the fuinjustu that is required is very precocious." It's a warning, a simple one.

He'd have to follow my rules, he'd have to. Or else this wouldn't work. It was his life in the balance here and if he didn't listen he'd lose it. Tailed beast and all. Jinchuriki based seal work was dangerous, there were repercussion, some that could and couldn't be avoided. Two different lives were in the balance. And because they weren't on good terms it made it all the more dangerous, at every turn if I made any mistake even the smallest thing there was a chance the Ichibi could escape.

Maybe I could convince him to try and talk to the one tails, it would help. They needed to be on the same page. The host and its monster needed to work together, to communicate. This is what I'd been dreading, having to explain this to him. He'd never understand. Gaara had been conditioned to believe the Ichibi was a monster and he was his guard.

When that wasn't the case, not all of it. But how was I going to explain this to him when I had barely done anything but the minimum to get along with Yin Karuma. Up until six months ago we weren't even on good talking terms. In light of what happened, with my loss of control, a lot of that had changed.

But still, it was hypocritical of me. I was asking too much. This world had been conditioned to hate tailed beast and their own host included. I push the though away, we will deal with it when we get there. At the moment we weren't even close to there.

"Thank you." I give a half nod, only slightly paying attention now. There is so much work to be done.

"Don't thank me yet." I mutter, removing the seal and pushing myself away from the desk. At his startled expression I take pity on him.

"It's a process, a long one. This is going to take time." I give another warning. Because he needs to know. He nods his head in acceptance of this fact, he takes it a bit further then.

"I am willing to do whatever it takes." He sounds serious, everything about him is serious in feel. My own brow rose, perhaps in surprise. I want to believe him really I do.

But I couldn't not fully, those were big words. Fighting words. And I wanted him to mean them, truly. I hoped they weren't empty because to change anything then he really needed to mean them. Most people didn't.

There is a look in his eye. A fierce one, and I have the tiniest pit of what you might consider to be hope. Perhaps he wasn't most people. "Very well." I had already started to head to the door, there was no more to be said now.

Temari and Kankuro step in just as I am beginning to leave I give them a slight nod and I glance once more over my shoulder to look at the Kazekage. The determined look still there. I give a slight nod to him before shutting the door behind me and heading into the hall in search of Shikamaru.

I think it was time for lunch.

I'd drop the news that the mission had been extended to him then. He probably wouldn't be happy. I knew I wasn't and it was because of me that it just got extended.

As I approach he looks up, a bored expression across his face. But there is something else there. Something that I can't really discern at that time, not surrounded like this, in the open. I put a pin in it.

"Lunch? I know there's a decent barbeque place here." He nods his head. I accept his silence, he falls into step behind me. This would probably going to be the last peaceful meal I had while here.

Something about his expression made me think he shared that sentiment. Which was interesting since beside the bureaucratic bullshit he really wouldn't be doing much. We'd probably only be here a month at max, and other then the glare I caught from Temari on my way out I didn't really see a problem.

You know what I take that back, he was probably going to have to deal with her, which was worse than anything I had to do. There was something about the blonde that I didn't like. She really rubbed me the wrong way. It probably had something to do with what I'd remember from the show. But I couldn't place what it was other than maybe the fact of how two faced she'd been.

A sigh escapes me, something else to think about.

This was going to be so tedious, I was already dreading it.

 **XOXOX**

 **I finally have a new charger for my computer and while it was not working I wrote this chapter in a note book. I didn't think it was going to be this long. Anyway I hope you guys like it. As always I love hearing from you all.**

 **Warning: Not proof read, posted quickly before work. Thanks for your understanding.**

 **So please keep letting me know what you think!**

 **Have a wonderful day!**

 **Sincerely, LaRae**


	28. Chapter 28

" _It's your choice to take this personally."_ **~Rick and Morty**

…

 **.28**

The former Root operative currently known simply as Yamato aggressively hurled kunai at a very poor and defenseless training dummy. He wasn't in a particularly good mood at the moment. Because of course on the day that he'd finally return to village after being on an extended recon mission in an undisclosed location on that very day he learned that his fears had come true and that his student had done exactly as he thought she would.

His apprentice had not been taking good care of herself it seemed. Accepting missions back to back. Over extending herself. No breaks in between, not allowing herself to recover. He knew from personal experience that doing such never ended well. Yamato hurled another kunai into the training dummy. It soared over its head, embedding into a tree behind the dummy. Splitting the bark in the process.

To make matters worse, he's been confronted by another Jonin about the situation. Blindsiding him. He should have known, should have stopped her from being so reckless. It made him angry. But not at Asuma, he was actually glad that there were others looking after his eccentric and often careless student. Glad that there was someone there to keep an eye on her when he wasn't around to do so.

No, currently he was angry at himself.

Someone else could have taken the three month long mission, or the month long guard mission for the Daimyo before that. But he's known they'd keep him out of the village, and if he wasn't in the village then he wouldn't have to keep seeing her. Wouldn't have a constant reminder of his failings, he could push away his guilt. So he should have known that Mitomi would do the same thing. She was too much like him sometimes, he'd been her teacher to long for his own shortcoming not to rub off on her.

No he just felt worse. He thought that if he left he could work through it, and get over it. But to come home and learn that she'd done the same thing. To see that they both weren't dealing with their guilt well. It only complicated his already compromised emotions further. If he had stayed, maybe they both wouldn't be so fucked up right now.

This was the first time she experienced loss of someone who she truly cared for. Someone who had cared for her in return. He had just abandon her to deal with it on her own. Yeah, he was defiantly dealing with a strong amount of self-loathing right then. It was the whole reason he was out here hurling kunai at the dummy, Yamato needed to work off some steam.

"Poor bastard."

His snapped around quickly, his eyes met the single dark gray eye of his former Anbu captain. Kakashi stood a few paces behind him, his hands llazily stuffed in the pockets of his flak jacket. He bit back a sigh, his tachio never really changed. Yamato shook his head and went to collect the scattered kunai. The silver haired jonin watched him, not moving from his spot. His visible eye followed the younger man's movements half assed.

Kakashi had wanted to be the one to inform the Mokuton user what his student had been up to while he was gone. But Asuma found him first. The Sarutobi hair was still seething. Not really towards kouhai but at the shitty situation the village was allowing to happen. No one in their right mind would generally allow a fourteen year old girl to do such reckless things. Like jeopardizing her own life or the life of those sent out with her. Eventually the lack of time off, lack of sleep, all of it would catch up to her. It wasn't anything he wanted to see happen. Kakashi actually liked the red head, no matter how much she reminded him of the Forth and his wife.

But then again, he thinks warily, the village had stood by while he did a similar thing after the death of his team. After the Kyuubi attack. Kakashi needed an out and they'd allowed him one.

"I'm sure he's seen much worse." Yamato mutters a bit to himself as he joins the other man. He was probably right.

"Sah, still." Kakashi gave the dummy one last look, Yamato had really done a number on it. The thing would probably need to be replaced. They should do that, but they don't. It be a problem for the next person who used this field Kakashi decided as he turned his attention back to the brunette.

He'd never seen him the bristled before. In that moment Kakashi was reminded of how much Yamato really cared for the girl. The Mokuton user wasn't originally meant to be her teacher, at one point the Third had been considering him for the role. Her father had been his teacher, apprenticed him like they wanted to do with her, it was only fair. But he hadn't been is the right mental place at the time to do so, it wouldn't have been fair to her. Kakashi was hardly in the right place now if how his own genin team had turned out was any indication.

So he suggested Yamato, the man was one of the few assigined to protect the twins at the time. He was familiar with her from observation, he could put aside the whole jinchuriki thing and be rational about it. Kakashi hadn't realized that by doing so Yamato would actually come to think of Mitomi as just orders. She was his student. His. The ANBU operative had come to care for her. It was a true testament to how much he had changed since their first meeting. Kakashi felt a brief sense of pride over the fact.

There was some good from this.

"Tachio, are you following me for a reason?" Kakashi lazily blinked at the question, shrugged his shoulders before giving this answer.

"I'm avoiding Gai." Yamato rolled his eyes at the obvious bullshit but didn't comment. Not sure why he expected anything else in the first place. Typical Kakashi.

"Do you know when Mitomi will be back?" Kakashi shook his head. The details of her current mission were tightly sealed. Something about allied village confidentiality. Which personally he thought sounded fishy, but that had been Tsunade's call.

"Possibly a few weeks, apparently it was urgent." He rolled his eye. So maybe he was a little annoyed by the situation too. Yamato sighed at the answer.

So there was no time table for when she'd return. He'd been afraid that was going to be the case, regardless the moment she was back and rested they would be having a conversation. It was long past due. Yamato had let her avoid him long enough. Haku would have never wanted this for either of them.

Although the Yuuki hadn't been in his care as long as Mitomi he still considered the boy his student. At the end of the day he liked to think he knew the boy well, and Haku would have never been happy about how they'd handled his death. Yamato decided, with all of that in mind. That this distance he had allowed to form between them it was ending, no more. It was over.

He wasn't about to let her digress. Not after all the progress she had made. The infiltration specialist swore he'd be better. For both of them. Losing one student was hard enough. Yamato didn't want to lose her too, and if this kept going he would.

He'd really like to avoid that.

 **XOXOX**

 **Short chapter, but I'm back writing for this story. I lost inspiration and the direction I wanted to go with this for a while there. But it's back now and I hope to have another chapter out by next week! Please let me know what you think!**

 **Thank you for all your kind reviews in the last chapter, I hope you enjoyed this one just as much!**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	29. Chapter 29

" _We're searching for a reason of existence. With our own strength, because maybe the truth is that there's no reason for life from the very beginning. Everyone hopes and tries so hard to find a reason of existence. The reason of birth, of staying with someone, of existence, believing we have to find them all with our own hands. Like finding a place for ourselves in dreams, in jobs, in people. The reasons we conclude may be indefinite and fragile. We may lose it too, but even so, we want a reason."_ _ **~Fruits Basket**_

…

 **.29**

"You are going to have to try a lot harder if you were actually planning on hitting me!"

Shikamaru contained his snort at the scene before him. Mitomi was hard to catch, even more so hard to hit. She danced around the training ground with a smirk plastered across her face the whole while as she taunted the current Kazakage. The Nara wasn't sure as to what those two were doing behind closed doors, he tried not to ask when it came to the fuinjutsu work she did, but out here in the open when she forced the red headed teen to train with her he could see the results.

The Kazakage seemed to have a greater control over himself and over the Ichibi. Shikamaru remembered how it was during the Chunin exams. He shuddered at the thought before pushing away that particular memory set. Instead he turned his attention back to the ongoing match.

He hadn't figured out how exactly she kept dodging the sand attacks. She hadn't drawn any weapons, the foxes all three of them were curled around him, and he'd seen her use maybe one hand sign the entire fifteen minutes this had been going on. In all his time knowing her he'd never seen her fight like that. Mitomi was messing with him, antagonizing the other jinchuriki, and Shikamaru couldn't figure out why.

Until he did.

Malicious tailed beast chakra fills the clearing. It has him jumping up into a defensive stance, the three foxes following in suit. Kei hackles rise as she gets in a stance to attack. Shikamaru isn't the only one, Temari who had been observing the whole thing a few paces behind him becomes very tense. But it isn't the only emotion he can feel off the blonde, there is a sense of fear in the mix.

They watch in a semi-paralyzed state as a half controlled Gaara rushes towards Mitomi. The smirk on her lips has grown, reaching her eyes. Shikamaru doesn't know what to do. Mitomi is a jonin, and one of their villages own jinchuriki she should realistically be able to handle herself. But as a leaf ninja and her comrade he doesn't want to let her. Just as he is about to make a move in her direction a barrier comes rushing out of the sand encasing the two jinchurki and effective blocking anybody from entering.

Shikamaru cursed. What was she doing?

Kei growls at the barrier before settling at his feet. She looks up at him expectantly and then opens her mouth to speak. "Mitomi-sama has been playing poke a bear all morning, trying to see how long before _he_ would try to bite her." The fox explains, Shikamaru could hear the annoyance in her tone, and the admittance takes away from the surprise of hearing the fox speak. Mitomi's summons had never spoken around anyone other than herself.

Temari looks appalled. "What!" She demands, the fox takes one look at the blonde Suna konouchi before in a manner similar to her summoner turns her head and looks the other way. Shikamaru groans then. This was such a drag.

"Mitomi's been testing the limits of the seal apparently and it seems likes she's just found a breaking point." He does explain to the blonde, crossing his arms over his chest. Keeping his eyes on the two blurry figures behind the glowing red barrier.

Shikamaru really hoped she knew exactly what she was doing.

..

"You're weak!" I growled out at him, holding my hand against the bleeding wound. He'd finally managed to hit me. The blood pooled around my fingers, I hadn't expected it to be so deep.

Half of his face was obscured by the sand, one eye mirrored the Ichibi's raccoon eyes, and the other still look horrified. As he should be. Because if only a few minor injuries and jabs caused by me could evoke the wrath of the ichibi then he didn't stand a chance in a real battle. Well I wanted to see how far I could push him before he broke, I guess I got what I wanted.

Yin Karuma's chakra slides over my skin, it doesn't burn on boil. The chakra is working with me, for me. We'd finally made our peace. **"You are pathetic little brother."** He goes so far as to taunt in the joint mindscape.

"No!" Gaara's cries catch me off guard, but I am not unhappy to hear them. He struggles to regain control for several long moments. I watch in fascination.

To think he was doing this all on his own. Slowly the Ichibi loses his control over his host. It seems perhaps I won't have to resolve to force then. Yin Karuma redacts his chakra completely. Leaving me vulnerable to any attacks Gaara or the ichibi might throw at me during the course of their debate.

His eyes widen as he notices the sudden lack of kyuubi chakra around him, and then he looks at me with a resolve I hadn't seen the entire time we'd been here. He wasn't going to let the ichibi control him any longer. "I don't need you right now." Gaara tells his demon, and to my surprise Shukaku completely withdraws himself.

Then without warning he falls face forward, hitting the ground with a soft thud. A sigh escapes my lips as I carefully walk over to him. "Idiot." He must have over exhorted himself trying to push back Shukaku.

While he's unconscious and with my barrier still standing I examine the new seal. The only change I'd been able to make to the existing seal was adding in a barrier between the Ichibi's mind and Gaara's conscious and subconscious mind. Damn Suna and their limited knowledge over an Uzumaki derived art botching something like a jinchuriki seal, rendering it almost completely unfixable unless I wanted to attempt completely resealing the Ichibi and that wasn't on my to-do list not now or ever.

So I made do with what was there, the only downside to what I'd done that it was only as strong as Gaara's will. Which he just proved to have a pretty could control over. A small sigh of relief falls from my lips, the changes I'd made were holding up rather well. He'd one day be able to work with Shukaku if he kept it up.

He comes too just as I have finished the examination of the seal. Gaara sits up slowly with a slight groan before looking at my already healing wound. "Are you alright?" I nod, I'd be fine by tomorrow so there was no need for him to worry.

I let the barrier fall, standing from his side and taking a step back. Temari rushed over to him, I bit back a scoff. My gaze turned to my mission partner then, he was walking over to join us casually with his hands stuffed into his pockets. Kei and La were at his heels as he walked, and Ra was sitting on his shoulder like the small parrot fox she was. Before I could open my mouth to speak, Kei nips at my calf.

"Not cool Kei." She stares up at me as if I am her child and she is largely disappointed by my actions. "That was dangerous and stupid." I raise my brow at the large fox then, did she just? Around other people. My eyes narrow at her, usually she only spoke to me and when we were around other people she spoke telepathically. A skill she'd learned so she never had to talk aloud when others could hear, something about how most people found talking animals alarming. Or whatever.

La the traitor mew'd in agreement with her sister's assessment. Neither she nor Ra could speak the human tongue, but I always understood them. It was a perk of being their summoner. Ra just blinked at him from her spot on Shikamaru's shoulder, before adjusting her position so she was wrapped around his neck laying down, her head rested on her front paws slowly she closed her eyes. Obviously bored. At least Shikamaru seemed like her presence on his person didn't bother him that was interesting.

"Are you okay?" Shikamaru finally questioned, his eyes locked on my bleeding shoulder, for some odd reason he seemed worried. Numbly I nod in return.

"I'm good. You?" He sighs at me as if I have exasperated him somehow and shakes his head. Muttering to himself quietly. I catch troublesome and woman, and not in that order. Before he can actually answer my question, he's interrupted by the approaching footsteps of one extremely irate blonde.

"How dare you!" I felt the sting against my cheek before I realized what exactly was about to happen. Her eyes are filled by rage, one she'd been quietly cultivating the entire time we'd been here. "You are supposed to be helping him control that demon, instead of forcing it out of him!" It's clear in her voice, the anger caused by fear. A tone I'd heard far too many times before.

Everyone reacted the same way when it came to tailed beast and their containers. Anger, hate and fear. It was a tedious and endless cycle. One I longed to be through with.

I let her seethe. Let her huff and hurl her anger at me this entire time, I had taken her mistrust and disapproval in strides. For the last month I'd just dealt with it, like I always did. But I wasn't going to let it continue any longer. Not when her words, and actions towards me could undo everything Gaara has worked for.

A hand lands on my shoulder, and I know it belongs to Shikamaru. I don't push it off. But I don't really heed the warning it give either. My hand touches the stinging flesh for a moment before I narrow cold eyes at her.

"I am helping him, for what we are learning to work with the beast. It is the only way for us to survive. If he doesn't learn how, if they can't work together then he'll die. Because eventually you lose the will to live and the beast takes over and when it has no consideration for your life it rampages until it is freed." I shake Shikamaru's hand off of my shoulder then and brush past her. Gaara is standing a few steps behind her, I pat his arm before walking away.

"You did well today."

Shikamaru and I leave first thing the next morning. There was no more I could help Gaara out with. The rest was up to him. But also I knew that after what had happened between me and Temari I would not be able to stay. I couldn't work with people who still didn't trust me, even if it wasn't them I was directly working with. Before we go I pin one of my hiraishin senbon to the front of his shirt, secretly of course, and if he noticed me doing so he didn't say anything about it.

"Thank you." He gives me and small bow. I shake my head in response, I am just glad it's over and that I will finally be able to return home.

Shikamaru sighs to my left, he gives our goodbyes and then we finally set off. We don't talk about the mission. Or the things that had transpired in the last few days, or even the fact that for some strange reason my summons have taken a liking to him. The first part of our journey back is made in complete and utter silence.

..

He takes first watch when they've made camp for the night. Still trying to process everything that had happened in the days before. Her words to Temari still echoing in his brain. _You lose the will to live and the beast takes over._ The way she had said it, with so much hurt and affliction in her voice as she spoke he wondered had she'd reached that point. Shikamaru still remembers how she acted when they'd first set out for Suna a month ago.

Mitomi had been withdrawn and hallow. She been so consumed by her thoughts that she almost seriously hurt herself whilst tree hoping. He'd seen the fearful expression on her face when her foot missed the branch. It would be a long while before he forgot it too. There was so much more to her than he'd ever realized.

She wasn't the heartless monster she tried to make herself. Behind a well-constructed mask was a human being who could feel and be hurt. He'd seen a glimpse of it then, and another glimpse just the day before. Mitomi was just like Naruto, the idiots kept hiding behind mask hoping no one would look to close and see how they really felt. Shikamaru groaned. How troublesome.

Kei joins him, the fox lays her head against his knee looking at him with a curious expression. "You are worried about my master?" She sounds unsure, Shikamaru snorts. So it seemed he was. He places a hand on her head cautiously. Genius he may be he didn't actually know how the summon would react to it.

Kei wasn't anywhere near as cuddly as her sisters were. She was more likely to bite him. The fox closed her eyes allowing him to pet the top of her head. Shikamaru gave a small sigh in relief, looking up at the stars, they shined bright against the night sky.

"She's sort of an idiot." Kei chortled at the response from the male human. He wasn't wrong.

"But she's not as bad as Naruto so there's something. Guess it just means I have to look out for her, what a drag." He muses to himself, Kei's eyes open to stare at him for a moment before quickly closing. She gives him a secretive but knowing smile. Humans were rather interesting.

The fox made an uncommitted nip at his hand, he stopped petting her head letting his hand fall in his lap. Shikamaru rose his brow at the summon. She had already changed her position so she was facing away from him. He rolled his eyes at her, Kei had briefly reminded him of her master. "I am glad to know that she has a friend like you." Kei speaks looking at him over the blade of her shoulder before standing slowly and heading back in the direction of the camp, leaving him speechless.

He hadn't realized that Mitomi considered him a friend. By the look in the Kei's eyes she knew that when she spoke, she sure was sly. His eyes drift back up to the night sky for another look at the bright stars. Unsuspecting of the changing path before them.

 **XOXOX**

 **So I had this plan that I was going to write out everything that happened to Mitomi and Shikamaru while they were in Suna. But then I didn't, because I really didn't like how I kept writing it so yeah. They'll make references to it in chapters to come, because of mission reports and the student teacher intervention that's just around the corner. Until then what do you guys think of me posting a side story full of oneshots and omakes that either don't fit into the story itself or are completely AU from what's happening within the story itself? Because I had this little short about a protective older brother AU involving a not 'Tobi' Obito and Mitomi that has been plaguing my brain for weeks. So if you'd be interested to read that sort of thing let me know and I might post some of it.**

 **Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you thing!**

 **You guys are the best!**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	30. Chapter 30

" _Do you know what the most primitive emotion people have is? It's fear."_ _ **~Death Parade**_

…

 **.30**

I should have known, I should have been paying better attention. But I'd let my guard down, for the first time in my life I felt completely at ease with another human. Look where it got us, outmatch just inside home territory. Shikamaru's back is flush against mine, and for once he was completely alert. My eyes were locked with the two before us.

I never expected this to happen. I should have been paying better attention.

Kuruma snarls in the back of my mind, he's no happier about this than I am. Well then. "Shikamaru." My voice is low but he angles his head back to listen. "When I give the signal I'm going to need you to get up and out of the way as fast as possible." I catch a nod of his head in my peripheral as I turn my full attention back to missing nin before us.

They are ever so kindly waiting for us to make the first move, if we'd been any other pair of Leaf ninja they would have attacked by now. But we're not. Shikamaru is the Nara heir and had already started to gain traction as a tactical genius like his father. We both had bingo book pages, most shinobi did once they reached chunin.

Regardless it didn't change the fact that we were surrounded, and unless I did something drastic well it's not hard to put together. I close my eyes, take a long breath holding the air in my lungs and reach deep within my core. Kuruma's chakra comes flooding to the surface, it's angry as it washes through my coils.

"NOW SHIKIMARU!" I can feel the shift I his chakra as he jumps up. Startled. No doubt, at the sudden overlap of growl in my tone. Kuruma's chakra burns beneath me skin.

I only needed a little, no tails not yet.

Just a little chakra to give me an extra edge. Yeah

That should be just fine.

I should have known better

…

Yamato had dedicated one hand to each of the Uzumaki twins. To their individual seals, one hand. His left had been marked and synced to Naruto and his right to Mitomi. Over the years she had been working on improving that method's reliability and range. He could detect any change in there Jinchuriki's seals from hundreds of miles away.

The feeling is sudden, it works it's was through his entire core. Something is wrong. Yamato drops the tea cup in his right hand. He doesn't even notice the scolding water as it splashes up hitting his skin. The burning sensation ripping its way across is palm and up his right wrist close to unbearable.

"Kouhai?" Kakashi drops his book down from in front of his face to stare at the brunette. However as soon as he notices the look on Yamato's face his senses kick into high alert.

"Yamato, what's going on?" Yamato is frozen in his spot by the pure shock, or fear, or whatever it was that he felt when he thought about Mitomi's wellbeing was. Only that feeling was now magnified and smothered in dread.

"Something's happened. Mito, she's released 6 of the nine tails." He finally pries his eyes from his burning hand. Standing quickly without further explanation, vanishing completely from his spot.

Kakashi throws some money on the table before going after Yamato. Knowing that nothing would stop the younger male from getting to his student. He summons three of his dogs, one to report the situation to the Hokage and one to the Jonin commander because if something was wrong with Mitomi, if she'd unleashed that many tails then something bad had happened to them, and the third to track down the little red head.

Kakashi had a really bad feeling about this.

…

Shikamaru hissed, clutching at his side in pain. He doesn't understand how this had happened. They were just traveling home, they were in the land of fire. So why had they been attacked? How had it gotten this far? Why? The blood from the open wound pooled in his hand. Damn, this was bad. What were they going to do?

Mitomi coughed up blood trying to sit up. She'd landed a few feet from him. Shikamaru wanted to yell at her tell her to run away. It was obvious they weren't after him. No these two wanted her. "Shikamaru?" Her eyes was frosted over, there is a shadow cast over her face and whatever he's about to say to her dies on his tongue. It's the look in her eyes, it's the fact that one of her eyes has changed from their normal shade and was more fox like.

"Yeah?" He watches her carefully, she struggles to stand. Stumbling a little as she moves to her feet. Wipes the blood from her nose and mouth.

"We've been set up. Take a look at their cloaks, surely Asuma told you." He'd noticed that earlier, right after Mitomi had charged the one with his face half covered. She'd seemed to have known them, or at least had heard of them. Because she had attacked with such precision that she had to of known what she was doing.

He'd never seen someone plunged their hand deep within the cavity of another human's chest without any reservation. She hadn't even blinked. Pulling out the man's heart in a swift motion and throwing it to the ground like it was nothing. After a few seconds the person that should have been a corpse got up like nothing had happened.

These were members of the Akatsuki. The man whose heart Mitomi had ripped from his chest was apparently an immortal. His companion, well the red head and him they had apparently met already. Shikamaru knew Mitomi well enough to know she wasn't going to back down, she was just like her brother in that manner.

Those two no matter what, they never gave up.

"Can you stand?" She questioned, her voice wavered. It sounded like she was starting to lose control. He didn't answer aloud but did give a small indication with his head. Yeah he could move. It might not be easy, but he could.

He'd tried to help her, but he only ended up getting hit by the massive sword swung over the other guy's shoulder. "You need to get far away from here." There a certain sense of urgency in her tone, an unmistakable warning.

"I can't leave you here! Don't be stupid." How could she be so… why did she think he'd just listen to her? This was ridiculous, they were out of their league she couldn't hope to keep fighting them. On her own no less. What was she thinking! Shikamaru could really see the relation between the twins then. They were just different version of the same sort of stupid.

Mitomi looked over her shoulder then, staring straight at him eyes pleading. She actually growled before speaking. "Please, I don't want to be responsible. I don't want to hurt you." He understood then, giving a slight nod of head. For some reason Mitomi actually offers him a smile then.

Shikamaru jumps back before jumping on to the lowest branch. He's not going to be able to make it far, not on good conscious that it. He needed to time to figure out the best way to plan, what his next move was going to be. For the moment he'd give her the space she needed, but he wasn't going to just leave her alone.

The air pressure suddenly dropped, thickening around him. Becoming harder to take a breath. Killer intent, thick, potent, seeped into the air. From his spot he had a great view of the forest floor below. Deep orange chakra cloaked over Mitomi's skin, bubbling at the surface, tails building out of the mass great in length reaching out behind her.

Two. Three. Four. Five. Until there were six. She fell forward then, landing on her hands taking on the stance of a beast. Snarling at the two men in black cloaks.

Shikamaru had never witnessed such a sight. It was actually fascinating, terrifying, but yet fascinating all at the same time. To behold the power of a jinchurik. The nine-tails especially. It was horrifying and fascinating, and he knew better than to get in her way then.

For a moment only one thought registers.

Fuck, they were so screwed.

 **XOXOX**

 **Betcha thought I'd abandoned this story! Think again! I am back. Like I said in my author not attached to the new chapter of Echo life is supper busy right now and I haven't had the time I'd like for these two stories. Please bear with me as I try to get my shit together. I won't make any promises regarding the frequency of updating but I will try to do better.**

 **Thank you for reading this chapter, please let me know what you think!**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**

 **Apologies for the shortness of this chapter.**


	31. Chapter 31

_"The only one who can decide your worth.. is you. If you want to earn something, you need to reach out for it. Pro-athletes give up their teenage years to train. Business owners put up collateral to borrow money. That's how it always works. To make your ambitions come true, you have to take risks. The larger the ambition the greater the risk. That might involve time or enough work to affect your lifespan... So make your choice. Live in peace as a wannabe or risk losing it all to reach the very top. You're the one who needs to decide." **~ Kakegurui**_

 **.31**

When they arrive everything is literally one fire. Yamato scans the area of quickly in search of his student or her companion. Neither teen are in direct sight, not at first. It isn't until he sees it.

Mitomi is collapsed face down in the dirt, her long hair splayed around her like a halo. Then he see's Shikamaru, the Nara races over in strained steps. He's fast to race over to them, ignoring the raging flames or the million of questions he had. Kakashi is fast on his heels having followed him.

They come upon the two teens quickly. Shikamaru is checking her pulse, his eyes wide. Yamato wonders what exactly the boy has seen. What has happened? "Shikamaru report?" Kakashi is the one to speak, crouching down the their level easily taking the girl from the boy. Her skin felt like the flames around them and if you looked closing you could see the sign of healing burns.

Yamato is still in shook. He expected to find an ongoing battle not the remnants of one.

"Thank kami." The boy breathed a relieved sigh, once he realized who had spoken. Shikamaru runs his hands over his face, wiping the sweat and dirt into his untamed hair. He needed a moment.

"Akatsuki, I'm pretty sure. Two of them, one of them escaped the other is over there." He makes an indication with his thumb and sure enough in the same sort of heep she'd left Kabuto in was none other and Hoshigaki Kisame. "Mitomi placed some sort of paralytic seal on him just before you got here. She had all nine tails and it wasn't enough. The guy who escaped she called Kakuzu." Yamato's brow rose at that. He recognized that name. The man was a rouge from Taki and apparently immortal.

"Are you injured?" Kakashi asks as he passes the unconscious Mitomi over to Yamato. She needs medical attention like yesterday and the former ROOT agent knew more than he did on the subject. Yamato takes a moment to fully access her injuries before deciding there wasn't actually much he could do. His knowledge on the subject was limited and thanks to the fox her more severe injuries were being slowly healed. So there was at least one good thing about the monster.

Shikamaru gives a slight nod at the question. "But they can wait. She needs medical attention, her condition previous to the fight was pretty bad." He tells them, just as anbu, his father, and Lady Tsunade arrive on scene lead by one of Kakashi's dogs.

Tsunade dishes out orders for the anbu to work on putting the fire out before she joins their group, the Nara commander fast on her heels. Shikamaru doesn't think he's ever seen his dad move that fast. He watches as the Hokage takes command of the scene, Tsunade has the man that can only be Mitomi's teacher lay her down gently. She doesn't even spare him a glance as she goes to access the injuries of the jinchuriki. Not that he minded.

"Report. What happened here?" She does bark at him, Shikamaru takes a breath and launches into a to the point explanation. Tsunade curses under her breath.

His father grimaces at him, with tired eyes he rubs his chin thoughtfully. Shikamaru had a feeling this wasn't going to end well.

"Lady Tsunade, I think we should take all of this back to the village." The man says with an expression that's hard to read. Shikamaru couldn't help but to agree with his father, he felt exposed here. All his previous adrenaline beginning to fade. Tsunade stands from the girl looking over at them both with a pensive hard look. Her eyes narrowed.

"Yes, the anbu will take care of getting this place back in order and then delivering the prisoner to Ibiki." And that's that.

It's decided that Mitomi will be carried by Yamato, he discovers is the brunette man's name. His father offers a side for him to lean into as Tsunade tells him that he'll be looked over more thoroughly once within the village. Shikamaru didn't protest he could hold out until then. Assuming that weren't that far anyway.

 _x_

There are two thoughts the register in my head when I come too. Everything felt like it was on fire, I felt as if I was burning from the inside out. The next is there is a huge chunk of my memory missing. What happened? How did get here? Surrounded by the familiar walls a Konoha hospital room. Because the last thing that I truly remember was drawing on all of Kurama's power. Shikamaru and I had been under attack? Why had drawn on his power like that? Nothing made sense everything was hazy, as if I was looking back through stained glass.

Beep. Beep. Beep. The soft rhythmic beeping of a heart monitor catches my attention. Just as I realize that there are several machines hooked up to my body. What had I done?

Panic, slow building and then settling on like a racing car fast and unpredictable crashes into me a full force. I claw at the different leads, pulling an IV out of my arm and ripping off what are probably heart monitor leeds. That sends the machine into a frenzy, beeping rapidly, warningly.

I can't breathe. I feel as if I am about to suffocate. The walls of my lungs are closing, the air is getting too thick to consume. What is going on?

A door slams open, just as my body starts burning in a completely different manner that before. I can feel the chakra, left over no doubt from Kurama in my system pouring out, cloaking over my skin. It burns. But it tells me that I am alive.

Suddenly a sealed covered hand is being pressed into my forehead, the kyuubi chakra subsides retreating violently back into my coils. My eyes follow up the arm of the person until I can see their face. A sense was ease settles my mind, it's shishou.

"Mitomi, I need you to calm down. You are in Konoha, you are safe." He tells me, gently pushing me back into the bed.

When he is sure that I'm calm, sure that I'm not going to lash out he takes his hand off of my forehead. Shishou takes a seat in the hospital chair next to the bed and I finally take notice of the dark circles under his eyes. Deeper than the usually were, and the tired wiry look in his dark orbs. It takes a moment to process this observation. While I make a mental note of what I do remember and take account my injuries a nurse cautiously reattaches the IV and leeds. Comparing my memories to my injuries things do not add up.

None of this added up.

"What happened? Is Shikamaru okay?" My voice is hoarse, throat dry from being under. Shishou hands me a glass of water. I drink it like it's manna from the gods and I haven't had anything to drink in days.

"What do you remember?" He asks instead, taking the empty glass from my hands. His eyes peering deeply at me searching for something. What he's looking for I can't be sure. I take another moment to think over his question.

What did I remember?

"We were outmatched, I was on my last leg. I called on the kyuubi's chakra, just four tails at first. It wasn't enough. Everything after that is sort of muddled." Shishou nods his head, a sigh falls from his lips.

"You made a full transformation, Kakuzu escaped and we have Hoshigaki in custody. Shikamaru is okay, fractured his ankle so nothing too pressing." He gets to the point, he doesn't try to paint some fancy picture. Instead he tells it to me like it is. Tells me the facts. I appreciate it. Facts I could work with, facts I could handle.

I liked facts.

Once the nurse leaves, after she asks me a few basic medical related questions and tells me not to overdo it. Shishou runs a hand through his hair before he leans forward and pulls me into the most surprising hug of my life. Wrapping both his arms around me, I return the gesture with one arm since the other was broken and in a sling. One of his hands runs through my hair the other digs tightly into the fabric of the back of my hospital dress. It was as if he was afraid, which was just a strange concept to think about.

"I'm so sorry." He mutters into the top of my head, and I'm not sure what he's apologizing for. Whatever it was couldn't have been his fault.

None of this was his fault. Only I could take the blame, it had been my choices that lead me here. Had I been in a better place, had I not thrown myself into mission after mission. Rested properly, taken a break then this wouldn't have been as bad. I wouldn't have needed to draw on Kurama's power like that.

I knew that now.

 **XOXOX**

 **I hope that all my American readers have a happy Fourth. To the rest of you guys I hope that your day is just as great.**

 **I'm just gonna leave this here for you all I hope that you enjoy, please let me know what you think and thank you for reading.**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


	32. Chapter 32

" _You're going to learn a lot of things, But it might be easier to keep living, if you didn't learn them, if you didn't know them. You don't realize your body is on fire and burning up because of the things you did. You'll understand one day. And then you'll realize for the first time that you have many burns."_ _ **~ Claudia Hodgins, Violet Evergarden**_

 **.32**

The reality of the situation, and how far past it's fallen hits me with it's crushing waves days later. It takes a lot to push away the initial panic that arises in me because of the facts. We were so far off the course I had know idea what any of this would mean for the things to come. I wish I could say that it didn't matter, that obscuring things so far off their path didn't bother me. But that would be a lie.

It was easier to protect my brother and continue to manipulate the direction the story was taking if I actually knew what was supposed to happen. The things that I had changed in the past were in the grand scheme of things insignificant in the long run, I'd let the Chunin exams and Sasuke's betrayal run their course for the most part I'd only intervene where necessary in order to maintain some of Naruto's innocence.

Kisame being in Konoha custody was a very large change of plans, an unexpected pothole on the path. There was no possible way this was going to end well. Absolutely no way for this to work out for the best. I was just frankly not that optimistic about the situation. The only way I could even feel better about it was if I could talk to our friendly neighborhood fishman and no one was even letting me close to where they were keeping the missing nin.

I can't say I'm surprised, or that I blame them. Not really. The man was responsible for a previous kidnapping attempt to my person and was one of the reasons I'd just landed myself a nice trip to the ICU. Also, I had this feeling that they didn't trust me, didn't trust what I would do.

In their defense I'd given them no reason too. From the outside looking in I knew what they saw. What they would say about my current physical and mental state. So no I would not be getting to talk to the man any time soon, no matter how much I wanted too. No matter how badly I needed too.

For the first time, in a very long time I was at crossroads. I had no idea how to proceed from here. No Idea in what direction to go. If this was how most people felt on a normal basis than I felt sorry for them. I hated the uncertainty of the unknown.

The reality was I'd forgotten what it felt like to not know. How predictable I'd become. Great, there was my narcism again rearing it's lovely head.

What to do? What to do?

Looks like I might just have to wing this one. Or wait to have that chat when the man ultimately escaped. Either way I would get my answers.

"Mito?" I blink, it takes a moment to pull myself out of my head. These days I found myself getting lost more frequently in my thoughts. Shishou had put another barrier up between myself and Kuramu for the time being, just until my coils had fully healed and then he knew I would take it down. So It was just me in my head and when it was just me it became all the more easy to get lost.

You may be wondering about when shishou learned how to use fuinjutsu like that, and the answer is really simple. I am his student, I also am a master at fuinjutsu like my father and mother. Shishou is the only one in the village who stands a chance in hell of controlling Naruto or me if we ever go berserk, so I've been working with him to improve said control. Keeping in mind that I know how to fully work around any of his containment seals so it wasn't like it could come back and bite me.

I may have trusted shishou with my life, with Naruto's life, but I did not always trust those who gave him orders. Nor would I change my feelings on that stance. Blind faith worked out for exactly no one. I was many things, but I was not a blind follower.

"Mitomi." This time my name is said with a little more forcefulness and a slight shift to my person as Shikamaru nudges my shoulder to gain my full attention. I must not have responded it was was considered a timely manner.

"Huh?" He raises a brow giving me this look like I should know what he was doing. For the record I honestly couldn't have been sure. I was in the middle of having a sort of external crisis. Shikamaru sighs shaking his head before helping me to my feet.

Why he was making me move from my favorite shade spot I still couldn't figure it out. I'd just wanted to brood by myself away from everyone's concerned eyes. I think I much prefer their hateful glances over this. I hated being pitied.

"My mom invited you for lunch, come on she'll be mad if we take any longer." Well then, I can't say I was expecting that. Shikamaru's mother could be very scary if she wanted to be, and as entertaining as it was to watch other people get the front of it I did not want to be caught in the crossfire at all.

I let Shikamaru pull me along, not particularly having the energy in me to protest. But also because perhaps I was secretly okay with spending more time with him. Shikamaru was one of the first people outside of my small circle to see me. Not the demon fox girl, not Naruto sister, just me. Just Mitomi.

I could never thank him enough for it. He would never know how important that had been to me. No words would ever be enough. Kami. When had I become the sentimental type. Fuck, what was happening to me? I needed to get a grip. Needed to focus.

It was time to re-evaluate. And damn, that didn't sound like it was going to be any sorts of fun. I was not looking forward to it in the slightest.

 **XOXOX**

 **Yeah short chapter, I'm sorry. Still trying to figure out the details for how the next little bit is going to go.. Also been caught up writing the next chapter of Echo which is taking a lot out of me. So this is where I'll leave you for now. Please let me know what you think, hope you guys enjoy it!**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **Sincerely, La'Rae**


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